I LIKE TOM KNIGHTON.  TOM KNIGHTON IS A FRIEND OF MINE.  BUT I DO BELIEVE HE TYPED “THINKS” WHEN HE MEANT “FEELS”:  A Progressive ‘Male’ Thinks ‘Man’ Is a Dirty Word.  I don’t believe there was ever any thought involved.

SOUNDS LIKE CHRISSY HAS A PERSONAL FANTASY.  MAYBE HE WORKS FOR FUSION GPS?  Why Does Chris Matthews Insist on Making Golden Showers Jokes About Trump?!?

YEP, YOU GUESSED IT, IT’S A THREE (3!) SHOCKED FACE NIGHT.  I’M STARTING TO FEAR IT WILL FREEZE LIKE THIS: Spin Cycle Begins As The Left Tries To Explain Away Trump Dossier Funding.

AND IN A STUNNING DEVELOPMENT, THE SHOCKED FACE MAKES ITS SECOND APPEARANCE OF THE NIGHT!  Emails Show Obama’s DOJ Channeled ‘Slush Fund’ Money To Leftist Orgs.

LEFTIST PRIVILEGE: Ellen DeGeneres Ogles Katy Perry’s Boobies, But That’s Okay.

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY WANT HUMANITY TO GO EXTINCT, BELIEVE THEM: (Then say: you first.)  Rationalizing Extinction.

TO A MORE INNOCENT WORLD, THE UN SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA:  I confess that I’m not a hundred percent sure how 100 wolves and a fatted calf voting on what should be for dinner seemed like a good idea, but we have evidence it did, even to rational and smart people.  But I think we can say it’s an idea whose time is so far past, it’s starting to smell.  It smells of graveyard.  The Rubber Hits the Road.

WE OPEN WITH A DISPLAY OF MY SHOCKED FACE:  Iran Paving Way to Abandon Nuclear Deal, Fortify Missile Program.

WHAT WAS THIS APE DOING IN EUROPE OVER NINE MILLION YEARS BEFORE HIS FAMILY LEFT AFRICA?  Probably standing on the corner, minding his own business, but all the same… 9.7 million-year-old teeth could ‘rewrite’ human history.

THE ‘ELITES’ ARE REVOLTING:  Who is to blame?

ONCE A TREASONOUS WEASEL…  Bergdahl Once Again Avoids the Consequences of His Actions.

HOIST ON THEIR OWN PETARD:  Hillary Clinton: House Opens Investigations Into Uranium One And Emails.

OKAY, THAT’S FUNNY:  As MSNBC Questions Need for More Imposing Border Wall, Obliging Illegal Migrants Hop Right Over Existing Fence.

FASCINATING:  My Surprising Career as an Amazon.com “Fake” Reviewer.

SOMETIMES IT’S CORRUPTION ALL THE WAY DOWN:  Emails: Obama DOJ Officials Sought to Route ‘Slush Fund’ Cash to Orgs of Their ‘Choosing’.  Future Historians will be fascinated by how the last administration was dirtier than the Augean stables, while bragging of probity.

WELL, I ACTUALLY AM SHOCKED DECENCY PREVAILED:  Park Service Cancels Funding for Project ‘Honoring Legacy’ of Black Panther Party.

THERE ARE WASHED UP ROCK STARS, DEEP IN THE THROES OF DRUG ADDICTION, WITH A BETTER GRASP ON REALITY THAN HILLARY: Hillary Unplugged.

SOLVING NONEXISTENT PROBLEMS DEPARTMENT:  ‘Feminist’ ballet flat emoji is downright offensive.

NEWS YOU CAN USE:  Happy Mole Day!

TURN ABOUT IS FAIR RHINO:  African rhino injures poacher in rare reversal of fortunes.

HALTING MEASURES THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION LEFT IN PLACE FOR NATIONAL SUICIDE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME:  Trump Admin Expected to Kill Landmark Boeing Plane Sales to Iran. Kind of like removing the plastic bag from one’s head.  And yet the left will object.

CUE THE SURPRISED FACE:  Russian Spy Ring Got Close to Hillary Clinton; Previously, State Department Denied Russian Spy Ring Got Close to Hillary Clinton.

HE’S RIGHT, YOU KNOW?  Japanese Defense Minister Sounds Alarm on North Korea.  Of course the reeeee brigade thinks this is somehow because Trump “antagonized” Whoa That Man Fat leader of NK, instead of our passivity and Obama’s laxity in foreign affairs having brought things to this pass.

SOUNDS LIKE THEY SHOULD AVOID DEMOCRAT MEN (ODDS ARE, IN EACH INSTANCE CITED, THE HARASSER WAS A DEM):  Warren, other senators share horror stories of sexual harassment.

THEY’VE ALREADY MADE THEIR BEDS:  ‘We don’t want them back’: No mercy for foreigners who joined ISIS.