QUESTION ASKED: What Are Cats Trying to Tell Us?

Nearly all New York State pet owners talk to their pets like they’re fellow humans, according to a recent poll.

Many believe their dogs and cats can respond with barks or meows that communicate hunger, fear, or simply the need to pee.

But do the animals tawk back in a Brooklyn accent?

That’s the sort of thing Swedish cat lover and phonetics researcher Suzanne Schötz is working to find out.

I don’t know if my Bengal has a midwestern accent like mine, but regardless his verbal communications seem to be limited to “feed me,” “rub my belly,” and “you will now bleed.”

MASKIROVKA: Russia, despite draw down, shipping more to Syria than removing.

It is not known what the ships were carrying or how much equipment has been flown out in giant cargo planes accompanying returning war planes.

But the movements – while only a partial snapshot – suggest Russia is working intensively to maintain its military infrastructure in Syria and to supply the Syrian army so that it can scale up again swiftly if need be.

Putin has not detailed what would prompt such a move, but any perceived threat to Russia’s bases in Syria or any sign that President Bashar al-Assad, Moscow’s closest Middle East ally, was in peril would be likely to trigger a powerful return.

Vladimir Putin seems to be handling his withdrawal from Syria with much more wisdom and foresight than President Obama showed when he scuttled our Status of Forces Agreement with Iraq in 2011.

SCOTT KINSHIP ON “HILLARY AND BERNIE, TAX FANTASISTS”: Soak-the-rich proposals ignore history and wouldn’t raise nearly enough money to fund big spending plans.

Progressives have often reminded us that the U.S. had such rates in the past. From 1936 to 1980, the highest federal income-tax rate was never below 70%, and the top rate exceeded 90% from 1951 to 1963. Under Ronald Reagan, the top federal rate declined to 28% by 1988 and has never reached 40% since.

The discussion of these rates can easily create the impression that the federal government collected far more money from “the rich” before the Reagan administration. And it can also leave another impression: There would be no downside to raising rates to 1950s levels, given that decade’s prosperity.

Neither impression would be correct. The effective tax rates actually paid by the highest income earners during the 1950s and early ’60s were far lower than the highest marginal rates. Few taxpayers reached the top brackets, the code was rife with loopholes, and capital gains were taxed at much lower rates.

There’s no fantasy involved here — just cold, hard politics.

Raising the top marginal rate isn’t about income equality or raising revenue. It’s about making a mess of the tax code, then sneaking in loopholes and shelters for cronies.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO SNEAK PENIS PICS: Nurse surrenders license after taking picture of patient’s penis.

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE UPDATE: Iran missile tests have caused alarm.

Iran’s Revolutionary Guards conducted ballistic missile tests earlier this month, in what they said was a demonstration of Iran’s non-nuclear deterrent power.

[U.N. Secretary-General] Ban, speaking to reporters in Geneva on the sidelines of a conference on Syrian refugees, said: “Out of this agreement (with major powers), now Iranians have launched ballistic missiles. It is true that that has caused alarm and concern.

“But what kinds of sanctions, what kind of measures should be applied is up to the Security Council members,” he said.

I had been assured by no less than President Obama and Secretary of State Kerry that the lifted sanctions would “snap back” without any new Security Council deal if Iran violated the agreement.

ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: Who wins with a $15 minimum wage?

The Los Angeles Times report somehow fails to list union workers among the winners. They earn quite a bit more than the minimum, but many of them have their pay scales indexed to the minimum wage. Unions also give heavily to Democratic politicians who support union-friendly issues like hiking the minimum wage.

And the losers? Anyone whose labor is worth less than $15 an hour, and who is about to learn the hard way that the real minimum wage is always zero.

SALENA ZITO PRESENTS: A brief history of smears against presidential candidates’ wives.

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE UPDATE: Japan opens radar station close to disputed isles, drawing angry China response.

NATE COHN REVEALS DONALD TRUMP’S SECRET WEAPON:

Mr. Trump’s blue-state appeal is a little hard to explain. It’s well established that he fares best among less educated voters. Yet his strongest performance so far wasn’t in Mississippi, where he got 47 percent of the Republican vote, but in Massachusetts, a famously liberal state, where he won 49 percent of Republican voters.

His appeal in historically Democratic areas is a reflection of strength among new Republicans — whether they be white Southerners or white Roman Catholics and working-class voters in the North who would have had no place in the Republican Party a half-century ago.

Read the whole thing.

“Blue-state Republicans” were abandoned by the Democrats, and then taken for granted by the GOP. Hillary Clinton had to have been hoping to win them back over like Bill did in ’92 and ’96, but Trump might just have a lock — assuming he’s the nominee.

