LIKE A LANDED FISH: Madam Speaker Flips and Flops on Impeachment.

LET’S FORGET EVERYTHING BUT MERIT. JUST MERIT:  SAT ‘Adversity Score’ Will Discriminate More, Not Less.

WATCH THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF MY SHOCKED FACE:  Avenatti Indicted, Accused Of Stealing Stormy’s Money.

WAS?  Comey Was a Commie? 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TROUBLES WRITERS FOR THE BABYLON BEE? THEY LAY AWAKE NIGHTS, WORRIED THAT THEIR HILARIOUS HEADLINE WILL BE TRUE BEFORE IT APPEARS ON THE WEBSITE:  Amid Criticism That He’s Too White, Biden Insists He Has A Black Friend.

I don’t envy them!

I DON’T KNOW WHY SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE SO INTERESTED IN GETTING TO WHERE FALLING FROM WOULD KILL THEM BUT THERE IT IS:  Armstrong Starters and Other Old Things.

THEY HAVE NOTHING BUT A CULT LIKE LOYALTY TO THE DREAM THAT FAILED:  Universities now requiring loyalty oaths taken to ‘diversity’.

AS BAD AS THE CORRESPONDENT’S REPORTAGE:  How bad was that White House Correspondents Dinner Trump refused to attend?

HAVING FOUND A CACHE OF THE EXTREMELY GULLIBLE:  Campaign Violation: AOC Dupes Green New Deal ‘Fun Run’ Participants.

I HAVE A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS NO NOOK SNEK!  (I HAVE NO CLUE WHO SENT IT TO ME. I HAVE TO LEARN NOT TO SEE SOMETHING SOMEONE POSTED AND SAY “OOOH. I WANT ONE.” IT LEADS TO THE STRANGEST COLLECTION OF GIFTS EVER, RANGING FROM T-SHIRTS TO NERF GUNS.): Swalwell to America: We Will Disarm You; America: *Raises Middle Finger Salute*.

Also: Molon labe. These are my middle fingers.  Behold a matched pair.

AND AGAIN WITH THE SHOCKED FACE, SHOCKED:  Historian Ron Chernow Gets Jefferson And Hamilton History Wrong At #WHCD.

DOES ANYONE HERE CARE WHAT THE DEMS SAY?  Democrats Say Trump Not Allowed To Discuss Ralph Northam’s Infanticide Advocacy.

OH, WOW. WHO’D HAVE THUNK IT? MY FACE, LOOK HOW SHOCKED IT IS:  “Green” Energy Policies Hurt the Environment, Another Case Study.

THAT’S A MIGHTY FUNNY WAY TO SPELL “CREEPY”:  Is Joe Biden too “kind” to be president?

YEAH. WE ALSO SEE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES: The Right Does See Structure: Responding to G. Watts.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO APPROVE TO UNDERSTAND:  Man shouting ‘Avengers: Endgame’ spoilers gets beating from furious fans.

THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART. THE WORST PART IS THAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SELL IT TO THE GUY IN A PASTIC-HORNS-HEADBAND HOLDING UP AN ADVERTISEMENT OUTSIDE THE STEAKHOUSE: We’d Let You Have It if You Didn’t Keep Trying to Sell It.  Even the damned shouldn’t be that stupid.

COULD BE WORSE. THEY COULD BE INORGANIC:  Wild, Safe, non-Organic Greens.

NOT ME. I WAS IGNORING HER:  We Were All Rooting For You, Taylor.

WHOEVER WISHED WE LIVED IN INTERESTING TIMES, SURE BROUGHT ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE!  And then they came for the Christians and the white people.

OINK, THE ATTENTION HOGG SAID:  NRA Convention: David Hogg Waxes Philosophic-Again and Again.

NO. GIVEN THAT IT’S BECOME A FAD, IT UNDERMINES WHAT IT MEANS TO BE SANE:  Transgender Admissions To All-Male, Historically Black College Undermine What It Means To Be A Black Man.

JAR-JAR-BRAIN HAS A CRAZY STAND ON EVERYTHING.  NO, SERIOUSLY. IF HE WEREN’T GAY HE’D BE OCCASIONAL CORTEX’S DREAM MATCH:  Colorado Governor Jared Polis’s Unhealthy Stance On Vaccinations.

It’s just part of his program to bring famine, death and plague to my State.  If he doesn’t manage war it will be through no fault of his own.  The horsemen. Collect All Four.

OH, DEAR LORD:  Dark Money Leftist Group Runs Facebook Ads Targeting Kavanaugh.

NAH, I THINK HE JUST REALIZED HE WAS ABOUT TO HOIST HIS OWN SIDE ON HIS PETARD:  Did Mueller jump or was he pushed?