HUMBLING HIMSELF FOR “SOCIAL JUSTICE”:  Stephen King: Oscars are rigged in favor of white people.

AS A FIRST GUESS, BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE TOO LITTLE TO DO?  Why the ‘Hunger Games’ prequel book is so controversial.

FROM YOUR MOUTH:  Will an Arkansas stripper finally shut down the Schiff show?

IF HIS LIPS ARE MOVING:  Schiff strikes again.

BECAUSE THEY’RE PISSING DOWN OUR NECKS AND TELLING US IT’S RAINING:  Why Americans Hate the News Media, Chapter 12,186.

AH THE LEGION OF LES SANS CERVEAUX:   Bros In Bars Want To “Guillotine The Rich” for Bernie.

NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW:  Democrats 2020 Quest Drives the Impeachment Farce.

I WONDER WHAT BARNYARD ANIMALS EVER DID TO THE AUTHOR?  Virginia Democrats Continued Assault on Constitution.

Also, can we get the Constitution a rape whistle, already?

APPARENTLY THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR:

HERE’S SARGENT MOM’S TAKE: The New Versailles.

AND HERE’S MINE:  D’Haut en Bas.

NO. THEY’RE MERELY INSANE. THEY STUDIED THE SCIENCE OF ECONOMICS, BUT INSIST ON THINKING IT IS A SOFT SCIENCE WHERE HUMANS CAN CHANGE THE LAWS AT WILL. THEY ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF PHYSICISTS WHO ROUTINELY ABOLISH GRAVITY AND WONDER WHY IT STILL WORKS:  Are Professional Economists Idiots?

HARD FOR THIS TO BE LESS EFFECTIVE THAN THE SHOTS:  Flu vaccine in pill form on horizon.

PERHAPS THAT’S WHAT THEY THINK THEY’RE DOING. BUT I DON’T THINK IT WILL PLAY THAT WAY:  Trey Gowdy Went On Fox News and Had All Hell Breaking Loose With One Secret.

The country must look weird from inside DC. Even for Republicans.

WELL, WELL, THAT’S JUST SENSE:  Brooklyn man registers beer as emotional support animal.

CHARLIE MARTIN, PAY HEED:  National Weather Service warns Floridians about falling iguanas.

YOU’VE GOT JUST ONE JOB, WATER TREATMENT PLANTS, ONE JOB!  Americans exposed to toxic chemicals in drinking water ‘dramatically underestimated’: report.

WELL, YES. THERE IS A REASON WE CALL HER OCCASIONAL CORTEX:  Ben Shapiro: AOC preaches economic nonsense leading to exploitation, tyranny and loss of our rights.

AND NO ONE CARES:  Adam Schiff Is Already Claiming The Illegitimacy Of A Trump Reelection.

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEY HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO LOSE:  As The Impeachment Trial Begins, Democrats Are Losing Their Minds.

YEAH. GOOD LUCK GETTING THAT:  Barack Obama should be key witness in impeachment trial, not Joe or Hunter Biden.

NOT ONLY IS THE BABYLON BEE UNCERTAIN ON THE CONCEPT THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO REPORT REAL NEWS, THEY’VE NOW GOT THEIR HANDS ON A TIME MACHINE, AND ARE REPORTING FRO THE FUTURE:  AOC Declares Stalin Was Actually Center-Right.

OH, JUST GREAT. NOW HE’LL BE NOMINATED:  Hillary Dissed Bernie and Said Nobody Likes Him.

NOPE. AND NO TAKE BACKS, EITHER:  Schiff Circus Shifts to Senate, Demands Do-Over.

AND NOW THE COMMENT:  Hillary Clinton Accidentally Posts Condolences For Tulsi Gabbard’s Suicide One Day Early.

SUBMITTED WITHOUT COMMENT:  Tulsi Gabbard Sues Hillary Clinton For Defamation.

AND FROM AMERICA’S PAPER OF RECORD:  Pelosi Releases Limited-Edition Replica Of Dentures Worn During Trump Impeachment.

I hear they’re thinking of changing their motto to “Still more truthful than the New York Times.” They’re modest people.