KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Woke Left Lunatics Have Come for Willy Wonka. “Make no mistake, whitewashing literature via posthumous content editing like this is far more insidious than banning books. The danger is in the subtlety.”

PRIORITIES: Biden Pentagon Quietly Expands Woke Transgender Policies in the Military. “Military commanders, doctors and nurses, chaplains, and military men and women at all levels must endorse and act on this ideological belief or suffer career penalties if they don’t.”

HMM: ‘DeSantis the Destroyer’ Blows Up Chicago’s Mayoral Race. “Enter the superhero. Ron DeSantis the Destroyer will visit the Windy City on Monday to address the city’s largest — and very powerful — police union. The Destroyer will come to blow up the mayor’s race. And he’s already succeeded beyond anyone’s wildest dreams.”

DISPATCHES FROM THE RED ZONES: Under DeSantis, Crime In Florida At 50-Year Low. “Overall, the number of crimes was down 8.3% compared to 2020, and the crime rate dropped 9.5%. Within that subset, murders fell 14.2%, robberies dropped by 17.5%, aggravated assaults dipped by 1.6%, and burglaries declined by 15.1%.”

HEH: Leftist Group Rocked by Revelation That Its ‘Queer, Muslim, Multiethnic’ Equity Chief Is Really A White Lady.

FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: Florida Woman Gets Free Cookie, Goes on Armed Rampage. “This week we have the heartwarming tale of the man who popped open a beer before his field sobriety test, the manliest dog rescue ever, and how not to react when given a free cookie. Plus, some craziness in Portland that even Florida Man would have trouble believing.”

THE NEW SPACE RACE: SpaceX matches global launch output. “In its quarterly briefing for Q4 2022, Bryce Technology reported that SpaceX lofted 142,300 kg into orbit during the fourth quarter of last year. China’s space program was in second place, with 69,900 kg, followed distantly by NASA, Roscosmos, and Arianespace. SpaceX’s cumulative total, consisting primarily of Starlink satellites, nearly matched the cumulative total of all other space agencies and companies in the world.”

It really is Musk vs. the world.

WATCH: Lights On, No One’s Home as Kamala Explains Chinese Spy Balloon.

BEHIND THE CURTAIN: Reporters caught on hot mic blaming each other for Biden refusing to take questions: ‘Poor way to handle that.’

Frustrated reporters who waited weeks to hear from the president were caught on a hot mic in video posted by The Recount grumbling at each other for scaring the president away by shouting all their questions at once.

“That seemed bad,” one appeared to say, while others talked over each other, another said, “He can’t hear if everyone’s shouting.”

“That does not help our authority to get information out of the president,” a reporter could be heard more clearly saying.

A female journalist said, “He was going to answer questions.”

“That was a really poor way to handle that,” another added.

He isn’t up to the job.

STARSKY AND HUTCH: You’ll Be Shocked, Shocked to Learn About the Reboot’s Shocking Twist. “Here’s the twist, and I hope you’re sitting because this is the twistiest twist that a network ever twisted up to give a 45-year-old franchise that twisty new show smell.”

LAUGHING WOLF: Peace At Any Price. “Far too much of what is being discussed and pushed is not in touch with the reality of Russian culture and internal dynamics, much less that of Ukraine. Anything that does not take such into consideration will fail. Spectacularly. Creating something viable, or at least make each step suck the least, requires strong, informed, and capable leadership. Looking at the Biden Regency, Castreaux, Macaroon, Charles/Sunak, Shultz, Vladimir, etc., yeah, right.”

A longer piece but I found it well worth my time.

FACT CHECK: Did George Soros Endorse Ron DeSantis?

CUT DOWN THE TALL POPPIES: To Increase Equity, School Districts Eliminate Honors Classes.

UNEXPECTEDLY! California’s Predicted Fiscal Firestorm Has Arrived. “The bad news for California starts out with ‘California tax revenues, a bellwether for the country, declined 42% year-over-year in January, led by a 50% decline in income tax revenues.'”

That’s where the bad news starts.

Related: You Won’t Believe How Many People Have Fled California.

FREE THE FOOD TRUCKS: Denver’s Downtown Food Truck Ban May Be Unconstitutional, Law Firm Says.

The Institute for Justice (IJ), a Virginia-based nonprofit law firm, sent a letter to the city council last week urging them to “repeal” the temporary ban. In response to a crime spike and disastrous shooting earlier this summer, officials prohibited food trucks from operating on portions of Market, Blake, and Larimer streets between 18th and 22nd streets on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

“None of the bystanders in LoDo were hit by a flying spatula. That’s not what happened,” attorney Justin Pearson, who authored the letter, said. “It makes no sense to punish food truck owners because the city government is ashamed of its own mistakes. If you’re worried about crime, the last thing you want to do is get rid of food trucks.”

Lawyers say the policy is unconstitutional because it violates equal protection measures, adding that legal action is possible.

Previously: Los Angeles Is Ending Its War on Street Food.

MEANWHILE, OVER AT VODKAPUNDIT [VIP]: Putin’s Stupid and Unnecessary War, Part III. “NATO hasn’t been this unified since the 1980s, when Ronald Reagan, the UK’s Margaret Thatcher, and German Chancellor Helmut Kohl were all of one mind about resisting the Soviet threat. In a few years from now, frontline NATO countries will be better armed than they ever have been.”

Don’t forget that VODKAPUNDIT promo code if you’ve been thinking of joining us.

A TRILLION HERE AND A TRILLION THERE…: Debunking Biden’s Malarkey: 7 Ways He Added $6 Trillion to Deficits.

OH, GROW UP: Dept. of Interior Now Offering ‘Eco-Grief’ Training to Employees.

HEH: ‘They Should Be Willing To Drink It’: EPA Administrator Says Water Is Safe After Ohio Train Crash, J.D. Vance Invites Him To Take A Sip.

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Eco/Green Weirdos Need Some Tough Love. “The notion that grown-ups need a hug because Floaty the Polar Bear might soon show up on the streets of Manhattan is beyond embarrassing. That we’re now subsidizing this nonsense is a sure sign that karma won’t be kind to this once great Republic.”

#RESIST: Oregon judge rules against local Second Amendment sanctuary laws, calling sheriffs who allow them ‘racist.’

GO AWAY: World Government Summit Panelist Says ‘Shock’ Needed for ‘Transformation’ of ‘International Order.’ “To me, the big question is how are we going to go through this transformation? It cannot be gradual, it has to be driven by a certain shock that will happen.”

Never let a crisis go to waste, even if you have to create one.

CHRISTIAN TOTO: They’re Coming for Your Favorite Podcasts.

Last year, aging rocker Neil Young led a crusade against “The Joe Rogan Experience.” Young hoped to silence the host’s alternative views on COVID-19.

The effort quickly went viral, with Rogan’s detractors piling on with any cultural cudgel within reach.

Rogan’s pandemic-related interviews were merely an excuse to silence someone who opened his podcast studio up to voices on the Left, Middle and Right.

Rogan survived the extended Cancel Culture assault. Barely.

Now, The New York Times and The Brookings Institution have teamed to expand that censorial effort. Their targets? Conservative broadcasters like Clay Travis and Buck Sexton.

Lefties keep assuring me that cancel culture isn’t real.

CHANGE? Idaho House of Representatives Passes a Resolution to Start Talks About “Greater Idaho.”

LADIES’ MAN: Don Lemon Goes Full Sexist in Rant About Nikki Haley.