FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: How to Go Back to Jail with This One Weird Stabbing Trick. “It’s time for your much-needed break from the serious news and this week we have Florida Man’s worst-ever impersonation of Danny Trejo’s ‘Machete,’ the worst-ever getaway vehicle, and Colorado Man’s worst-ever everything.”

EVERYTHING IS STUPID: Museum Claims Dinosaurs Have ‘LGBTQ History’ And Birds Are ‘Queer.’

DEVELOPING…: Tony Bobulinski’s Lawyers Refuse to Accept Jessica Tarlov’s ‘Clarification.’

JOANNE JACOBS: Four years after ‘two weeks to flatten the curve’…

HERE WE GO AGAIN: Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Motion to Vacate Speaker Mike Johnson.

DON’T WORRY, PANICMONGERS, BIDEN WILL ALL BUT MANDATE THEM AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL: Maine rejects sweeping electric vehicle mandate in blow to governor’s climate agenda.

KEVIN DOWNEY JR: Hungry an Hour Later? Wait Until China Controls Our Food Supply.

BLUE ON BLUE: Bill Maher, John Cleese Trash New York Times.

John Cleese visited Bill Maher’s “Club Random,” this week, and the conversation quickly went woke.

By “woke,” we mean the comedians took turns trashing the far-Left movement. Nothing surprising there. Both comic superstars have spoken at length against the cultural scourge.

They might be the movement’s most vocal critics.

What proved far more shocking is how the progressives tag-teamed against the Old Gray Lady.

The New York Times has been an integral part of liberal life for decades. The paper always leaned to the Left, and for many that perspective proved comforting. It embraced their world view and told a reasonable facsimile to the truth.

Not anymore, each lamented.

Maher brought up a recurring section of the paper where readers sound off on various subjects. That feedback left Maher reeling.

“We’re f***ed,” Maher said to Cleese with a smile. “They’re just saying the dumbest s***, and it’s printed in the New York Times.”

These two are about a hundred years behind the times but better late than never, I suppose.

BYD: Here Comes the EV Bloodbath Trump Warned Us About.

EVERYONE’S GONE TO THE MOVIES: Spread the Word: ‘Climate: The Movie’ Out Today Online for Free and It’s Terrific. “The film explores the nature of the consensus behind climate change. It describes the origins of the climate funding bandwagon, and the rise of the trillion-dollar climate industry. It describes the hundreds of thousands of jobs that depend on the climate crisis. It explains the enormous pressure on scientists and others not to question the climate alarm: the withdrawal of funds, rejection by science journals, social ostracism.”

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE LEFTISM: ‘Get Him! Get Him!’ The Angry Mob Comes for Kyle Rittenhouse Again.

WE’VE BEEN A MARITIME TRADING NATION SINCE BEFORE WE WERE A NATION: The US’ Waning Naval Dominance and China’s Surge Should Worry You.

The Houthis are sinking ships and killing sailors. China is waging a persistent campaign to make the South China Sea its own private lake. Russia is claiming international waters in the Arctic Ocean. The war in Ukraine has made the Black Sea a shooting gallery.

The flashpoints are scattered, but the fundamental crisis is the same. Freedom of navigation is a hallmark of America’s liberal international order; it is a pillar of the relative peace and tremendous prosperity humanity has achieved. And now, as its defenders grow weaker and its challengers become more assertive, it is being threatened in regions around the globe.

Like the dominance of democracy or the absence of great-power war, freedom of navigation is one of those features of the modern world that we often take for granted because we forget how exceptional it really is. For most of history, the seas were neither safe nor free. Pirates and privateers seized ships and stifled commerce. Nations protected their own commerce and no one else’s. In his famous treatise Mare Liberum, published in 1609, Hugo Grotius may have argued that no country owned the oceans. The behavior of a great many states suggested they thought otherwise.

This really changed only with the ascendancy of the Anglo-American sea powers from the 18th century onward. In wartime, Britain’s Royal Navy conducted blockades that were the terror of its enemies and the neutrals that traded with them — including the United States. In peacetime, Britain’s interest in securing trade routes that connected a far-flung empire made the seas safer for others as well. And when Britannia’s rule faltered, amid the global wars of the 20th century, Washington stepped in.

Read the whole thing.

IT’S SO MUCH EASIER JUST TO NOT LIE: Jessica Tarlov’s False Claim About Tony Bobulinski Sparks Lawsuit Threat Against Fox News “In a letter PJ Media obtained, Bobulinski’s lawyer demands an on-air retraction and an apology from Tarlov for making a false claim.”

THE LEFT’S WAR AGAINST ELON MUSK EXPLAINED IN ONE TWEET:

On Twitter: 3% believe a fake news Trump lie.

Off Twitter: 40% believe a fake news Trump lie.

