NO SUCH MAGICAL APPARATUS EXISTS! New Hearing Aid Allows Liberals to Hear Arguments for Concealed Carry.  (If IMAO.us were a paper they would rival the Babylon Bee as America’s paper of record, but this post is a triumph of hope over reality ;) )

IT’S THICK:  Clearing the Fog.

ARE YOU SURE? I THOUGHT IT WAS SANTA CLAUS:  Bernie Sanders to Model “Medicare for All” on Successful Easter Bunny Egg Program.

NEWSFLASH: BEING A BOY IS DIFFICULT:  ‘The Heart of a Boy’ is a beautiful celebration of boyhood.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  ‘The Silence’ Casts Christians as the Real Monsters.

ONLY IN SANCTUARY CITIES:  “Spartacus” Booker Says Moving Illegals To Sanctuary Cities Makes Us ‘Less Safe’.

NUMMY, NUMMY HATE CHICKEN:  Chick-fil-a’s “Hate Chicken” Strikes Again.

NO, THEY JUST WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA:  Democrats Have No Interest In Illegal Aliens.

MOVIES WORTH SEEING ARE RARE THESE DAYS. MAYBE THEY ALWAYS WERE:  Movie Considerations & The Highwaymen.

BY THEIR FRUITS, THOU SHALT KNOW THEM: Ilhan Omar and the victimhood competition.

THOSE WITH AN UNEASY CONSCIENCE ALWAYS FEAR THE KNOCK ON THE DOOR:  At what Democrats thought would be their time of triumph, instead they fear a day of reckoning may come.

ENVY. IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO?  Millionaire Bernie Sanders Denounces Greedy “Billionaires and Trillionaires”.

SEACITIES? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? ONLY A CRAZY PERSON WOULD IMAGINE SUCH THINGS:  Futuristic, floating city can withstand Category 5 hurricanes.  (Why, yes, this was sent to me by one of my fans. ;) )

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE. BEHOLD HOW SHOCKED IT IS!  Ken Starr shielded Hillary Clinton in report on Vince Foster’s death.

HECK, SHE’S BRINGING IN AN EXCAVATOR:  Ilhan Omar Keeps Digging Hole on 9/11 Remark.

Ilhan Omar, or THE reason we need to reexamine our immigration and citizenship program. We already have enough home grown haters of all American stands for. Why import fresh ones?

LOOK, TRUMP IS DOING THE MEDIA A FAVOR. HE RAISES THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE, WHICH CAUSES THE SAME EFFECT AS SUSTAINED EXERCISE.  PRACTICALLY THERAPEUTIC. … FOR THE REST OF US THERE IS SCHADENFREUDE. (THE FACT HE’S CALLING ATTENTION TO THE UTTERLY REPULSIVE DEATH CULT THE LEFT HAS BECOME IS JUST AN ADDITIONAL BIT OF GOOD.) EAT IT WITH A SPOON:  White House To Screen Gosnell Movie Today And The Media Throws A Fit.

WELL, CERTAINLY THOSE OF US WHO DISAPPROVE OF SANCTUARY CITIES WHILE LIVING IN THEM DON’T WANT THIS. BUT WE’RE A LITTLE SHOCKED AT OUR NEIGHBORS.  BOY, DOES TRUMP HAVE YOUR NUMBER, GUYS. NO WONDER YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH:  NIMBY! Sanctuary Cities Don’t Want Illegal Immigrants.

AND YET REALITY STILL WON’T GO AWAY:  The End of women’s sports if the Dems get their way.

FROM AMANDA S. GREEN:  Nocturnal Revelation.

As a cop, Mackenzie Santos knows every shift might be her last. That was driven home two years ago when Samuel Wilcox came much too close to killing her. She still had nightmares of waking in the morgue. But that was nothing compared to leaning she is descended from one of the oldest and most powerful shapeshifter bloodlines. Until the night she “died”, she always believed shapeshifters and werewolves were the thing of bad Hollywood movies.

Now she knows differently. Monsters really do walk among us. Some are human. Some are shifter. . . And one wants her dead.

Worse, so much worse, whoever it is wants to reveal the existence of shapeshifters to the humans. He–or she–doesn’t care about the consequences. Somehow Mac and those who know her secret must discover who their enemy is and stop them before it is too late. But can Mac do that and stay alive?

AMERICA’S PAPER OF RECORD!  Bernie Sanders Spends Relaxing Afternoon At Target Ranting At Wide Selection Of Deodorants.

STARTING YOUNG:  Meet the Youngest Actor on IMDB … Ever.

GOOD FOR HIM:  FCC Commissioner Carr Pushes Back On Zuckerberg’s Call To Censor The Internet.

THAT’S BIZARRE. NOW WITH TASTES, SURE (SAYS SHE WHO ONCE BAFFLED HUSBAND BY DISCUSSING WITH SON HOW THE SAUCE WAS TOO DARK RED (IT WAS BROWN, IN COLOR) AND HOW TO INTRODUCE A PINK TOUCH WITH SOME ONION.):  Associating Colors With Vowels? Most Do!

BECAUSE THEIR ONLY CHANCE OF WINNING IN 2020 IS CALVINBALL. THEY SHOULD PERHAPS REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE FAR WORSE THINGS THAN LOSING ELECTIONS:  Why Democrats Are Messing with Voting Rights.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  NY Democrats Ignore Omar’s 9/11 Comment.