NO ONE HERE GETS OUT ALIVE:  Scare-tistics.

IMPEACHMENT DREAMING:  Parallel media universes: the MSM is obsessed with Trump and Mueller .  And it’s blinding them.  Not that, you know, they hadn’t already carved their metaphorical eyes out with grapefruit spoons under Bush, then Obama, then…

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  It’s Official: Liberals Hate Constitutional Government.

THE DEVIL SHALL NOT BE MOCKED:  George Soros – Trump Will Disappear.

LET THEM EAT CRUMBS:  Shutdown Chow Down, Crumbs and Swiss Cheese.

IT WOULD EXPLAIN MUCH:  Could getting rid of dairy be making you dumb?

CHANNELING BILLY IDOL: WITH A REBEL YELL SHE CRIED MOO, MOO, MOO!  Rebel cow escapes her farm to run free with bison crew.

THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY I WAS TOLD TO EXPECT:  These next-generation weapons will blast asteroids out of the sky.

THEY’RE NOT LISTENING STILL:  The Parable of the Man of Many New Words.

A RAINBOW DINOSAUR, REALLY?  This Week’s Strangest Science News.

THIS, RIGHT HERE, GENTLEMEN, IS FEMINISM FLYING OVER AN ARRAY OF 100 MASSED SHARKS:  Amazon’s Alexa Will No Longer Tolerate Sexist Abuse.

OBVIOUSLY SOME OF THE RUSSIAN DEFENSE PEOPLE RETIRED IN HAWAII:  On This Day: The Black Brandt Rocket Scare.

THIS JUST DOESN’T END WELL:  The Sad Decline of the FBI: You Read It Here First.

CURIOSER AND CURIOSER SAID ALICE:  Hawaiian Who Sent False Missile Alert Won’t Cooperate With Investigation.

I KNOW WHOM I’D BET ON:  In Davos, Trump Versus The Snooty Globalists.

AND SPEAKING OF FIGHTING THE CULTURE WAR, SOME WEAPONS:   The State and Revolution Pt. 1 – by Amanda S. Green.

MEANWHILE, AT THE LESS REPUTABLE OSCARS:  A story in The Hollywood Reporter offers a stinging critique of Academy Award voters.

IT’S A HARD JOB BUT SOMEBODY’S GOT TO DO IT:  Inside the ‘XXX Oscars’: How a panel of judges picks porn’s biggest winners.

QUITTING DRINKING IS EASY, I’VE DONE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES:   Heavy drinkers can’t quit booze even if they want to, study says.  (Of course, I’m not a heavy drinker.  But I’ve had similar issues with writing.  The longest I stayed quit was two weeks, at the end of which I had cleaned everything that stood still long enough, including boys and cats, and the entire family begged me to resume writing… and leave them alone.)

JUST BECAUSE JOBS ARE SUPERFICIALLY EQUIVALENT DOES NOT MEAN ALL JOBHOLDERS PERFORM EQUALLY – OR DID YOU NEVER HAVE A BAD TEACHER?  Why women should start talking about their salaries.

WAIT, WHAT?  Critics slam “12 Strong” — Jingoistic Film Treats Taliban Badly.  I say we heil, heil, right in der critics’ faces!

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Hot yoga is total hogwash.

IF YOU’RE OBSESSING ABOUT YOUR EARLOBES, YOU MIGHT NEED SOMETHING BETTER TO DO:  This hot beauty trend can give you younger-looking ears.

BECAUSE ALL TEENS ARE ALIKE AND DO THE SAME THINGS ONLINE. PFUI:  The exact amount of screen time teens can handle before they want to kill themselves.

JUST DON’T TRY CARRYING A TUBE OF IT THROUGH TSA CHECKPOINTS:  You should always wear sunscreen on airplanes.