FOULING THEIR OWN NESTS IS WHAT COMMUNISTS DO:

International financial centers don’t have political prisoners. https://t.co/8V4CwgrJX0

— Mark Simon (@MarkSimonHK) April 3, 2024

DON SURBER: This week’s wins: Don’t let the news media get you down. We are winning.

SALENA ZITO: Democrats should be jittery about Pennsylvania voter registration trends.

WELL, YES: Believe data, not activists: Transgenderism among kids is mostly a fad.

PRO-TERROR AT HARVARD: Harvard Grad Student Calls on Hamas To ‘Strike Tel Aviv’.

NOBODY BELIEVES CHRISTINE BLASEY FORD, NOT EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND TO: ‘It wasn’t him’: Alleged witness pans Kavanaugh accuser’s new memoir reviving sex-assault claim. Maybe even especially the people who pretend to.

AS IT’S MEANT TO: That’s the Idea: UK Survey Finds Diversity Training Forces Workers to ‘Conceal beliefs’ for Fear of Losing Their Job.

SMITH & WESSON MOVED FROM GUN-HATING MASSACHUSETTS TO MY HOMETOWN OF MARYVILLE, TENNESSEE, and product is now shipping.

As they say, it’s a new beginning.

IT’S SAD THAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING THIS, AND SADDER THAT IT’S BELIEVABLE: Ready for the 2024 Election Pandemic?

UM, ASK YOUR MOTHER:

Teen Thanks Parents For Supporting Him Through That Time Of Confusion But Can He Have His Testicles Back Now https://t.co/rPIylWSsmd pic.twitter.com/DzNkcjYjlf

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 4, 2024

Related:

Democrats Warn Parents To Quickly Transition Their Kids Before They Grow Out Of It https://t.co/oWV0NClQNu pic.twitter.com/moGxc9gWI8

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 4, 2024

OPEN THREAD: Just do it.

THIS PARAGRAPH CAPTURES THE ESSENCE OF THE ATLANTIC’S SAD PIECE ON THE WORLD’S BIGGEST CRUISE SHIP: “A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.”

Mocking cruise ships and cruisers is a long-established custom of the Gentry Class. But it’s hard to mock successfully when you yourself are pathetic.

Plus: “As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.”

But he misses the lesson there, of course.

UPDATE: A friend texts:

What a writer proudly and pompously ignorant of what “aft” means looks like.

Excuse me, I mean a travel journalist.  

Are you sure this isn’t some really hurtful Sacha Baron Cohen hit on the left?

Kinda reads like one.

I mean, the subtle attack on lefty douchebaggery via the clever lens of a lefty douchebag.

I wish. Plus:

This is not actually an article about cruise ships.

I for one salute The Atlantic for the petard hoistment. The unabashed mirror on itself, compliments of this wanker who seems to be more interested in himself than the alleged subject matter. It’s almost like a desperate cry for help. Like, this is the depth of masturbatory douchebaggery we have sunk to!

Well, for some values of “we.”

THE NEW SPACE RACE: China launches first of a new series of Yaogan reconnaissance satellites.

WHY IS THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP HAMAS FROM LOSING? Biden Calls for Ceasefire During Phone Call with Netanyahu.

TUNED MASS DAMPERS FOR THE WIN: How a steel ball protected Taiwan’s tallest skyscraper in an earthquake.

SCIENCE: Thinking You Look Younger Has A Curious Link to How You Age.

ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE: Jupiter’s Moon Europa Beckons As NASA’s Clipper Prepares for the Unknown.

FLASHBACK: Time for Consequences: The “Cabal” who bragged about rigging the 2020 election stuck us with an incapable president at a time of crisis. Examples need to be made.

MICROBIOME NEWS: Gut microbes may influence odds for obesity.

THE DARK SIDE OF TRADER JOE’S.

WELL, GOOD: 2025 Porsche Taycan Looks the Same but Is Much Improved: Porsche’s EV sedan gets a major boost in power and range and is still great to drive.

CIVIL RIGHTS UPDATE: 3rd Circuit Denies Rehearing In SAF Pennsylvania Gun Rights Victory.

PROGRESS:

The Polaris Dawn Dragon is headed to vacuum chamber testing! SpaceX teams celebrate Dragon's departure with @rookisaacman, @KiddPoteet, @Gillis_SarahE, and @annawmenon ahead of launching to orbit this summer pic.twitter.com/WFjp7pKK7B

— SpaceX (@SpaceX) April 3, 2024

THE LONELY LIVES OF SCIENTISTS: Researchers investigate the role of tickling in adult sexuality.

SLOW: NASA delays Starliner launch to no sooner than May 6.