DEAR BABYLON BEE: STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS:  Mayor De Blasio Lays Naval Minefield To Deter Swimmers.

Wilhelmina the First of Marxist Glory is quite capable of it.

AND THANK HEAVENS:  On the economy, Trump, unlike Obama, actually knows his stuff.

OR IT WILL END IN HEADS ON PIKES:  Obamagate Must Result in Criminal Prosecutions.
The law must work so people don’t take the law in their own hands. You really don’t want the law in people’s hands. It will get all red and gory.

WELP, IT TURNS OUT THEY LOCKED YOU UP TO SAVE GRANDMA BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO KILL HER…  Michigan: Gretchen Whitmer seeds the nursing homes with COVID-19.

YEP:  The coronavirus may damage nature for years to come.

CAN YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?  Illinois State Police Won’t Arrest Individuals for Violations of Executive Orders.

LEFTIST PRIVILEGE IS BORING:  Michigan State Professor Warns of “Unconscious Bias” and “Microaggressions” in Virtual Meetings.

GAULEITER WHITMER REMINDED THEM THAT BEFEHL IST BEFEHL:  Michigan State Police Issue Three Disorderly Conduct Citations During Operation Haircut.

I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, BUT IF THE DEMS CHEAT THEIR SPOKESZOMBIE IN, THE VP PICK WILL BE PRESIDENT. FROM KAMALA — KNEEPADS — HARRIS — AND STACEY ABRAMS, GAULEITER WHITMER, AND ELIZABETH WAR(BONNET)REN AND OTHER THINGS THAT BUMP US INTO THE NIGHT OF COMMUNISM, MAY THE GOOD LORD DELIVER US:  Biden VP Sweepstakes Pick Up Steam.

I WANT TO BELIEVE:  Gov. Cuomo Must Answer for Nursing Home Deaths.

I TOLD THEM SO:  Doctors raise alarm about health effects of continued coronavirus shutdown: ‘Mass casualty incident’.

I’M A COLORADAN. AND I’M TIRED OF BEING LIMITED BY OUR GOVERNMENT:  I DO NOT CONSENT.

IT’S TIME AND MORE THAN TIME. AS POLIS SAYS THAT RESTAURANTS MAY NEVER OPEN FOR IN-PLACE DINING, AND WHILE HE SAYS MUSEUMS AND THE BOTANIC GARDENS ARE BEST ENJOYED ON LINE INDEFINITELY, UCCS IS OPENING FOR IN PERSON CLASSES IN JUNE. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE. AND THERE IS NO WAY THAT THE BOTANIC GARDENS ARE MORE DANGEROUS THAN WALMART, FOR THAT MATTER. IT’S ALL IRRATIONALITY AND POWER TRIPPING. TAKE THEIR HUGO BOSS UNIFORMS AWAY. HAND THEM PENITENT ROBES. BEFORE WE HAVE TO TO GET WAY MORE SERIOUS:  Open the States movement declares: “On Friday, the lockdowns end”.

Olly, Olly Oxen Free!

THE CENTER CANNOT HOLD:  Our COVID Future: The Establishment Strikes Back.

WELL… THAT WOULD BE …. INTERESTING.
I’M NOT ANTI-VACCINE. I EVEN TAKE THE FLU VACCINE ON POOR FIT YEARS, BECAUSE MY RESPIRATORY SYSTEM SUCKS (IN GENERAL)
BUT MY FANS WHO ARE MDs HAVE ADVISED ME NEVER EVER EVER TO THAT THE FIRST ITERATION OF A VACCINE. PROBLEMS ALWAYS SHOW UP:  Will We All Be Forced to Get COVID Vaccines?

Also? My body my choice. Sauce. Gander.

HUBRIS AND MISCALCULATIONS ARE A GIVEN WITH THE LEFT. BUT EVEN I DIDN’T REALIZE THEY’D BE SO STUPID AND EVIL AS TO WANT TO DESTROY ALL OF ECONOMY AND STARVE PEOPLE JUST TO GET ORANGE MAN BAD:  Hubris and miscalculation: The left’s bid to exploit the virus to defeat Trump.

IF ANYTHING DEMANDS A SOCIALIST SOLUTION, IT MUST BE A PRETTY STUPID PROBLEM. LIKE, SAY, TOO MUCH TOILET PAPER:  Human Problems Demand Human Solutions, Not Socialist Ones.

OH, HECK:  Perfect Choice – Gretchen Whitmer Negotiating With Biden Team for Vice President Position…

TAKE VITAMIN D, IGNORE THE KARENS, AND REFUSE TO BE LOCKED DOWN ANYMORE. OLLY, OLLY OXEN FREE:  COVID19 update, May 19, 2020: scaling up drug production; super-spreading events; reopening churches and synagogues; Matt Ridley on vitamin D.

THIS — ALL OF THIS — WILL END BADLY… FOR THE LEFT:  J’Accuse: Judge Sullivan marches on and invents his own judicial procedures.

OH, DEAR LORD, REALLY? THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO RUN WITH?  Impeachment 2.0 The Schiff Hits The Fan.

WE’RE NOT PRECISELY RURAL, BUT I’VE BEEN PRACTICING MY REBEL YELL:  Rural America Rebels Against the Madness.

THAT’S BECAUSE THEIR COLLEGE PROFESSORS TOLD LIBERALS THAT CAPITALISM CAUSES POVERTY. AND THESE SHEEP BELIEVED IT:  Back to the Future on Crime.

FOUND ON THE INTERNET — STACEY ABRAMS COMEBACK:

DO YOU GUYS EVER WONDER IF THEY LOCKED US UP TO DISTRACT FROM THIS SEWER BEING OPENED?  Explosive Rice Memo Declassified.