May 23, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Formulagate Has a Third World Hell Hole Feel to It. “The monumental incompetence of everyone in the Biden administration is truly unprecedented. The two people at the top couldn’t figure out how to open a jar of spaghetti sauce without burning down a house and it just gets worse from there.”

May 20, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Will Hillary Clinton Ever Take the Fall for Being Pure Evil? “The latest doings in the Durham probe are getting so close to Hillary that she’s probably hitting an extra box of Franzia for breakfast every day.”

May 19, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis Verbally Groin-Kicks a Reporter and It Is GLORIOUS. “DeSantis knows that he’ll never have a friend in the MSM. He not only doesn’t care, but he also embraces the fact.”

May 18, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Gen. Michael Flynn Punches Back at His Government Tormentors. “Flynn was tragic collateral damage in the Obama/Clinton jihad against Trump. It’s a shame that they can’t be locked up for what they facilitated.”

May 17, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Kamala Harris Exists to Make Joe Biden Seem Coherent. “While I don’t like to attribute any competence to Team Biden, I am beginning to think that his handlers had Kamala Harris in mind for the second spot on the ticket all along.”

May 13, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: The Biden Justice Department Is Unfocused and Unhinged. “The United States has plenty of real problems but this administration keeps going after phantoms under the bed. Now President LOLEightyonemillion is running around babbling about the dangerous ‘Ultra MAGA’ bogeymen that are rattling around in that empty brain of his.”

May 12, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats’ Baby-Killing Bill Gets Aborted. “The Democrats wanted this to be a single issue that would throw votes their way in this year of desperation but one of them helped save the unborn.”

May 11, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Nancy Pelosi Should Probably Stop Getting Drunk Before Work. “I’ve paid a lot of attention to Pelosi since she first became Speaker and I’ve always been stunned by the fact that the woman is an absolute train wreck whenever she’s near a microphone or a camera. Long before we were being subjected to the incoherent ramblings of the village idiot in the Oval Office right now, Granny Boxwine was barfing up word salads on the regular.”

May 10, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dem Abortion Meltdown Isn’t Slowing GOP Midterms Momentum. “Americans in the heartland are no doubt more concerned with the fact that we’ll all be eating cheap ramen if Biden’s economy keeps spinning out of control. People still vote with their checkbooks (Google it, younger readers) more than their genitals, much to the chagrin of the Democratic elite.”

May 9, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Already Unhinged Abortion Cretins Sink to New Lows. “I hate to begin the week with this, but I’ve got some bad news for the optimists out there: the rift between the right and the left in America isn’t going to get better. In fact, it’s not really a rift anymore. It’s more of a widening ideological chasm that will no doubt soon reach Grand Canyon proportions.”

May 5, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Dems’ Disdain for Rural Americans Is Their Real Midterms Problem. “Rural voters who are worrying about financial issues probably aren’t as concerned with abortion on demand and propping up teachers who talk to first-graders about gender reassignment as coastal Dems are.”

May 4, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats Find a New Lunatic Fringe After SCOTUS Leak. “We’re overloaded with examples of the tantrum but I’ll just give you a sort of greatest hits list this morning.”

May 3, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Supreme Court Leaks, Progressive America Freaks. “Because none of them ever seem to work, they took very little time to gather at the Supreme Court to protest. There was chanting and shrieking, probably even some rending of garments.”

May 2, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Disinformation Commies Have a DeSantis Problem. “What’s interesting about this is that the Democrats have a dismal track record when going head-to-head with DeSantis. If Biden’s Truth Nazi effort is going to be DOA or short-lived, who better than DeSantis to help facilitate that?”

April 29, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Joe Biden Admits That He’s Not a Fan of Joe Biden. “There is so much to not like about Joe Biden that it’s difficult to narrow down his worst traits. I’m gonna give it a whirl here though.”

April 28, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Looks Like We’ll All Be Biden Broke Soon. “It’s the age-old, classic tale of just how wrong things can go when the government tries to ‘help.’ There is no shortage of historical evidence regarding exactly what can go wrong, yet politicians — especially those on the left — usually ignore it all and wreck things for the long term in order to win a popularity contest in the short term.”

April 27, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Lib Twitter Tantrum, Day 2—Send Fainting Couches and Diapers. “Imagine millions of grownups taking on the characteristics of a child in his terrible twos who was being raised by parents who had yet to say ‘no’ to him. Alleged adults spent time that they could have used productively engaged in a collective snot-bubble meltdown.”

April 26, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Free Speech Now Has a Heavy Musk Scent. “If free speech lovers had to pick a Who’s Who list of people and organizations we’d like to see annoyed, we couldn’t do better than what Musk provided on Monday.”

April 25, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Has Woke Worn Out Its Welcome for Some Lefties? “COVID-19 isn’t the only plague that this country has been dealing with these past couple of years. Woke wandered away from college campuses and infected almost every area of life, including the boardrooms of corporate America.”

