I HAVE AN ALIBI: Man Banned From Airline After Wearing Thong for a Face Mask.

LIVE AT 3:30PM EASTERN: ‘Five O’Clock Somewhere’ with Kruiser, VodkaPundit, Special Guest.

NO ENEMIES TO THE LEFT: White House Hung Up on Sen. Rick Scott When He Called About Tortured Cuban Activist.

NOW THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY I’D BEEN HOPING FOR: USS Portland Uses Its Experimental Laser To Fry A Floating Target In The Middle East.

THE VACCINE MANDATE HAS ALREADY BEEN REDUCED FROM TWO SHOTS TO THREE: Has the definition of ‘fully vaccinated’ changed? These universities are already imposing booster mandates.

SHOCK POLL: Democrat Support in Freefall with Independents, GOP Way Up. “Biden has both an unpopular agenda and a high unfavorable rating draped around his neck like a lead life preserver. And now voters are leaving his party in droves.”

GOOD LORD: Longtime CNN producer John Griffin’s devices seized 17 months before child sex trafficking arrest. “A spokesman for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Vermont did not immediately return a request for comment on the reason for the delay in charging Griffin.”

FIRST- TERM YEAR LAME DUCK: Is Biden’s Build Back Better Plan ‘Dead Forever’?

OH: US tells Israel new tanker jets, key to Iran strike, not coming anytime soon.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Santa’s List of Businesses That Are Naughty and Nice to Conservatives.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO GET COVID. EVERYBODY: Don’t Be Surprised When You Get Omicron.

Surprised? I’ll almost be elated.

THIS IS FINE: Pelosi Ignores the Dumpster Fire, Claims Biden is ‘Just Perfect.’

AND EVEN THE PENNIES AREN’T WORTH AS MUCH: Frontline workers are getting raises, but inflation is whittling the gains to “pennies.”

Previously: Inflation Is Good for You.

PJ MEDIA VIP ROUNDUP: Don’t forget that VODKAPUNDIT promo code if you’ve been thinking of joining us.

Matt Margolis: NYT Columinst Begs ‘Alarmingly Incoherent’ Biden Not to Run For Reelection. “That the New York Times is not only acknowledging it but also not even mincing words about it is telling.”

Stephen Kruiser: Happy One-Year Anniversary to the ‘Game-Changer’ Vaccine! “What’s lost in all of the brouhaha about people who are vax skeptics is perhaps the main reason for their skepticism: the messaging about the vaccine last year at this time was horrible.” (Back then it was the dreaded “Trump vaccine.”)

Yours Truly: Energy Independence, Another Big Reason We Need a Republican Back in the White House. “Then, and only then, will we be able to give little oil-rich headaches the single-finger salute they so richly deserve.”

IT USUALLY IS: That Dana Milbank column is even dumber than you think.

Milbank claims journalists have been harder on President Joe Biden in the first year of his presidency than they were on former President Donald Trump in his last.

To support his position, he points to a report prepared by the analytical firm FiscalNote, whose “artificial intelligence” reviewed some 200,000 news articles to determine “sentiment” based on variables including adjective placement.

The group’s findings, which supposedly show the press have been tougher on Biden, confirm the Washington Post columnist’s worst fears: “My colleagues in the media are serving as accessories to the murder of democracy.”

His thesis is obvious bunk — as if a computer could ever hope to gauge “sentiment” accurately depending on adjective placement. However, after some additional digging, most notably by Don’t Walk, Run! Productions, which did the lion’s share of assessing FiscalNote’s data, it turns out Milbank’s theory is even flimsier than initially suspected.

Put simply, the research upon which his entire thesis rests, the supposed proof of the press’s collective failure to defend our big, wet Core Democracy™, is utter trash.

Read the whole thing.

I’d just add that for Milbank, Cillizza, et al., the important thing is to establish the lefty meme regardless of facts, so that they can be endlessly repeated on social media platforms that won’t fact-check them.

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEF: Elizabeth Warren Is Really Cranking Up the Commie Stupidity This Week. “A sane world would recognize that she doesn’t have the talent to be an unpaid intern at Tesla or SpaceX and tell her to stop barfing up nonsense.”

JUST IN TIME FOR IT TO NOT MATTER NEARLY AS MUCH AS OMICRON CROWDS OUT DELTA: Pfizer’s anti-COVID drug still looks effective after further analysis.

POLLS. NEXT QUESTION? Why Does San Francisco’s Mayor Suddenly Want to Get Tough on Crime?

TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE: Please enjoy this supercut of Joe Biden repeatedly saying a word that does not exist in the English language.

Does he really keep saying “expodentially?”

Supposebly.

WELL, THEY SHOULD: Jussie Smollett’s Problems Continue. “He potentially faces multiple years in prison, though some experts believe he’ll get probation. Even if he manages to avoid jail time, he now may have to pay back the city of Chicago for the costs incurred investigating the hate crime that didn’t actually happen.”

MEGAN FOX: Family Court Psychologist Sued in New York for ‘Reprogramming Children’ and Labeling Mom a ‘Parental Alienator.’

BRAVE SIR ROBIN BRAVELY TURNED AND FLED: SF Democrat Mayor London Breed, After Backing Defunding Police, Reverses: Need ‘Aggressive’ Policing. “It comes to an end when we take the steps to be more aggressive with law enforcement, more aggressive with the changes in our policies, and less tolerant of all the bulls**t that has destroyed our city, we are going to turn this around.”

AJ KAUFMAN: COVID-19 Reality Check: Omicron Spreads Rapidly But Does Not Cause Death.

Increased immunity at basically zero risk — what’s not to love?

Some people thought I was joking when I wrote this one last week, but no.

PUBLIC EDUCATION AS CHILD ABUSE: L.A. Schools Host LGBT Club For 4-Year-Olds, Promote ‘Two Spirit’ Sexuality And Child Mutilation.

KEVIN DOWNEY JR: What Kind of People Would Fake a Hate Crime? Leftists! “In reality, hate hoaxes exploded. Leftists couldn’t wait to vilify Trump and his legions. If that means accusing 13-year-old white boys of holding down a black girl and cutting off her dreadlocks, so be it.”

Usually, Leftists love shortages.