OH, DEAR LORD:  Mayor Pete Will Make You Bake the Cake .

DOES THIS INVOLVE US TAKING THE BETO DONATION AND SELLING HIM AT HALF OFF AT THE NATIONAL THRIFT STORE ON SALE SATURDAY?  Beto Says Running For President Is A Charitable Donation.

SPEAKING OF RED FLAGS, BOY THEY DO WAVE:  Sol Pais, the FBI and Columbine.

FLORIDA BIRD! Speaking of dinosaurs in Florida.

BECAUSE THEY NEED MORE YELLOW JACKETS. OR THEY’RE GOING TO GET THEM, ANYWAY:  Did you know: Why leaving your car engine running in France could land you in trouble.

OF COURSE THEY DO. THESE ARE NOT EASILY BULLIED SENIORS:  Media Freaks Over Seniors Not Locking Up Their Guns.

IT NEVER OCCURS TO HIM THE REST OF US FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT HIS TAX-FUELED “UTOPIA”?  Bernie Sanders tells Fox News town hall that he won’t pay his ‘fair share’ in taxes unless he is forced to.

THIS SURE IS MY SHOCKED FACE: So the Russians wanted Bernie Sanders elected president in 2016 all along…

CAN THIS SOCIALIST FOSSIL SHAMBLE OFF TO THE TRASH HEAP OF HISTORY ALREADY?  7 Takeaways from Fox’s Bernie Sanders Town Hall.

SO DO A LOT OF TEACHERS IN OUR SCHOOLS:  Julian Assange Hates Americans. Yes I Said It.

LET’S KEEP REMINDING EVERYONE YOU CAN’T PROVE A NEGATIVE:  Anticipating the Mueller report.

WE ALL SHOULD WORRY ABOUT SANDERS. WELL, THOSE OF US WHO DON’T FIND VENEZUELA A MODEL TO FOLLOW:  Establishment Dems freak out over Sanders.

THE LEFT AND LANGUAGE:  Communication Disorders.

WHEN YOU’RE A SELF-EMPLOYED CONTRACTOR, YOU OFTEN FEEL LIKE THIS AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR:

THEY’RE HIDEOUS IDES:  The Ides of April.

REALLY? I AIM TO MISBEHAVE:  Dems Insist Criticism Is Violence, and Also Violence Is Good.

I SUPPORT THIS. JUST THE MONTHS OF LIFE THEY STEAL FROM ANY SMALL BUSINESS OWNER WHO HAS TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING AND COMB THROUGH EVERYTHING? GETTING RID OF IT WOULD CAUSE A SUDDEN LEAP IN PRODUCTION. OR PERHAPS IN HAPPINESS: Abolish the Income Tax, Abolish the IRS.

IT IS AN OPEN SECRET THE NYT LIST IS CURATED. AT ONE TIME ONE OF THEIR BESTSELLERS WAS FOUND TO HAVE SOLD LESS THAN FIVE THOUSAND BOOKS:  Valerie Jarrett Accused of Manipulating Book Sales to Get On NYT Bestseller List.

OH, DEAR LORD:  London Protesters Glue Themselves to Things to Raise Awareness About Climate Change.

THIS IS MY SO VERY SHOCKED FACE:  Is Russiagate worse than Watergate?

IN TODAY’S EDITION OF INSTAPUNDIT’S FINANCIAL ADVISORY, WE WANT TO REMIND OUR READERS TO BUY POPCORN STOCKS. LOTS OF POPCORN STOCKS:  Democrats Take Aim At Themselves.

LOOK, ONE THING IS TRUE: HE KNOWS THEM. HE KNOWS THEM INTIMATELY AND DEVASTATINGLY AS ONLY SOMEONE WHO EITHER STEALTHED AMONG THEM OR WAS ONE OF THEM FOR YEARS CAN. IT WOULD BE LIKE ME DOING/SAYING THINGS TO DRIVE THE LEFT IN SCIENCE FICTION NUTS. I KNOW THEIR BUTTONS. (I JUST DON’T CARE ENOUGH TO PUSH THEM MOST OF THE TIME.) DONALD TRUMP IS THE TROLL WE NEEDED:  Trump Puts Democrats Between A Rock And A Hard Place On Illegal Immigration.

EVEN EUROPE — AT LEST THE PARTS I’VE BEEN TOO RECENTLY — DOESN’T HAVE ARMED GUARDS AT MCDONALD’S. WHAT’S CALIFORNIA, NOW? SOMALIA?  Naked man with knife shot by armed guard…at McDonald’s.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUES WITH WHATEVER ADULTS WANT TO DO TO THEIR OWN BODIES. I HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS ABOUT IT, BUT AS LONG AS THEY’RE NOT COERCED OR DOING THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE, IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.  BUT I TOO AM TIRED OF THE ONGOING RAPE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. NO MEANS NO, AND SOME OF US ARE SCREAMING “NO” LOUD ENOUGH FOR THE ENTIRE CULTURE:  Reclaiming our language from transgender activists.

IT WILL STILL TAKE UNTOLD TIME AND RESOURCES TO FIX:  Notre Dame Survives, Mostly.