April 22, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Jill Biden’s Criminal Elder Abuse Is Going to Ruin Us All. “It’s important to keep reminding ourselves that we are, in fact, not crazy. After all, we’re living in a time when the seemingly pervasive mainstream media keeps insisting that what we can plainly see with our eyes and hear with our ears isn’t really happening.”

April 21, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Defund the Police — Democrats Lied, Black People Died. “The Ferguson riots play a central role in the Democrats’ incessant disparagement of law enforcement. That’s when His HIgh Holiness the Lightbringer Barack Obama got really comfortable with blaming cops and trusting criminals. What the Democrats did in 2020 was his legacy.”

April 20, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Growing Impotence of Old Media on Display At WaPo and CNN+. “It is important to acknowledge that corporate, mainstream media is losing the stranglehold it once had on the information flow in this country. It may not be happening as quickly as we’d like but it is happening.”

April 19, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Anti-Science, Emotional Weakling Mask Fetishists Had a Rough Monday. “It’s a kink with these emotional cripples. They crave being controlled by the government. It’s a turn-on for them. The thought of being left to their own devices terrifies their submissive, masochistic psyches.”

April 18, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: New York Times Takes a Swing at God, Misses Wildly. “They desperately don’t want us to have a singular authority. The moral relativism that leftists deal in thrives on a lack of absolutes. God is a most definitely inconvenient notion for those who would rather that society be buffeted about by the whims of the day.”

April 14, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Hey FBI, We’re Running Low on Those White Domestic Terrorists You Keep Warning Us About. “Before the cries of ‘RAAAAAAACISM’ come raining down harder (they’re always raining down, after all), I want to say that I’m not positing that all white people are innocent. And I have no doubt that there are some fringe groups out there that are heavy on the Caucasian. What I am saying is that maybe federal law enforcement should look at things on a case-by-case basis, rather than through a lens that’s clouded by a narrative that is driven by a political vendetta.”

April 13, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mitt Romney Seems To Know That He’s Jeff Flaked Himself. “Republicans aren’t a hive mind like the Democrats. There are always members of the GOP in Congress who are willing to swim upstream in their own party just to get a pat on the head from The New York Times. Yes, the Democrats have had their struggles recently with Joe Manchin, Kyrsten Sinema, and AOC but they’re anomalies. There is always a Manchin, Sinema, or AOC hanging around the GOP.”

April 12, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Confirmed — Blue State Commies Had the Worst COVID Policies. “As those of us who’ve long harbored a healthy distrust of the government know, the government will eventually prove that we were smart for doing so.”

April 11, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Do Republicans Have a Legit Shot at the Senate in November? “Mark Kelly has been flying under the radar as he finishes out the late John McCain’s term. He hasn’t distinguished himself but he hasn’t really made many enemies. The real problem here is that Arizona Governor Doug Ducey is the candidate who would almost be a slam-dunk to beat Kelly but he’s not running.”

April 8, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Reminder — Barack Obama Is Un-American and Awful. “Upfront: I know, I know… RACISM.”

April 7, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Democrats All-In On Being the Pervert Option for November. “The Democrats have long been preying upon the youngest among us via abortion. There was a time, however, that the kids seemed to get a bit of a grace period from them if they managed to survive the Planned Parenthood gauntlet. I don’t know what the kids did to them but that grace period is no more.”

April 6, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Obama Returns to White House and Biden Can’t Find a Friend. “When this trip was announced it was obvious that Biden’s puppetmasters were hoping that a visit from The Lightbringer would inject some energy into an administration that can’t even aspire to be moribund right now. What they got was Barack Obama being Barack Obama and Joe Biden wandering around like the sad boy who can’t get anyone to play with him at his own birthday party.”

April 5, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Elon Musk’s New Majority Stake in Twitter Makes Things Fun Again. “That 9.2% makes Musk Twitter’s largest shareholder now, which is kind of delicious. Yes, it’s a passive stake, which, in theory, means he won’t be influencing the company but this is still a bold move. Musk really doesn’t do anything passively. In fact, he wasted no time stirring things up, tweeting a poll that addressed and poked fun at what is one of the most frequent complaints of all Twitter users.”

April 4, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: DeSantis vs Disney Is the Fight America Needs Right Now. “It’s not just that Disney is, sadly, taking the woke route, it’s that the company is so wrong on this issue. The woke plague has been infecting corporate America badly for a couple of years but to see a company that was built on wholesome family fun go all-in on talking to 7-year-olds about sex is really disheartening. It’s also perfectly indicative of why we need to push back harder.”

April 1, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Border Nightmare Continues to Get Worse. “Naturally, the Democrat Media Complex is all but ignoring the issue. When Trump was president the flying monkeys couldn’t shut up about it. Now it’s as if the border has vanished into thin air.”

