THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Schumer Virtue Signals While Hollywood Diversity Burns.

WAIT, WHAT?  21st century exorcists learn to cast out demons with a cellphone.

BECAUSE HE’S THE CRAZY ONE… TOTALLY!  Comedian wants restraining order against Trump over nuke threats.

WITH 2 BILLION FB USERS, DOUBLING MONITORS TO 20K MEANS EACH IS MONITORING 100,000 USERS (FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY?):   Why Zuckerberg’s testimony doesn’t add up.

NEWS FROM 1950:  Divorce is contagious — and it happened to me.

WHEN THE ZUCK CLOSES THE DOOR HE OPENS A LITTLE WINDOW:  This is how easy it is to flout Facebook’s new privacy rules.

NEWS YOU CAN USE!  Hate swallowing pills? Try this trick.

AND FOR THE FACT HE NEVER WAS PRESIDENT, WE SHOULD GIVE THANKS FASTING.  TOO BAD HE ALSO NEVER PAID FOR LEAVING A YOUNG WOMAN TO DIE:  I’m Not Going to Be President.

MATH.  I’M A FAN!  Can Humans Melt the Antarctic Icecap?

WESTERN SOCIETIES ARE DYING OF: Too Much To Lose.

WHEN PATIENTS AREN’T THE CLIENTS:  Canada’s government considers its doctors to be a cost source.

NEWS YOU DEFINITELY CAN USE:  Airline boarding passes are full of secrets.

CONTEXT MATTERS — SOMETIMES IT MAKES YOU LOOK COOL, SOMETIMES YOU JUST LOOK CONSTIPATED:  Not smiling doesn’t make you look cooler: study.

NEWS YOU CAN USE BUT REALLY DON’T WANT TO:   Animal feces and urine detected in counterfeit makeup.

YES, INSANE PEOPLE DO REPRODUCE!  Parents refuse to reveal their child’s gender.

I GUESS IT REDUCES THE CARBON FOOTPRINT:   Freeze-drying dead bodies could be the future of cremation.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS YOUR FRIEND ON FACEBOOK DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ATTEND HER WEDDING:  Woman goes broke attending 20 weddings in 4 years.

IT’S TERRIFYING IN THERE.  ALSO, REALLY, REALLY DIM:  Thank God You Don’t Live in the Mind of a Journalist!

SINCE THE CONSTITUTION MENTIONS NO TRANSGENDER ISSUES, BEYOND GRANTING THEM THE SAME UNALIENABLE RIGHTS AS THE REST OF US, I FAIL TO SEE WHAT THE PRESIDENT SHOULD DO.  ISN’T YOUR COURAGE AWARD VALIDATION ENOUGH, MS. JENNER? YOU REQUIRE THE PRESIDENT TO TELL YOU HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE, TOO?   Caitlyn Jenner: Trump Performance Good in ‘Certain Areas’ but ‘Horrible’ on Transgender Issues.Well, at least she’s proven she’s a famous woman of a certain age.  Desperate for attention.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:   James Comey Says ‘Yes,’ He Shifted ‘to Collecting Evidence of a Crime’ in His Trump Notes.

CONSERVATISM IS NOT RACISM.  RACISM IS BELIEVING PEOPLE CAN’T HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN IF THEY HAPPEN TO TAN:  Black Conservative Blasted for ‘Speaking Against Own People’.

YEAH, BUT HE’LL LAND ON A CUSHION OF MONEY.  PROGRESSIVE PRIVILEGE:  It’s all downhill for Comey now.

YES, BUT NO, I DON’T THINK THEY DID:  Red lines in Syria: if Russia really wanted Trump to win the election…

AKA, ATTACK OF THE CRYBULLIES:  Theater of the Improbable Victim.

YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES, IF THEY PROCLAIM SOMETHING IT’S THE OPPOSITE:  The people who claim themselves woke have political sleep sickness, the ones who call themselves inclusive are lousy haters, and the ones who say they believe in science wouldn’t understand science if it bit them in the fleshy part of the buttocks.  Science Deniers March for “Science,” But Only the Science They Like.