HE’D ALREADY EATEN THE CAT:  Traveler hid dead birds from China in luggage and said they were cat food, feds say.

SHOWERING WOULD BE INTERESTING:  Liquor pours out of water faucets after booze contaminates well.

IT IS THE 21ST CENTURY, YOU KNOW?:  Army’s new fabric works to destroy nerve agents.

SHOCKED, SHOCKED, SHOCKED:  Chinese Military Charged In Equifax Hacking Attack.

THE AUDACITY OF THE COMMIE DOPE:  Workers of The World Unite, Obama Gives Two Thumbs Up.

SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD COME UP IN A CHINESE-DESIGNED GAME. DO WE HAVE PROOF THAT BIDEN IS NOT A CHINESE KNOCK-OFF CYBORG? IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HIS EYE FILLED WITH BLOOD AND IT WAS NO BIG DEAL:  The Biden dog-face and pony-soldier show.

BUT BUT BUT TELLING THE TRUTH TO GOVERNMENT INVESTIGATORS IS THE KIND OF THING ONLY REPUBLICANS OUGHT BE REQUIRED TO DO!  Why Bill de Blasio is furious over a simple ‘correct the record’ rule.

AND MORE COMPLEX: Totalitarianism and Ignorance.

IT’S MORE DANGEROUS THAN WE THINK:  Surviving Our Own Secrets in a Complex World Full of Danger.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Gordon Chang:   ‘Overwhelmed’ Chinese authorities are deliberately falsifying coronavirus death toll.

NOTE HOW THEY AVOID INSULTING PIERRE DELECTO BY INSULTING THEIR WHOLE BASE INSTEAD. I WONDER WHAT THEIR NEXT TRICK WILL BE? SHOOTING OFF THEIR FEET?  AH, STUPID PARTY, NEVER CHANGE:  CPAC chair says Romney was uninvited because ‘physical safety’ would be at risk.

THE BABYLON BEE IS REPORTING STRAIGHT UP NEWS AGAIN. AMERICA’S NEW PAPER OF RECORD:  ‘Everything Is Fine,’ Dems Report As Pelosi Cracks, Trump Acquitted, Primaries Implode All In One Week.

BUT STILL WITHOUT A SINGLE IDEA NOT BASED ON HIS BACKGROUND AS A RED DIAPER BABY:  In New Hampshire, Pete Buttigieg Campaigns With Growing Confidence.

ART AND MORONS, BECAUSE WHY NOT?  The Ace of Spades HQ Mid-Morning Art Thread is Fighting the Culture War.

LOOK, KIDS CAN LEARN BY SITTING DOWN AND BEING LECTURED AT. THEY HAVE FOR CENTURIES. OTOH KIDS CAN’T LEARN WHEN SURROUNDED BY MARXIST INDOCTRINATION THE PURPOSE OF WHICH IS TO TEACH AN AVERSION TO THINKING AND REALITY.  TO WHICH I’D LIKE TO ADD OCCASIONAL CORTEX IS EXCEPTIONALLY DUMB. AND ALSO THAT HER HAVING A BA IS WITNESS TO GRADING BEING BASED ON “SHOWS UP AND IS BREATHING”:  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proves why the American education system is broken.

AND SPEAKING OF CRAZY TOTALITARIAN REGIMES:  Iranian Regime Cracks Down on ‘Indecently Dressed’ Mannequins in Shops.

IN GOOD TIME:  Wuhan Virus Watch: White House Asks Experts To ‘Rapidly’ Investigate Virus Origins.

ER… WHAT? IS JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY A MARTIAN?  Joe Biden Calls Female Student A “Lying dog-faced pony soldier”

I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN, IF EVERYONE HAS LOST THEIR MINDS TO THE POINT MINI-MIKE CAN BUY THE PRESIDENCY WITH A FLOOD OF MONEY…  WELL… WE’LL FIND OURSELVES FIGHTING IN THE STREETS TWO WEEKS OR SO LATER:  Can Bloomberg buy it?

NO! SHOCKING! I’M SHOCKED, SHOCKED, SHOCKED. THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE!  Ilhan Omar Hates America.

I WOULDN’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE ANY OF THE MAENADS IN WHITE. BUT AMONG THE MANY LIES OF THE PRESS, ONLY DEMOCRAT WOMEN GET TO BE BEAUTIFUL. IT’S OKAY, BECAUSE IT’S THE EASIEST TO DISPROVE, WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT THEY CALLED MICHELLE BEAUTIFUL BUT IGNORE MELANIA:  Girly Stuff is EMPOWERING When Democrats Do It.

Thanks, I’ll believe my lying eyes all the same.

I’D LIKE TO THINK HE IS RIGHT, BUT WE PROBABLY WON’T KNOW FOR SURE FOR ANOTHER MONTH:  Wuhan and the World.

BEST CASE SCENARIO BRACE FOR THE IMPACT. AND GET READY TO TELL YOUR SOFT-HEADED FRIENDS THAT THE RECESSION IS NOT TRUMP’S FAULT, SINCE EVEN TRUMP CAN’T ENGINEER PLAGUES IN CHINA AND INEPT RESPONSES FROM TOTALITARIANS:  Coronavirus: the spiraling economic impact.

FROM MY FRIEND TOM KNIGHTON (CATCH UP WITH HIM AT BEARING ARMS!): With Triumph And Disaster.

Alien life is theoretically possible, but what few signs of life are scattered through the universe are of primitive cultures that barely made it out of their own stone age, if that.

So when a big discovery threatens to shake the very foundations of xenoarcheology, it’s big news. The problem? Someone doesn’t want it discovered and they’re willing to kill to keep that from happening.

When an old friend asks Tommy Reilly and the crew of Sabercat to give them a hand, he can’t say no.

That’s when things get interesting.

AND YOU THOUGHT BEER GOGGLES WERE A PROBLEM:  Erectile dysfunction pills can permanently distort vision.