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AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD: College Student Aces Final By Just Answering ‘Racism!’ To Every Question.

According to sources, local English major Charlie Miller was able to ace her final exam by simply writing in the word “racism!” for every answer.

“Yeah, I completely forgot to study last night so I figured I would try it,” she said. “90% of my lectures this year were just hour-long sessions of my professor saying ‘racism’ over and over again in different inflections, so I figured my chances were pretty good if I made that the answer to all the test questions.”

The Skidmore College English professor who delivered the passing grade explained her rationale. “Charlie’s test answers weren’t technically correct, but they spoke to a deeper truth: everything is racist. At Skidmore College, creating leftist radicals who can find racism everywhere and help us burn down Western Civilization is much more important than educating people. For that reason, we decided to give her a passing grade!”

Somebody’s on her way to becoming the next CEO of NPR! (Or Google, the New York Times, MSNBC, etc.)

Posted at 1:45 pm by Ed Driscoll on Apr 20th, 2024

AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD: Journalist At NPR Suspended, Leading To Shocking Discovery There Was A Journalist At NPR.

A journalist and senior editor at National Public Radio has been suspended, leading to the astounding revelation that there was a journalist working at NPR.

Uri Berliner, who has worked at the taxpayer-funded media organization for 25 years, was suspended after he recently wrote an essay exposing how NPR had lost all trust among the nation’s public.

“Wow, they had a real journalist at NPR? That’s news to me!” said one member of the astonished nation’s public. “I thought they were just mellow voices on the radio that told me in a matter-of-fact, upper-crust, college-educated manner what Leftist narrative I was supposed to believe about any given story.”

Indeed; as our leftist betters become more and more surreal and comical, the Babylon Bee is increasingly doing straight-up reportage.

Posted at 6:45 pm by Ed Driscoll on Apr 16th, 2024