YOU DON’T SAY: Some restaurants face pressure to trim menus and staffs under California’s wage hike.

Selwyn Yosslowitz said that minimum wage hikes add increased pressure to restaurants, which already operate on very slim margins. With the minimum wage going up, Yosslowitz said he’s going to have to rethink his menu and what dishes his restaurants serve.

“First, you have to raise prices, otherwise you’ll be out of business,” said Yosslowitz, president of the Marmalade Café, which operates seven Southland restaurants and an outlet at LAX. Restaurant owners also have to think about “re-engineering the menu” to require fewer kitchen workers.

“We will try to re-engineer the labor force,” he said. “Maybe try to reduce the number of bus boys and ask servers to bus tables.”

The real minimum wage is always zero.

TALIBAN “TARGETED CHRISTIANS” IN LAHORE:

On Easter Sunday, a crisp spring day, some of the city’s Christian population mingled with their Muslim neighbors, celebrating in a neighborhood park — taking their kids on rides or pushing them on swings. Then, the sound of tragedy.

Without warning, a blast tore through the park, killing indiscriminately.

Because of the innocent setting, an unusually high number of those injured were women and children. But the attack, claimed by a splinter group of the Pakistani Taliban, intentionally targeted Christians, the perpetrators say.

There is no peace in the Dar as-Salam.

CLOSE, BUT NO FLYING CAR: The quickest SUV Motor Trend has ever tested.

The Tesla Model X P90D in Ludicrous mode ripped its way to 60 mph in just 3.2 seconds and to the end of the quarter mile in 11.7 seconds at 116.0 mph. That beats out many high-performance SUVs including the 2015 BMW X6 M (3.7 sec; 12.1 sec @ 114.3 mph), the 2016 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupe S (3.9 sec; 12.5 sec @ 110.5 mph), and both the 2015 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S and 2015 Porsche Macan Turbo (which posted nearly identical numbers of 4.2 sec; 12.9 sec @ 107.4 mph and 106.2 mph, respectively).

Nice — but that’s no SUV; it’s a crossover.

FAIL, BRITANNIA: UK man arrested for tweeting.

The Metropolitan police confirmed that a 46-year-old man had been arrested on Wednesday evening in Croydon on suspicion of inciting racial hatred via social media.

He is understood to be Matthew Doyle, a partner at a south London-based talent and PR agency, who tweeted earlier in the day: “I confronted a Muslim women [sic] yesterday in croydon. I asked her to explain Brussels. She said “Nothing to do with me” a mealy mouthed reply.”

The comments, which followed Tuesday’s bomb attacks at Brussels airport and on the city’s metro system, were later deleted but sparked a furious response from other users of Twitter.

Doyle comes across as a jerk, but that’s no crime.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How to ditch your beer belly without quitting booze.

Officially, I’m dubious. But in the interest of science I’ll continue drinking.

A FESTIVAL OF REPRESSION: Cuban dissident leader Antonio Rodiles spoke to Mike Gonzalez about President Obama’s trip to Castro’s socialist paradise.

Even if Obama’s speech galvanizes some brave Cubans to demand their rights, the Castro Pretorian guard will crush them with impunity. We know this because that happened while Obama was in Cuba. Sources on the island said some Cubans gathered spontaneously after the speech to demand the rights enumerated in it, only to be brutally repressed by the Castro security forces. Yet the president not only did not leave in protest, but he failed to voice any objections or even mention it, at least publicly.

Indeed, during the three days of the Obama visit, dissidents were beaten, arrested, dragged through streets, stripped naked, and threatened with the rape of their daughters. Dissident leader Antonio Rodiles, himself beaten and detained on Monday along with his wife, told me the Obama visit had occasioned “a festival of repression.”

As he prefers to do, Obama gave a nice speech and then attended to other, more pressing matters.

WELL, YES: Emory student Amelia Sims says calling campaign slogans ‘hate speech’ is a threat to our democracy.

In response to the recent Trump 2016 “chalkening,” the Emory College Republicans chair writes:

Shortly after the incident, several student groups sent out a petition demanding Trump support be recognized as hate speech.

Many see President Wagner’s email as a harmless appeasement of the protesters’ demands. However, one should not underestimate the kind of precedent his response sets.

While the chalkers may have violated some parts of the vague chalking policy, the remedy for these violations is stated to be a clean-up fee, not a conduct hearing.

Additionally, the president’s statements seem to implicitly contradict support of free speech on campus. Conceding to campus loud-mouths is not a way to have respectful dialogue.

“Respectful dialogue” is hardly the aim of today’s campus crybullies.

TEACH GIRLS NOT TO PINCH: Florida girl, 12, arrested, charged with battery after pinching a boy’s butt.

