I’M POSITIVE THERE ARE CRAZIER IDEAS.  I JUST CAN’T THINK OF ANY OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD:  Taxing the Internet to Stop Porn.

SO DO WE ALL, NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME CONCERNS AS THE FBI, MIND YOU:  The FBI Has “Grave Concerns”? So Do I.

OH, DEMS, WE’RE NOT LAUGHING WITH YOU:  From the Sublime to the Ridiculous.

IN THE EMAIL FROM LAURA MONTGOMERY:  Mercenary Calling.

Exoplanets. Terrorists. Lawyers…

Calvin Tondini has his first client, but he may be in over his head.

It’s the twenty-second century. Humanity’s first and only interstellar starship returns safely. Its mission to discover a habitable planet succeeded beyond all hopes, but there’s one problem. Captain Paolina Nigmatullin of the USS Aeneid left an unsanctioned human colony behind and now stands charged with mutiny.

Despite a somewhat spontaneous approach to his own career, life, and limb, Calvin intends to map a more cautious path for his new client. Captain Nigmatullin, however, shows an unnerving penchant for talk shows–appearing on them, that is–and otherwise ignoring her attorney’s sober counsel.

How can Calvin ensure his client’s freedom when death stalks the Aeneid‘s crew, and Nigmatullin herself hides secrets from everyone, even her lawyer?

FACE IT, BLAZE ORANGE DOESN’T REALLY LOOK GOOD ON ANYONE:  Lawmaker says female hunters prefer to feel pretty in pink.

HOLLYWOOD FINDS NEW WAYS TO ROLL LEFT:   ‘Guardians’ Director Plays Hitler Card 8 Times Vs. Trump.

IT’S OKAY, THE NFL HAS BEEN DOING THEIR BEST TO DISSUADE PEOPLE FROM TRAVELING TO WATCH THE GAME… OR REALLY FROM WATCHING THE GAME AT ALL:  The Super Bowl could turn into a giant petri dish of influenza.

I REMAIN CONFIDENT IN THE INGENUITY OF OUR AIRLINES:  Airlines are running out of ways to charge customers more.

WELL, SOME GOOD FALLOUTOF #METOO:  David Stras confirmed to Eighth Circuit.

BUT DOES ANYONE ELSE?  #SOTU: Democrats Love Dead Kennedys.

INTERESTING:  Trump administration yanks funding for “Climate-Related Fellowships”. So no tears dollars for fears?

BREATHE EASY:  Why 2017’s “Third Warmest Year on Record” is a Yawner.

ONLY IF YOU HAVE A VERY ODD DEFINITION OF POORER:  The Poor Get Poorer?

SUSCEPTIBILITY TO SOCIAL PRESSURE IS A TERRIBLE BURDEN:  Why women always want men they can’t have.

I’M DOWN WITH THE DARK CHOCOLATE AND RED WINE BUT SUGGEST GOING EASY ON THE GARLIC:  Eat these foods to give your sex drive a boost.

I FOR ONE WELCOME…   The key to surviving the forthcoming robot revolution.

NEWS YOU CAN USE:  Your dog could get the flu — here’s how to prevent it.

SECRET FLORIDA MAN!  Naked man high on meth: Sex made me crash my truck.

OR AT LEAST OF:  An Ideology to Die For.

LIFE PERSISTS IN IMITATING THE ONION:  Stranger Than Fiction.

WELL, LEFTISM IS JUST NEUROTIC NONSENSE:  Leftist Writer Says Patriotic War Movies are Just “Masculine Nonsense.”

MUCH SHOCKED.  SO MY FACE:  Hillary Clinton Shielded Top Adviser In Spite Of Sexual Harassment Claims.

NO.  PROBABLY NOT EVEN THEN:  You Can Have my Meat When You Pry It from My Cold, Dead Hands.

THIS IS THE DAUGHTER OF A FRIEND:  And she sings beautifully.

MISANDRY EN PARADE:  Duke’s ‘Men’s Project’ Seeks to ‘Destabilize Masculine Privilege’.