THOSE AREN’T ASYLUM SEEKERS. WE HAVE CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE THEY’RE IN FACT INVADERS, RECRUITED BY THE FORCES OF INTERNATIONAL SOCIALISM:  No Crisis: Asylum Seekers Overwhelming Border Patrol Resources.  Let’s use the truthful designations, shall we? Letting the left subvert the language is giving up the battle before we engage it.

BUT THEY ONLY WANTED TO KNOW IF TRUMP WEIGHED AS MUCH AS A DUCK!  Mueller Report Spinning Up Trump Derangement Syndrome.

BUT I WAS ASSURED THE SCIENCE WAS SETTLED!  Melting Greenland glacier appears to be growing again.

OKAY, BUT WHY????  New scented ink turns body art into ‘visual fragrance’.

Sorry, but the permanence of the alteration makes it a no sale to me…

OUR COCKTAIL THIS WEEKEND IS THE MUELLER REPORT:  It costs millions to make, takes two years to be served. Rumors and expectations about it are stoked to fever pitch. Arrives as an empty glass.  Every news source claims it’s the finest Russian Vodka. Rachel Maddow most affected.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BOYS ARE NOT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMALS.  TEACH WOMEN NOT TO TREAT MALES AS OBJECTS:  Woman had sex with teen while boyfriend was in jail to counter depression: cops.

I DON’T THINK PREGNANCIES WORK THAT WAY, EVEN FOR TWINS:  Twins married to another set of twins plan to synchronize pregnancies.

THAT’S DIFFERENT BECAUSE SHUDDUP:  Vegan YouTube star accidentally exposes herself as a fraud.

OF COURSE OCCASIONAL CORTEX OH, PARDON ME, OCCASIONAL CORTEX FULL STOP (WELL SHE DID SAY THAT’S WHAT HER NAME IS. FROM NOW ON AND FOREVER, SHE’LL BE REPRESENTATIVE FULL STOP TO ME.  AND PLEASE LET’S STOP. BECAUSE WE CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE LIKE HER.) NEVER HAD A MIND TO LOSE:  After AOC Chases Amazon Jobs Away, Some New Yorkers Begin to Understand Socialism.

SERIOUSLY, THEY’VE LOST THEIR MINDS:  New Zealand Bookstore Disappears From Facebook, Twitter After Banning Jordan Peterson Book.

IN A SIGN OF HOW THE LEFT IS NOW COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF THINKING, THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF DISTINGUISHING THEIR PROCLAIMED ENEMIES FROM EACH OTHER. AND ALL OF US ARE SUDDENLY WHITE SUPREMACIST. INCLUDING PEOPLE WHO AREN’T WHITE. DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT’S GOING TO BE TO APPLY CULT DEPROGRAMMING TO THAT MANY PEOPLE:  University in the UK Cancels Jordan Peterson’s Visiting Fellowship for Not Being Inclusive.

ONE OF THOSE BORING NOVELS WHERE NOTHING HAPPENS AND THE AUTHOR CONTINUOUSLY PREACHES HIS POV. YOU’RE BORED REGRETFUL ABOUT THE MONEY SPENT AND YET ALL OF THE INTELLIGENTSIA TELLS YOU THAT YOU’RE EXPECTED TO THINK IT’S SOMEHOW DEEPLY SIGNIFICANT:  End of the Mueller affair.

OH DEAR LORD:  United Airlines Goes Wheels-Up Woke.

AGAIN, I SAY IF THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT A CANDIDATE TO YOU IS HIS/HER SKIN COLOR OR WHAT IS BETWEEN HIS/HER LEGS, YOU SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED FROM VOTING FOR REASON OF IMMATURITY. YOU MIGHT NEVER BE MATURE ENOUGH, THOUGH WITH TIME, EFFORT AND PERHAPS THERAPY YOU MIGHT COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT POLITICS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH GENETICS, NOR EVEN WITH WHOM ONE SLEEPS WITH, AND THAT IN DECISIONS RELATING TO THE BODY POLITIC ONE IS SUPPOSED TO USE THIS THING CALLED LOGIC. START BY LOOKING IT UP, BUTTERCUP:  Shrill Fat Woman Shouts Her Abortion on Hulu.

MENTAL ILLNESS AS ENTERTAINMENT AND POLITICS:  Shrill Fat Woman Shouts Her Abortion on Hulu.

THEY REALLY ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE:  The Yellow Jackets Revolt and The Future of America.

AND THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Omar Holding Secret Fundraisers With Islamic Groups Tied to Terror.

THE ONLY SHOCKED FACE IN THE ROOM WOULD BE OBAMA’S. OR PERHAPS THAT WAS HIS INTENDED RESULT ALL ALONG:  Iran Stands Ready to Restart Nuclear Weapons Program.

OH, LORD. HEAVILY LEFTY AREAS ARE GOING TO SELL OUT OF COLORING BOOKS AND STUFFED TOYS TOMORROW, FOR ALL THE SAFE SPACES THAT ARE GOING TO BE NEEDED:  Report: Mueller not recommending any more indictments.

STOCK UP ON POPCORN AND YELLOW SAFETY VESTS:  Gold Plated Brexit.

BECAUSE DEMS ARE SCORPIONS. IT’S IN THEIR NATURE:  Trump Supports Golan Heights While Democrat Candidates Diss AIPAC.

RETRO ENTERTAINMENT:  TV Break – DANGER UXB.

HE’S A KOALA, NOT A DOPE:  ‘Feisty’ koala refuses to leave air-conditioned car.

AND OUR LITTLE LIFE IS ROUNDED WITH A SLEEP:  We spend nearly half of our lifetime lying around in bed.

ALSO STUPID. IF YOU ARE THAT TRIGGERED BY WORDS, YOU NEED REAL HELP, NOT TRIGGER WARNINGS:  Online trigger warnings are useless, researchers say.