THIS IS MOST CERTAINLY FAKE BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH: Officials In South Carolina Are Warning Citizens Of Possible Lizard Man Sightings During The Eclipse. And honestly?  Not much laughing going on just now.

OH, GREAT, ONE MORE THING TO WORRY ABOUT: Warning: Fake Eclipse Glasses Aren’t The Only Hazard Out There.

PRO-TIP, DON’T STAND IN THE RAIN: We’ve finally learned how to avoid getting struck by lightning.

END KITTEN TERRORISM!  GIVE THEM TUNA ALREADY: Kitten to blame for today’s awful morning commute.

WHEN YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH HELL, YOU RECOGNIZE THE SMELL OF BRIMSTONE: The Blessings of a Soviet Education.

NEWS YOU CAN USE:Get a massage, science says you need one.

LET’S NOT FORGET GOOGLE: The Curse of Monopoly.

THEY WISHED IT INTO BEING:The Faces Of Those Responsible For The Return Of Racism.

HIGH TIME AND PAST HIGH TIME: Conservatives Need To Stop Accepting Leftist Premises Of Public Moral Superiority.

THERE IS A VAST GAP BETWEEN CAN AND SHOULD:You can now own a ‘Game of Thrones’ sword-shaped sex toy.

IN THE EMAIL FROM JOHN VAN STRY: Days of Future Past – Part 3: Future Tense.

SAME AS IT EVER WAS: Communist Anti-Cop Gym Owner Actually A Filthy One-Percenter.

YEAH, THE NORKS ARE TOTALLY GOING TO OUR SHORES WITH THEIR CR*PPY DIESEL SUBMARINES: The day after pigs fly. Chilling satellite images suggest North Korea is about to launch missiles from submarines as nuke crisis with US escalates

A RACE FOR VICTIMHOOD: The War of the Hyphens.

DO THEY WANT A CIVIL WAR? THIS IS HOW YOU GET A CIVIL WAR: Class at Stanford University to Discuss ‘Abolishing Whiteness’.

MY WEIGHT DOES OPPRESS ME, BUT I’M FIGHTING IT! The Latest From Liberal Academia? ‘Fat Studies’ to Examine Weight-Based Oppression.

I’M SHOCKED, SHOCKED: Michigan City Indoctrinates Kids in Lefty Protest Tactics but Won’t Let a Conservative Farmer Sell His Vegetables.

THAT AND TIPPING OVER: NYT: Nuclear Attack Schnuclear Attack, What Guam Really Needs to Fear is Climate Change

HE’S NOT A PROGRESSIVE: President Trump has come under fire for not singling out white supremacists for condemnation following the violent clashes in Charlottesville. 

NO NEED TO RELOAD: These people are learning to sword fight like warriors.

THE FRUIT OF OBAMA’S WEAKENING OF AMERICA: Inside the Ring: China’s New Long-Range Missile .

IS THIS THE MONTH OF SJWs BEHAVING BADLY? Being Free.

WITHOUT DOUBLE THINK THEY WOULDN’T HAVE ANY THINK AT ALL: On Google and doublethink.

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? Energy drinks are the gateway to cocaine addiction, study finds.

SOMEONE ELSE SEES THE HOLE IN “WITH FOLDED HANDS”: Robots are going to put us all out of work!