AT AMAZON, bestsellers in Home and Garden.

Plus, deals in Tools and Hardware.

THE CONSOLATION OF DOUCHEBAGGERY: Samatha Bee, self-consolation, and the smug liberal problem.

I was going to add a “Bee-thius” joke here, but some of you are down on my obscure references, so never mind.

Plus, an NYT flashback: “Ha ha ha. That’s a very funny sentence now. If Trump if he were somewhat less volatile and bigoted and gross, just think: He might be President now.”

I’VE BEEN A FAN OF HERS FOR A WHILE NOW: Women gun owners, this young conservative is fighting for your right to defend yourselves on college campuses.

STACY MCCAIN: The Sexual Psychology of Winning: Do pickup artists know more about women than feminists do? Well, their approach is relentlessly empirical.

BECAUSE THEY’RE LEFTY TOOLS, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AT THESE “PEOPLE’S MARCHES.” NEXT QUESTION? Why Latinos March For Climate. Also, Hispanic Federation President Jose Calderon should be ashamed for using the sexist word “Latinos,” when everyone knows the correct gender-neutral term is Latinx.

AT AMAZON, Bestsellers in Grocery and Gourmet Food.

Plus, deals on Musical Instruments and Gear.

I THINK THAT INCREASING THEIR ANGUISH IS GOOD: Yale’s College Republicans Hold BBQ Near A Hunger Strike to Increase Protesters’ Anguish.

WHY ARE PUBLIC SCHOOLS SUCH CESSPITS OF TOXICITY? Most New York City Schools Had High Lead Levels, Retests Find. I love how they cheated on the tests the first time around. And yet we’re told it’s only greedy businesses that do that sort of thing.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How to Know Whether You are a Real Person or a Simulation.

I REMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE WERE PREDICTING THAT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WOULD GO THE WAY OF THE WHIGS: Exit the Dems, Stage Left:

This week the Draft Bernie for a People’s Party got a rather high-profile devotee in Harvard professor Cornel West, who used an op-ed in The Guardian to announce his imminent departure from the Democratic Party.

“We must admit that the Democratic Party has failed us, and we have to move on,” he wrote. “Where? To what?”

The People’s Party, he added, “builds on the ruins of a dying Democratic Party and creates new constituencies in this moment of transition and liquidation.”

West, a professor of The Practice of Public Philosophy, did a fair amount of public philosophizing about the 2016 election, insisting that it was one “which Democrats lost more than Republicans won” in large part because the party “put forward a Wall Street-connected and openly militaristic candidate with little charisma.”

Ouch! It’s enough to make you feel sorry for poor Hillary. And apparently the current darling of Democratic progressives, Massachusetts’ Sen. Elizabeth Warren, just won’t do.

“Only the ubiquitous and virtuous Bernie remains true to the idea of fundamental transformation of the party — and even he admits that seeking first-class seats on the Titanic is self-deceptive and self-destructive,” West wrote.

As for issues, well, the movement wants single-payer health care, is opposed to fracking, opposed to TPP (just like Donald Trump) and West in particular is “opposed to Israeli occupation” (it’s unclear whether that means simply the West Bank).

And, of course, there is the matter of age. Sure, Bernie’s a robust 75 today, but that would make him 79 in 2020. Guess there’s no expiration date on lefties.

Old people with old ideas, running as the party of youth.

VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE! A San Francisco Chronicle Columnist’s Plaintive Cry For Help.

Alternate description: DNC-MSM operative with byline who dubbed Chicago machine hack presidential candidate “a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment” not enjoying the Trump era very much.

Cross-reference additionally with (A) Dictionary definition of Schadenfreude. And (B) Dictionary definition of the Destructor.

WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Baltimore warns prosecutors to “think twice” before charging illegal immigrants.

THE MOST DANGEROUS CAR ON THE ROAD? According to the comments, it’s the Kia Rio. Which is funny, because I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those.

GLOBAL WARMING: When a scientific theory becomes a religion, then those with an opposing view become apostates.

And New York Times readers, and smug leftwing journalists who imagine themselves to be the second coming of Mencken bring the auto-de-fé. (Auto-de-fé? It’s what you oughtn’t to do, but you do anyway.)

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Eight False Pretenses Liberals Use to Frame an Argument.

SAMANTHA BEE ON CNN: THERE IS NO ‘SMUG LIBERAL PROBLEM:’

During their discussion, Tapper dredged up a New York Times opinion piece from September 2016 warning Hillary Clinton of her “Samantha Bee problem.” The column noted that not only Bee is the problem but all stuck up liberals as well. Bee laughed and denied such a problem existed.

“Oh my God, my name was in an article. It’s me! It’s not racism, it’s just me,” she quipped, targeting President Trump’s base. “You know what? I’ll just wait—I’ll wait for all that evidence roll in and then I’ll— then I’ll make up my mind after that.”

After Bee and Tapper joked around about her negative influence, he asked: “Does he have a point about smug liberals? I’m not talking about you. But is there a smug liberal problem?” “I just can’t take responsibility for the way the election turned out,” she responded before denying that such a problem played a role in 2016.

Yeah, I just can’t see it myself, either.

UPDATE: “Please, please keep this up, and Trump will win 48 states in 2020.”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Dangerous Drinks and How to Spot Them. When in doubt, I text Stephen Green.

HOW SEX AFFECTS TRAINING AND COMPETITION: “In the past it’s been assumed that there’s a temporary drop in testosterone levels following sexual activity in males. However, the topic of pre-competition and pre-training sex isn’t as simple as once thought.”

All I know is that Tiger Woods was doing a lot better when he was on the drugs and the hoes than he was once he cleaned up his act. I think it was all about neuromuscular tuning.

NANCY PELOSI: “I’M SO SORRY, PRESIDENT BUSH, I NEVER THOUGHT I’D PRAY FOR THE DAY THAT YOU WERE PRESIDENT AGAIN.”

Unexpectedly.

AWFUL? ‘Camp John Waters’ Is Exactly What It Sounds Like.

DO YOU EVEN LIFT, POPS? “Oh Dad,” she said, “you’re much more lovable when you’re pathetic.”

UPDATE: From the comments:

The linked article is a disguised advertisement for a new movie, masquerading as a soulful lament about daughters and aging dads.

The Teen Titans are mentioned at both the first and last sentence of the article, with “…I’m looking for noncompetitive activities we can share. I’m hoping we can see the new “Teen Titans” movie that came out this month…” at the end of the article to close the damn sale to the readers.

Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross said “ABC: Always Be Closing!” The Times’ shill masquerading as a columnist, ROBERT MARKOWITZ, certainly earned his pay for this product placement.

I, for one, resent the abuse of old media as a marketing tool even more than I resent the abuse of social media as a marketing tool.

I’d call the journalistic ethics police . . . if there were any.

SO I READ JOHN HAWKINS’ NEW BOOK, 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know, and it’s really quite good. An excellent graduation present. (Bumped).

PERSONALLY, I DON’T THINK HE’S A VERY GOOD POPE, ESPECIALLY FOR THESE TROUBLED TIMES: On the ‘Invasion’ of ‘Libertarianism,’ Pope Francis’ Ignorance Is Showing.

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: Academic Malfeasance: U. Of Arkansas Disinvites Phyllis Chesler. You might think that red-state universities would be less prone to such things, but most of the faculty and administrators were indoctrinated in elite blue-state schools. And, because they typically suffer from inferiority complexes, they often try extra-hard to be PC.

OUTRAGE: Women Forced to Pay for their Own Dinner.