SPEAKING OF INDIE BOOK PUBLISHING: I’ve actually read this one. If you or someone you love like traditional regency romances — think Georgette Heyer — this one is good.  FROM BLAKE SMITH:  A Small and Inconvenient Disaster.

Everywhere she goes, Maria Mason is plagued by little catastrophes. Getting caught in the rain, running from the friendliness of a muddy dog, tripping over her own feet at the worst possible moment- she has been subject to all manner of accidents, and to fend off the worst of them, she has learned to be silent and still.

Until she accompanies her friend Miss Gordon to London for a season of gaiety and pleasure. Life in Town is full of wonder, and soon Maria has new clothes, new friends, and the attention of the amusing and clever Mr. James Callahan. She begins to wonder if she has outgrown her propensity for falling into disaster, only to find herself embroiled in the worst sort of catastrophe when she is obliged to mediate between her feuding friends. One wrong word, one false step, and she might lose the regard of her friends- or worse, the love of a good man.

ADVENTURES IN INDIE BOOK PUBLISHING:  Training Wheels.

MEH, IN PORTUGAL (UNLESS THE EU PASTEURIZED THAT TOO) THERE IS STILL A VILLAGE DEDICATED TO MAKING VARIOUS PHALLIC THINGS. THEY USED TO BE A CENTER OF THE CULT OF PRIAPUS:  Mystery penis statue found buried at ‘ancient animal sacrifice site used for fertility rituals’.

Oh, sorry.  Sorry. What am I thinking. That should be “Reeeee! Patriarchy!”

DON’T WRAP YOUR FISH IN THE NEW YORK TIMES. IT WILL BE CONTAMINATED:  Reporters haven’t kept their story straight about Brett Kavanaugh asking them to lie.

OH, DEAR LORD:  Hollywood’s latest obsession is aging action stars.

OH, NO, TRUMP ADMITS TO COMMON HUMANITY!  Trump says he keeps cash on hand so he can leave tips.

SHE’S LIKE A HORROR MOVIE VILLAIN, WHO JUST WON’T STAY GONE: Hillary Clinton: How to Lose 2020.   Still working indefatigably (and without realizing it) for the Donald Trump campaign, too.

CLIMATE IS NOT MY GOD.  IT’S NOT SENTIENT. I CAN’T SIN AGAINST IT. I HOIST MY MIDDLE FINGERS UP AT ANYONE WHO DEMANDS THIS KIND OF INSANITY. VERY NO. MUCH F*CK THEM. THEY’RE THE ONES COMMITTING CLIMATE SINS. SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD A PLANT IS LABORING MIGHTILY TO PRODUCE OXYGEN FOR THESE LACK-BRAINS. THEY SHOULD FIND IT AND APOLOGIZE TO IT:  Confess Your Climate Change Bad Self!

FROM THE WOKE RANKS OF “IT’S ALL RIGHT WHEN WE DO IT BECAUSE OUR HEARTS ARE PURE”:  Trudeau is Another Woke Member of Team Face Paint.

THIS TYPE OF THINKING ALWAYS ENDS IN CATTLE CARS:  Andrew Yang’s Climate Change Solution: Eliminate Cattle And Cars.

Also, I have a climate-change solution. It’s climate. It changes. Stop yapping about it.

THOSE OF US WHO LIVED IN EUROPE DURING THE COLD WAR ARE RIGHT NOW THINKING THAT NO, THE SITUATION ISN’T CONTROLLED; THIS IS A LOT WORSE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, AND NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE WHAT PRECAUTIONS YOU CAN: 

NEED TO BE ACQUAINTED WITH A COMPLETE SET OF MIDDLE FINGERS:  Those Who Demand Obedience.

LEFTISTS EXPLOIT DISABLED CHILD BECAUSE ORANGE MAN BAD.  HEY I’M JUST GLAD THEY’RE NOT PUTTING THESE KIDS IN SUICIDE VESTS:  Guardian Suggests UN is Boosting Greta Thunberg to Undermine President Trump’s Climate Policy.

I’M STARTING TO THINK THEY KNOW VERY WELL ALL THEIR LIES AND CONS:  How you can tell that Proggies know transgenderism is a con.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SURPRISING?  Waiting In Juarez: How Trump’s ‘Remain in Mexico’ Program Could Ruin The Smugglers’ Trade.

NO. NOT THAN I THOUGHT:  Google and Its Pals Are Worse than Anyone Thought.

TOP TIER OF WHAT, PRECISELY?  Poll: ‘Top-Tier’ Harris Trailing Yang in Home State of California.

WELL, IF HE OPENS THE BORDERS…  Biden: Child Tax Credit Will ‘Put 720 Million Women Back in the Workforce’.

AT WAR WITH REALITY:   Joy Reid: ‘White Christian Men’ Would Use Apartheid to Keep Power .

WELL, WHEN I LIVED IN PORTUGAL, WE ALWAYS LAUGHED AT SPANIARDS… Spain builds submarine 70 tons too heavy after putting a decimal in the wrong place.

BUT HEY, THEY’LL ALWAYS HAVE POOP!   NY Times Completes Its Long Journey Down the Toilet With ‘Women Poop’ Article.

To paraphrase Richard Bledsoe, what is with these people and caca?

I REALLY DIDN’T THINK THAT THE PAPER OF WALTER DURANTY COULD FALL ANY FURTHER:  NYT Writers Shift Blame For Kavanaugh Fail.

OH, DEAR LORD:  DC = DemocRat Comics.

IF YOU SHOW THIS ARTICLE TO BERNIE AND OCCASIONAL CORTEX, DO THEY EXPLODE?  Capital and Delayed Gratification.

NOW, I KNOW ELECTRONIC PUBLICATIONS DON’T NEED TO HAVE CERTAIN NUMBERS OF COLUMN INCHES, BUT HOW MUCH CAN YOU WRITE, WHEN THE ANSWER IS “EVERYTHING?”  What the 1619 Project Gets Wrong about Slavery and Economics.