Twitter is the Democrat's biggest issue for 2024. https://t.co/ept2BD0EnP

— Rasmussen Reports (@Rasmussen_Poll) March 21, 2024

The platform still has serious issues but it does seem to be working.

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: They Have Come for Your Children — Woke SCOTUS Edition. “I’m only seven years removed from my daughter’s time in high school. A world where I could lose my rights as a parent if I didn’t adapt my beliefs to honor the whims of an adolescent child was inconceivable then.”

THAT ISN’T SUSTAINABLE: Most Carmakers Lose An Average Of $6,000 On Every Electric Vehicle They Sell. “We estimate that most OEMs currently lose around $6,000 on each EV they effectively sell for $50,000, after accounting for customer tax credits. We also estimate that OEMs will only be able to close half of this cost gap by making the right technology choices; economies of scale as automakers ramp up production will help, too, but they won’t make up the difference. Then there is the impact of looming Chinese imports to consider; market prices will likely contract further, exacerbating the profitability challenge. At some point, it will become untenable for OEMs to lose money on every vehicle they sell.”

Sounds like a bloodbath in the making but Biden is all-in, regardless: The EPA Is About to Outlaw Your Car.

MATT MARGOLIS: Supreme Court Deals Crushing Blow to Parental Rights. “Earlier this week, the United States Supreme Court dismissed an appeal from the parents of a teenage boy who were stripped of custody rights by the state of Indiana for not affirming their son’s self-proclaimed ‘gender identity’ as a girl.”

HMM: Chinese scientists find laser weapons can strip the coating off hypersonic missiles with unexpected ease.

When using laser weapons to defend against hypersonic missiles, cranking up the power does not automatically guarantee better outcomes.

That is what a team of aerospace defence engineers and scientists from Beijing found after conducting wind tunnel tests to examine a scenario in which a missile travelling at Mach 6 is hit by a laser beam.

When the beam’s power density reached 1kW/sq cm, it caused significant peeling of the coating on the missile’s surface.

This special coating is what gives China’s hypersonic weapons their edge. Without it, they would be prone to overheating, destabilising or even falling apart mid-flight.

But here’s the kicker: when the scientists doubled the laser’s power density, the area of peeling actually decreased.

“Under the influence of hypersonic airflow, the coating sustains more damage when hit by a lower-powered laser,” wrote a team led by senior engineer Lin Jian with the Chinese Academy of Aerospace Aerodynamics in a peer-reviewed paper published in the Chinese academic journal Physics of Gases in January.

Or maybe that’s just what they want us to believe.

MEANWHILE, OVER AT VODKAPUNDIT [VIP]: Dear Donald Trump: the Primaries Are Over, So Act Like It (You Too, Mike Pence).

SURE LOOKS LIKE AN INVASION TO ME:

This is the moment when TX National Guard became overrun by migrants rioting to get across the border here in El Paso today

We were there and saw it all happen. Absolute chaos here. pic.twitter.com/VN6Kf663ie

— Jennie Taer (@JennieSTaer) March 21, 2024

DON’T BE EVIL: Google Invents a New Way to Stick It to Trump.

SPACE: A Soyuz crew launch suffers a rare abort seconds before liftoff.

On Thursday a crew of three people was due to launch on a Soyuz rocket, bound for the International Space Station.

However, the launch scrubbed at about 20 seconds before the planned liftoff time, just before the sequence to ignite the rocket’s engines was initiated, due to unspecified issues. Shortly after the abort, there were unconfirmed reports of an issue with the ground systems supporting the Soyuz rocket.

The three people inside the Soyuz spacecraft, on top of the rocket, were NASA astronaut Tracy C. Dyson, Roscosmos cosmonaut Oleg Novitskiy, and spaceflight participant Marina Vasilevskaya of Belarus. This Soyuz MS-25 mission had been planned for liftoff from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan at 13:21 UTC (6:21 pm local time in Baikonur).

Such scrubs are rare. The Soyuz booster and its launch systems are typically robust, launching regardless of weather conditions—watching an orbital, liquid-fueled rocket launch during a snowstorm is quite a trip. And the Russians have plenty of experience with the booster. Since its debut in 1966, across a number of variants, the Soviet Union and Russia have launched more than 2,000 Soyuz rockets.

I’m curious to know what caused the scrub but don’t expect an honest answer out of Moscow.

ROBERT SPENCER: Biden Regime Considering New Move to Stab Israel in the Back and Hand Hamas Victory.

WHEN THE LAW WON’T PROTECT LIVES AND PROPERTY, VIGILANTES WILL: ‘Vigilantes’ try to evict squatters at $1M Queens house after homeowner who confronted them is arrested in tense standoff.

MEANWHILE, OVER AT VODKAPUNDIT: A Long Time Ago, in an LGBTQ+ Galaxy Far, Far Away…