CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES:  Man who changed name to ‘Michael Jackson’ wants to change it back.

LAST CHANCE. SEE IT BEFORE IT SHRINKS… SAID THE BISHOP TO THE ACTRESS:  March 20 worm moon: How to see last supermoon of 2019 on spring equinox.

SHE ONLY FOUND OUT WHEN THEY DEMANDED PAYMENT TO KEEP STORING IT:  Woman sues hospital for storing frozen embryo without her knowledge.

AND YET THEY DO:  More than a third of New Yorkers say they can’t afford to live here.

THEY WELL SHOULD BE – THAT’S DISGUSTING:  Passengers shamed for drying bathing suits on airplane seats.

AND AGAIN I SAY UNTO THEE… WAIT, WHAT?  Scientists Played Music to Cheese as It Aged. Hip-Hop Produced the Funkiest Flavor.

THE… WAIT, WHAT?  Lacking crowds to protest Tucker Carlson, the left compensates by dressing up as bananas.

AH!  Malia, Michelle, Barack and the College Admissions Scandal.

AND WHAT A WEEK IT WAS:  The Week That Was.

OH, DEAR LORD:  Ilhan Omar Spins Platitudes In WaPo Editorial.

VESTIGIAL SANITY IN NYC:  Poll: 38 percent say Ocasio-Cortez ‘villain’ in New York losing Amazon HQ deal.

SIGH. TO BE FAIR, THE FACT THAT WE AS A CULTURE ARE HAVING WAY FEWER CHILDREN MEANS WE’RE PUTTING WAY MORE PRESSURE ON EACH OF THEM:  Millennials Feel So Pressured and They Can’t Even.

NO. IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION?  Is it any wonder no one trusts the media?

I HAD BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED THAT THE SCIENCE ON PLATE TECTONICS IS SETTLED:   Scientists make ‘impossible’ discovery off coast of Africa.

WEIRDLY, IT’S NOT QUITTING!  This simple act can make your coworkers happier and healthier. … okay, in some cases, maybe.

A POLISH BARBER? BETWEEN THIS AND SWEENEY TODD BARBERS COULD GET A BAD REPUTATION:  DNA research may finally unravel Jack the Ripper mystery.

PRECISELY THAT:  The Boy Who Inflated the Concept of ‘Wolf’.

THERE’S A LOT OF THIS ALL OVER:  Religion should look like and act like religion — or why bother? *UPDATED*.

EXPECT COMPLAINTS OF RISING POPULATION PROBLEMS:  President Trump Saves Thousands of Lives.

OF COURSE IT DOES: Congress Wants a Pay Raise.

AT THIS POINT WE SHOULD START REPORTING ONLY DEMOCRATS WHO HAVEN’T ENTERED THE RACE:  Brave Kirsten Gillibrand Enters Democrat Presidential Race.

OR OUR WANTS. OR ANYTHING RELATING TO “OUR OWN GOOD”:  Dear Democrats – You are not Qualified to Arbitrate Our Needs.

OKAY THEN: Space in 2019 will be all about the moon, and one weird asteroid.

YEAH, THAT MESS:  Christchurch.

THE… WHAT?  Psychedelic Warlord O’Rourke.