THAT AIN’T NO GOD:  The God that Failed…Over and Over Again.

UNFORTUNATELY TRUE, AND I’M GLAD I’M NO LONGER THE ONLY VOICE SHOUTING IN THE WILDERNESS:  We Fight Now or the Socialists Win.

AGAIN I MUST SAY: OH MY DEAR AND FLUFFY LORD!  Go Beto! [Updated Hilariously: “I Need a Butt Shine”]

OH, DEAR LORD:  Beto O’Rourke Is Running With Vanity Fair.

TO BE FAIR, I DOUBT SHE HAS ANY IDEA WHERE CHRISTCHURCH IS:  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Dunks On Prayer And The NRA In Response To Christchurch Tragedy.

SAME AS THE OLD PARTY LINE:  The New Party Line.

ST PATRICK RID US OF THESE SNAKES:  St. Patrick’s Day Meets Political Correctness.

DON’T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL:  How we speak was shaped by our ancestors giving up raw meat.

ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKED:  The colleges with the most ‘sugar babies’ in America.

BASEBALL GREAT LOU GEHRIG WAS A FRAT’S WAITER IN COLLEGE AND MANAGED TO OVERCOME THE TRAUMA:  Author shines light on what it’s like being poor on a rich campus.

WELL, THAT IS AWKWARD:  The latest opponent of the Green New Deal: The AFL-CIO.

THEY’RE BIG IN THE PARENTAL BRAGGING RIGHTS DEPARTMENT:  Are elite colleges really a ‘golden ticket’ to a successful life?

OH DEAR LORD:  Ariana Grande fans are not happy about her new Starbucks beverage.

NEWS YOU CAN USE.  I GUESS MINE “CUT SO SHORT THEY’RE BELONG THE FINGERTIP” MEAN “THIS WOMAN LIKES TO REFINISH FURNITURE. WHICH MEANS SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE DANGEROUS CHEMICALS”:  Bro decodes nail art to save guys from dating ‘crazy’ ladies.

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING!  (I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY. I DENOUNCE MYSELF):  Oral sex nearly killed woman due to allergy to partner’s penicillin.

LISTEN CAREFULLY, I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE… BUT YOU MUST BRING THE EGG WHISK AND THE FLYING HELMET:  This woman risked it all to run a secret WWII spy network.

APPARENTLY THIS SCIENCE ALSO ISN’T SETTLED:  Your genes may reduce the effectiveness of contraception: study.

WEEK? WEEK? IT’S WELL OVER A YEAR AND COUNTING:  Who Declared This To Be Crazy Week?

ACTIVISTS KEEP TRYING TO SUPPRESS SCIENCE AND I AM TIRED OF IT:  Chronic fatigue activists are trying to silence us: researchers.

BECAUSE SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED MALICE IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM STUPIDITY:  Two plus two: why did Ilhan Omar post an audio that disproved the claim she was trying to make?

OH DEAR LORD. THIS IS WHY BLONDS TELL OCCASIONAL CORTEX JOKES:  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Steps On Rakes When Questioning Wells Fargo CEO,

Seriously, she can’t be this stupid. No one can. She’d forget to breathe. This is a case of sufficiently advanced malice being indistinguishable from stupidity.

WHERE ARE THE HEADS ON PIKES? THERE SHOULD BE HEADS ON PIKES POUR ENCOURAGER LES AUTRES:  Lisa Page: DOJ told FBI not to charge Clinton.

YOU MEAN LIKE THOSE WHO FALSELY CLAIM MINORITY STATUS SO THEY CAN REACH WAY ABOVE THEIR ACADEMIC WEIGHT? THOSE SCAMMERS, LIZZY?  Pot Meet Kettle: Elizabeth Warren Has No Sympathy For College Scammers.

I SMELL SOME SMOLLETTING GOING ON:  Hijab Wearing Army Sergeant Screams Discrimination.

A LOT OF LOW-CARBERS USE THEM AS A SNACK:  You’ve GOT to be kidding… I Hope.