Twelve-year-old Breana Evans was arrested after pinching a boy’s butt at an Orlando-area middle school and charged with misdemeanor battery for the cheeky attack.

“I regret it because I didn’t know it would lead to this,” Evans told WKMG. “I feel like it’s just stupid — just a stupid charge that shouldn’t have to happen.”

Her victim, a fellow classmate at Milwee Middle School, didn’t want to press charges, but his mother jumped in and told police he wanted the preteen prosecuted for battery.

The boy’s mother ought to be facing charges for abusing a minor.

21ST CENTURY HEADLINES: Twitter taught Microsoft’s AI chatbot to be a racist asshole in less than a day.

POLL: ISIS supporters vote UK top target as terrorists ‘warn of London attack’

Members were able to vote for one of 10 countries including the UK, Russia, America, Germany and Italy.

Britain came out top as half voted it as their chosen destination.

Also on the list were Denmark, the Netherlands, Spain, Australia and New Zealand.

In the chilling Twitter post, an account claiming to be an ISIS-affiliated news agency warned that the terror group will form its own ‘state’ in London.

Some might argue they already have.

NORTH KOREA CLAIMS SUCCESSFUL TEST OF SOLID-FUEL ROCKET ENGINE:

Pyongyang’s claim indicates it is continuing to develop an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) at a rapid pace in defiance of U.N. sanctions, and amid assessment by the South’s officials that it could conduct a new nuclear test at any time.

The isolated state has in recent weeks stepped up bellicose rhetoric, threatening pre-emptive nuclear strikes against Washington and Seoul, as well as making claims of advancement in its weapons technology.

The Rodong Sinmum, the North’s ruling party newspaper, carried photos of leader Kim Jong Un on site as a rocket engine laid horizontally on the ground emitted a fiery blast. A two-page report detailed the testing of the engine’s structure and thrust.

Solid fuel rockets are easier to maintain than liquid fuel, and can be fired with far less warning.

PEACE: Iraq says it’s launched offensive to recapture IS-held Mosul.

In the push, Iraqi forces retook several villages on the outskirts of the town of Makhmour, east of Mosul, early in the morning on Thursday and hoisted the Iraqi flag there, according to the spokesman for the Joint Military Command, Brig. Gen. Yahya Rasool.

It was not immediately clear how long such a complex and taxing offensive would take. Only recently, Iraqi and U.S. officials refrained to give a specific time on when the Mosul operation could begin, saying it would take many months to prepare Iraq’s still struggling military for the long-anticipated task of retaking the key city.

Some U.S. and Iraqi officials have said it may not even be possible to retake it this year, despite repeated vows by Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi.

This year?

DON’T DO STUPID SH*T: Obama Admin Engaged in Secret Talks to Pay Iran Nearly $2 Billion.

“Officials admit delays in informing Congress.”

More:

The Obama administration has spent three years engaged in secret talks with Iran that resulted in the payment of nearly $2 billion in taxpayer funds to the Islamic Republic, with more payouts likely to come in the future, according to a recent letter issued by the State Department and obtained exclusively by the Washington Free Beacon.

The administration’s disclosure came in response to an inquiry launched in January by Rep. Mike Pompeo (R., Kan.), who was seeking further information about the Obama administration’s payment of $1.7 billion in taxpayer funds to Iran, which many viewed as a “ransom payment” for Iran’s release that month of several U.S. hostages.

What, you think testing banned missiles is cheap?

POLL: Kasich, Cruz voters prefer Trump as second choice.

Nearly half of the supporters of Ohio Gov. John Kasich would vote for Donald Trump, not Ted Cruz, as their second choice, according to the results of a Quinnipiac University national poll released Wednesday. And more than half of Cruz’s backers suggested they would do the same with their man out of the race.

Asked whom they would like to win the GOP nomination, 43 percent of the 652 Republicans surveyed said they wanted Trump to emerge as the party’s choice in Cleveland, followed by 29 percent for Cruz and just 16 percent for Kasich, with 9 percent undecided.

Cruz is reportedly trying to “entice Kasich to drop out of race,” but if the Quinnipiac poll is correct, that would only nudge Trump even closer to 50% — or higher.

THIRD SUSPECT ARRESTED IN BRUSSELS ATTACK:

According to Belgian state broadcaster RTBF, one person has been arrested in Brussels. He is believed to be the third suspect and the bomb maker from the attack.

He has also been connected to the bombings in Paris back in November.

He has been identified as Najim Laachraoui and believed to be the man in the hat seen in the surveillance pictures from the airport Tuesday.

He’s alive, but will he talk?

NOT HELPING: Jeb Bush endorses Ted Cruz, who he says will help ‘overcome the divisiveness and vulgarity’ of Donald Trump.