March 30, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Liberal Perv Parade Proving Exactly Why Florida Law Is Needed. “When did the world become so insane that kindergarteners needed to know what teachers did for fun over the weekend? I come from an era when it was nigh on impossible to imagine my teachers existing outside of the school when I was that young. And we certainly weren’t going deep on gender issues then. We were mostly playing tag and eating boogers.”

March 29, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Media’s ‘Reaganesque’ Biden Spin Is WAY Too Much to Stomach. “I’ve had it with the Biden water carriers in the mainstream media. OK, I know I am always in various states of ‘had it’ with them but the you-know-what covering the flying monkeys in the mainstream media have been doing since the speech President LOLEightyOneMillion gave in my ancestral homeland Poland last week has been a bit rough even on my cast-iron stomach.”

March 25, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Fauci’s Folly Has a Disturbing Non-COVID Body Count. “The reason I singled out Fauci in the headline today is because the leftists elevated him to god-like status and it’s been obvious from Day One that he’s an attention whore who relishes being the face of the government’s faux battle against COVID. So tag, he’s it.”

March 23, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Disney’s LGBQTWXYZ Frenzy Sows Division in the Company Family. “This is really sad for those of us who love Disney. I turn into a 9-year-old kid whenever I go to Disneyland (Disneyworld is overrated) and I will never stop loving the place. My screensaver on my phone for the last five years is from spending Father’s Day 2017 at Disneyland with my daughter.”

March 22, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: SCOTUS Confirmation Circus Highlights Dems’ Short Memories. “The Dems are, of course, hoping for a big kumbaya moment despite their shameful behavior, especially during the last two confirmation hearings. Many on the right are clearly in the mood for some righteous anger and retaliation from the GOP.”

March 21, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Is America’s Fauci Fatigue Nearing An End? “It’s mostly a big tease so far. Fauci is a government hack who doesn’t relinquish power easily. Those of us who haven’t been part of the leftist cult that grew around Fauci feel that he might be a vampire who will be there forever.”

March 18, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Reminder — Colin Kaepernick Can’t Throw a Football. “The only reason Kaepernick is ever in the conversation is because of the woke plague. He wasn’t a good quarterback when he was booted out of the NFL but he managed to turn his perpetual victimhood into the reason that he was out of work.”

March 17, 2022

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Why Do Joe Biden’s Handlers Let the Idiot Speak? “It is no secret that Joe Biden isn’t really in control. Some ungodly cabal of puppetmasters is pulling the moron’s strings. From what we’ve seen so far, they aren’t brighter than their drooling charge. If they were, they wouldn’t let Ol’ Gropes speak in public. Ever.”

September 23, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: We Might Be Spared the Burden of Biden’s Infrastructure Boondoggle. “I can remember a time when ‘trillion’ didn’t routinely come up in proposed legislation. It really wasn’t even that long ago. Now it often seems like a default starting point. We’re playing with Monopoly money now and the D.C. folk spend like drunken sailors on leave in Thailand.”

Sailors in Thailand get some value for their dollar.

September 22, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Biden’s Fake Presidency Could Wreck the Dems For a Long Time. “While I do worry about the damage to the U.S. Constitution our senile, alleged president and his puppet masters can do before November of 2022, I also relish the fact that his scorched-earth commie plan might relegate the Democrats to the backbench for quite some time.”

September 21, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: LOL — Beto O’Rourke Wants to Be Embarrassed Again. “Way back in the day, Beto would have been laughed off of the political stage. The 21st-century mainstream media is so riddled with leftist bias, however, that he’s kept in the national conversation. The MSM hacks actually believe this guy is smart.”

Well, to them he might be.

September 20, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Idiot Joe’s Neglected Border Crisis Is Getting Even Worse. “By any objective measure, Joe Biden hasn’t been doing well as president. The media and the brain-dead Democrat electorate can’t be objective, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that the rest of us have to live in the dystopian toilet that Biden keeps clogging.”

September 17, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Mask/Vaccine Nazis Are Getting More Unhinged Every Day. “Yes, we are suffering from a plague in this country — a plague of rudeness. This pandemic is causing a lot of people to act out in ways that we shouldn’t be tolerating. The mask/vax types are under the false impression that they are morally superior and can threaten or mistreat anyone they want. There were several different stories on Thursday that got my blood boiling a bit.”

September 15, 2021

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Racist CA Democrats Reject Chance to Elect Historic Black Governor. “It’s no use exhorting my friends there to get out, even though I really wish they would. I know they would love living in America. California mesmerizes people though, especially Southern California. The perfect weather and the beaches help you block out the politics and the fact that lunch always costs at least $100. It’s a sort of lifestyle-induced Stockholm Syndrome that makes conservatives stay. I did it for almost 25 years, all the time believing that I would eventually help bring about some change.”

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