NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG: Signature Bank fails, closed by regulators.

But: SVB, Signature Bank Depositors to Get All Their Money as Fed Moves to Stem Crisis. “Officials took the extraordinary step of designating SVB and Signature Bank as a systemic risk to the financial system, which gives regulators flexibility to guarantee uninsured deposits. Officials said that depositors at SVB will have access to all of their money on Monday.”

UPDATE: In the comments, people point out that SVB is a techbro bank, and they’re Dem donors, while Signature has Barney Frank on its board. You people are so cynical.

And, also from the comments: “The government spent all weekend so they could bail out rich politically connected investors. Compare this to East Palestine Ohio where it took the government 3 weeks to even pretend to give a damn. Seriously the government worked over a weekend to just help out rich tech investors. Contrast that with 3 weeks before the feds did anything to even pretend to help out a community dealing with a massive chemical spill.”

Well, to be fair, those were deplorables.

OPEN THREAD: On your marks, get set, comment!

THE NEW SPACE RACE: Space Force allocates three historic Cape Canaveral launch pads to four companies.

IT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING: Unprecedented Wonder: Tropical Cyclone Freddy’s Record-Breaking Month-Long Journey Across the Indian Ocean.

I’m sure this is somehow because of “climate change.” John Barnes, call your office.

HMM. Prostate cancer treatment can wait for most men, study finds.

DeSANTIS GETS BRAGGING RIGHTS:  I haven’t made it a secret that I am a fan of Governor DeSantis.  Last September, I worried that he would be unfairly blamed for whatever damage Hurricane Ian was able to inflict on the Sunshine State.  (As you will recall, the mainstream media was weirdly successful in convincing the country that Bush was to blame for Hurricane Katrina, and far too many Americans bought the story that Trump was to blame for Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico).   Fortunately, DeSantis has been able to point out how successful he was in dealing with Ian (most recently in his State of the State address a few days ago).  Purr.

HMM. MEN ARE TALLER AND SO FALL FARTHER WHEN THEY GO DOWN? Men more likely than women to suffer skull fractures in a fall. Or do the falls occur after the words “Hold my beer?”

CIVIL RIGHTS UPDATE: Florida GOP bill would restore young adults’ constitutional rights. “After the tragic Parkland mass shooting in 2018, Florida lawmakers raised the age to purchase a long gun in Florida to 21. You already have to be 21 to buy a handgun, so this almost entirely removes 18-20 year-olds’ ability to buy a gun for self-defense. Now, some Republican lawmakers are now fighting to roll back that change and restore young Floridians constitutional rights. A group just introduced the Minimum Age for Firearm Purchase or Transfer Act, which would lower the age to purchase a firearm in Florida back down to 18…This push deserves widespread support. Depriving 18, 19, and 20-year-old adults of their constitutional right to self-defense was always an immoral restriction that did not actually make us any safer.”

WHAT HAPPENED ON JANUARY 6th? Roger Kimball is interviewed in a new podcast the London Spectator’s Freddy Gray.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO RAPE! (CONT’D): Oklahoma cheerleader coach who had sex with student 300 times was ‘manipulative and controlling’: cops. “Jennifer Hawkins allegedly told a student in 2017, ‘You’ll never forget this,’ before first sexual interaction while he watched soccer game. . . . Hawkins was arrested and charged with second-degree rape and sexual battery.”

READER FAVORITE: GTHUNDER Digital Night Vision Goggles Binoculars for Total Darkness. #CommissionEarned

IS THIS A SMART DECISION, OR IS IT LEHMAN BROTHERS ALL OVER AGAIN? No Bailout For Collapsed Silicon Valley Bank, Yellen Says.

ARE THERE AMPS IN THE CAR? YES THERE’S AMPS IN THE CAR: You Should Probably Charge Your EV Before Using It As a Robbery Getaway Car.

ETHICISTS GENERALLY HAVE LITTLE TO OFFER, AND THAT INCLUDES ASTROPHYSICISTS ACTING AS ETHICISTS: Are we ethically ready to set up shop in space? I mean, there are red flags here: “Nesvold is an astrophysicist. She worked at NASA; she can easily run the equations to calculate how much fuel we need to get people, life support, and mining equipment to Mars. But at some point, she realized that was the easy part. Her extensive education had not trained her to do what she was really interested in: building a just, equitable, sustainable, and lasting human society in space.”

UPDATE: In the comments, a reader suggests that I’m being excessively snide here and judging Nesvold based on language in the report, not on her own work. That’s a fair criticism, and I’ll try to take a look at her actual book.

ANOTHER UPDATE: This, from the book description on Amazon, doesn’t sound promising, though: “Any such venture, Nesvold contends, must be made on behalf of all humanity, with global input and collaboration. Off-Earth thus includes historical and contemporary examples from outside the dominant Western/US, abled, and privileged narrative of the space industry. Nesvold calls on experts in ethics, sociology, history, social justice, and law to launch a hopeful conversation about the potential ethical pitfalls of becoming a multi-planet species—and, ideally, to shed light on similar problems we presently face here on Earth.”

SCIENCE, UNSETTLED: New study challenges our understanding of the immune system.

EVERYTHING IS GOING SWIMMINGLY: Staffing shortage in healthcare affecting more Americans.

I TRULY DO LIVE IN THE CENTER OF THE CULINARY UNIVERSE: Taco Bell Introduces New Menu Item Available Only in Knoxville. If you want a “Chicken Crispanada,” you’ll just have to come here.

DEAL OF THE DAY: Walker’s Razor Slim Shooting Hunting Hearing Protection Electronic Earmuffs. #CommissionEarned

NOBODY CARES. THEY’RE DEPLORABLES. Salena Zito: In Beaver County, anx­i­ety and un­cer­tainty un­der the black cloud of a rail di­sas­ter.

Well, nobody in the current administration and in the media — but I repeat myself — cares, anyway.

THE WAR ON HISTORY: A Law School’s ‘Denaming’ Evokes Donor Family’s Ire.

GET IN SHAPE: Sportsroyals Stair Stepper with Resistance Bands. #CommissionEarned

ANALYSIS: TRUE. Colleges need to teach students how to listen, debate: university president.

SPACE: SpaceX Dragon capsule splashes down with Crew-5 astronauts after 157 days in space.

WHOM THE GODS WOULD DESTROY, THEY FIRST MAKE INSANE: Colleges throw out Women’s History Month, celebrate ‘Womxn’ instead.

YES: The Department of Homeland Security Just Turned 20: It’s Time to Abolish It.