LIST: The Bestselling Luxury Vehicles of 2026.

CALIFORNIA FORBIDS OFFSHORE PRODUCTION, FORCES REFINERIES TO CLOSE, AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: California ‘running out of fuel’ as imports dry up, Trump needs to act to prevent crisis: experts.

These problems will extend far beyond the state. Nevada gets about 80% of its gasoline from California, and Arizona gets nearly half of its supply from the state. California is also home to a dozen ports through which a large portion of U.S. exports and imports are transferred, and the state is home to key West Coast military bases. It’s also nearly 15% of the U.S. economy. Without fuel, operations at California’s businesses and industries, and these important ports and bases, will be severely impacted.

While the war in Iran has raised the risk level from stressed to dangerous, Mische explained that the end of the conflict won’t immediately avert the crisis. If the exports of petroleum began to flow normally today, it would be a couple of months before the shortfalls would be addressed. Tankers would need to ship the products across the oceans. Refineries would have to be restarted, and back orders would need to be filled.

“You’re two months out. It’s crazy,” Mische said.

Self-government has proven a one-party-state disaster for California and its neighbors.

Alternate headline: What would we do without experts?

MY LATEST SUBSTACK ESSAY: The Future Belongs to Those Who Show Up.

WELL, WE’LL SEE:

NEWS President Trump tells me:

-No ground troops will be required to remove enriched uranium from Iran

-Iran has agreed to stop backing all proxy groups like Hezbollah and Hamas

-I asked if Iran has agreed to stop enriching uranium *forever.” He said, “They’ve agreed to…

— Weijia Jiang (@weijia) April 17, 2026

FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: The $700,000 Foot Bath Fraud. “It’s time for your much-needed break from the serious news, and this week, we’ll learn the freakiest way to rip off health insurers, yet another reason not to use Mugshots.com as a dating app, and how they’re exiting the courtroom in Colorado these days.”

STAY SAFE: aosu Security Cameras Outdoor Wireless, 2 Cam-Kit, No Subscription Required.: #CommissionEarned

WHY DID SESAME STREET GET THE WORKS? THAT’S NOBODY’S BUSINESS BUT THE TURKS:

I hope this doesn't mean rooftops for Bert and Ernie https://t.co/KRx16FMzZu

— Northern Barbarian (@xnoesbueno) April 17, 2026

Time to make Elmo tell us who radicalized him https://t.co/2sYpYKkzJB pic.twitter.com/BiVkdF8UBF

— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) April 16, 2026

Elmo has apparently been halal for a while now. From February: Elmo Wishes Ramadan Mubarak to All of His Friends.

As you’ve undoubtedly seen, it’s that time of year when politicians wish a blessed Ramadan to their constituents. As Twitchy reported, Rep. Sharice Davids copied and pasted her Ramadan Mubarak post, sending her best wishes to all of her Muslim neighbors in Nassau County … which doesn’t exist in Kansas. A lot of time and care go into these things.

A lot of people noted that Ash Wednesday sort of flew under the radar in favor of Ramadan. Louisville, Kentucky, Mayor Craig Greenberg lit up the Big Four Bridge in honor of Ramadan.

* * * * * * * *

Now, Elmo wishes a blessed Ramadan to all of his friends. Yes, we searched his timeline, too, and came up empty.

To be fair, it was a pretty schizophrenic February for the furry little bugger: No Bueno! Elmo Has Some ‘Splainin’ to Do After Creepy Reaction to Bad Bunny’s Very Adult Super Bowl Set.

REQUIRED READING:

Scott Bessent is a goddamn economic warlord…

the kind of apex predator who doesn’t just play the markets…he weaponizes them into precision-guided ordnance that leaves entire regimes bleeding out in the dirt.

If you still don’t get why this man spent years in the belly of the… https://t.co/e0Xid8dTot

— LHGrey™️ (@grey4626) April 16, 2026

A SMALL MEASURE OF ACCOUNTABILITY: NSSF Files FEC Complaint Against Giffords PAC For Not Reporting Joint Fundraising.

BUT UNLIKE CERTAIN MINNESOTAS, THEY SEEM TO BE WORKING ON IT: Texas Not Free From Welfare State Fraud.

HMM:

🚨 The Islamic Republic is showing a MAJOR internal fracture at the highest levels in real time.

After Araghchi and Trump both claimed the Strait of Hormuz is “open,” IRGC-linked Fars News is now openly questioning officials, warning of confusion inside the country, and… https://t.co/YoOAA46Fed pic.twitter.com/ahCEPsPdii

— The Iran Watcher 🇮🇷 (@TheIranWatcher) April 17, 2026

Meanwhile, the US naval blockade on Iranian ports and vessels continues, even with Iran suddenly announcing that Hormuz is open again.

MARCO RUBIO, VICEROY OF VENEZUELA: State Department on Venezuela: No Trust, Just Leverage.. and a Plan for Elections?

SPELING IS HARD:

You can't tell me that this is a legitimate system of government

I don't care if you're the silliest libtard on earth, there's no way you really believe this woman should govern a city of 6 million people https://t.co/Ljktqkm2Aa

— Bennett's Phylactery (@extradeadjcb) April 17, 2026

TRIM YOUR NAILS: 360° Rotating Toenail Clippers. #CommissionEarned

ON NOTICE: The DOJ Has Warned Virginia About Its Anti-Gun Jihad.

SPOILER: THE COUNTERPRODUCTIVE YAPPING WILL CONTINUE.

Every foreign policy genius who spent a decade collecting paychecks to tell us Iran was untouchable just watched a real estate developer from Queens reopen the waterway that moves a third of the world's oil.

The credential class should be embarrassed into silence. pic.twitter.com/HjKVfZq5T5

— Mehek Cooke🇺🇸 (@MehekCooke) April 17, 2026

WELL: What’s the deal with Alzheimer’s disease and amyloid? For decades, scientists have concentrated on what now looks to be a blind alley.

A CONSERVATIVE GOES BEHIND ENEMY LINES: What I Saw at Kamala’s Book Tour Talk.

AND YET I DO BELIEVE IT:

You are not going to believe this

Utah Supreme Court ruled against a Republican-led amendment tied to a redistricting effort… just TWO weeks after a judge attended a party at the home of the lawyer who fought against it

She’s now UNDER INVESTIGATION for allegedly having a… pic.twitter.com/VwgSoQ0SYl

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) April 17, 2026

HMM: Missing general, scientist deaths tied to secret US work prompt White House probe.

HMM: Netflix stock slides as forecast misses, co-founder Reed Hastings announces departure from board.

BRAVO, WELL PLAYED, SIR:

I mean this probably is the best tweet ever produced. It’s perfect like a diamond pic.twitter.com/AJsJSVAm8P

— BoiltOwl (@nealjclark1) April 17, 2026

HMM: These Are the 4 Most Overlooked Signs of Declining Health, According to Aging Experts.

OUCH: Check Nancy Pelosi’s Back for Tire Marks Because Kevin McCarthy Just Pulled a Swalwell Hit and Run.

If THERE’S ANYONE LEFTIES DON’T DESPISE (ESPECIALLY THEMSELVES, DEEP DOWN), I DON’T KNOW WHO IT MIGHT BE:

For the DSA Left the ‘working class’ is a theoretical abstraction that is invoked to justify the self entitlement and prerogatives of a class of affluent (but downwardly mobile) professional and creative elites. https://t.co/b0LsOzleWb

— Coddled Affluent Professional (@feelsdesperate) April 17, 2026