THAT ASSUMES SHE EVER HAD IT:  She’s Completely Lost It: Now Pelosi Is Claiming ‘There Was No Acquittal’.

ALL OF THAT, BUT ALSO LIBERAL PRIVILEGE THAT CONFERS THE ABILITY TO BE ABOVE THE LAW. AS WE’RE BEING REMINDED, ALMOST FIVE YEARS LATER:  Incompetence or Indifference? The Continuing Story of the Clinton Emails.

AMERICA’S PAPER OF RECORD (THE BABYLON BEE) COVERS THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY (IN GLORY. OKAY, NOT REALLY, IN “SNORT-GIGGLE”):

Bloomberg Stops By Daytona 500 To Hand Out Speeding Tickets.

Sanders Fired From Sanders Campaign For Refusing To Work.

Biden’s Female Staff Warned To Wear Backward Wigs So He Doesn’t Sneak Up On Them.

BECAUSE IN REAL LIFE, THEY DO:  Choices MUST Have Consequences.

WE MIGHT HAVE TO REVISE OUR CONCEPT OF “SPECIES”:  ‘Ghost’ DNA In West Africans Complicates Story Of Human Origins.

OH, DON’T WORRY. WITH COMMUNISTS AND SOCIALISTS RUNNING FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF THE US, CONSUMPTION OF WINE WILL PICK UP. I’M BUDGETING FOR MY OWN. HECK, IF BERNIE IS ELECTED I’LL START MAKING BATHTUB GIN BY THE BATHTUB FULL:  Less demand for wine is reducing its cost.

BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT HAPPENED ABOUT THE TIME COLOMBUS DIED:  Nobody knows what’s going on with the colossal nearby star Betelgeuse.

SURE. WHO COULD AFFORD BABIES UNDER OBAMA?  Is the American baby boom of the ’20s on the way?

OH DEAR LORD. SHOULD WE ALSO GET RID OF FLUORIDE IN WATER? WHAT ABOUT THE FELL SECRET HAND OF THE ILLUMINATI?  Getting rid of airplane contrails could help save the planet.

#BELIEVEALLWOMEN:  Yankees battling obsessed fan claiming to be Brett Gardner’s ‘future wife’.

FOR THE SAME REASON OUR CORPORATIONS BOW TO THEM. RELIGIOUS FANATICS OF AN UNFORGIVING RELIGION ARE SCARY:  Delingpole: Why Is Boris Johnson Allowing Eco-Fascists to Run Riot in Britain?

ALSO SEE:  The Left Is Awash In Money.

WELL, CRUISESHIPS ARE KNOWN TO BE INCUBATORS OF ALL THINGS NASTY:  Wuhan Virus Watch: 14 American passengers evacuated from cruise ship test positive for coronavirus.

AND, OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW…. THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP SCREAMING ABOUT TRUMP’S TWEETING, ARE THEY GOING TO BE BOUGHT BY BLOOMBUG?  ‘Black And Latino Males Don’t Know How To Behave In The Workplace’: Bloomberg Flashback.

OH, YOU THINK THAT’S BAD?  Mike Bloomberg as Mary Poppins is a Train Wreck We Can’t Stop Watching.

THIS IS OUTRIGHT FISHY:  No, really fish. [video. Also, you’ll need brain bleach. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.]

SURE, BUT IS THERE A DARK PSYCHIC CLOUD?  “Mini Mike” Bloomberg complains about Bernie Bros negative energy.

OH, YEAH, WE REALLY NEED THE DIZINFORMAZIA!  Jane Fonda to Speak at 50th Memorial of Kent State Shooting.

HONESTLY YOU CAN PUT A PERIOD AFTER TRUMP:  Media Freak Out Over Trump At Daytona 500.

IT’S OKAY, MIDGET MIKE IS NOT SMART ENOUGH TO RUN FOR OFFICE OUTSIDE NYC:  Mike Bloomberg Says Farmers Aren’t Smart Enough To Code.

OKAY, THAT’S IT. WE NEED FTL:  ‘Baby giant planet’ discovered just 330 light-years from Earth.

THERE’S A TON OF ASSUMPTIONS IN HERE. I’D PREFER IF WE WENT AND SAW:   “Toffee Planets” Hint at Earth’s Cosmic Rarity.

FICTION HAS TO BE PLAUSIBLE. REALITY DOESN’T BOTHER:  “The Devil’s Mercedes-Benz” found, and other details on Operation Anthropoid.

NOTE THAT THE SURVEY ASKS NOTHING ABOUT WHAT THEY’RE WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR PREVENTING CLIMATE CHANGE AND THE MOST POSSIBLE REGULATION — BAN OF SINGLE USE PLASTIC BAGS — DEMONSTRABLY DAMAGES THE CLIMATE MORE THAN CONTINUING TO ALLOW THEIR USE:  Voters claim they want a leader who’ll actually do something about climate change.

SOMETIMES THERE’S A LOT LESS GOING ON THAN WE’VE BEEN TOLD:  Global Warming In a Few Charts.

EMPLOYEES ARE USING THE LOW UNEMPLOYMENT AND RISING BLUE COLLAR WAGES TO LEVERAGE DEMAND FOR RAISES? I BLAME TRUMP!  Strikes are 257% up in 2 years, even though labor union membership is down — why more workers are taking a stand.

Nevertheless policy directors of left leaning think tanks say it isn’t enough, demand structural reform  (Gee – I wonder what that new structure might be! I’d guess same structure they prescribed for global warming and global cooling and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Socialism. Again.)

THE LEFT AND ASTROTURF:  The Democrats’ Fyre Festival Nomination.