SOON DIRT WILL BE TOO EXPENSIVE:  Behold the glory of Bidenomics.

PHILOSOPHERS ALWAYS BEND THE KNEE:  What is “The Right Way To Lead Life”?

THE LEFT THINKS THEY’RE BUILDING AN ARMY. IF THESE INVADERS HAD HALF A BRAIN THEY’D SNIFF THE AIR AND RUN:  Biden Admin Randomly Dropping Off Illegal Border Crossers as the Invasion Continues.

GIGGLE:  ‘Battle of Sacred Cow Groups’ Begins in MI After All-Muslim City Council Bans Pride Flag on City Property.

OF COURSE THEY ARE:  Colleges Still Recruiting for High-Paying DEI Administrator Positions.

YOU ALWAYS GET MORE OF WHAT YOU PAY FOR:  Days After Biden Approves $6 Billion Ransom Deal, Iran Takes Another Westerner Hostage.

LIKE COMPETENCE:  Trump Likes the ‘Concept’ of a Woman VP But Says There Are More Important Criteria Than Just Gender.

THERE ARE STILL PRO-LIFE DEMOCRATS??? WHAT’S NEXT? UNICORNS?  Pro-Life Democrat Launches Presidential Bid as Protest Against Party’s Abortion Agenda.

WOULDN’T RESPECTING FRANCHISES AND FANDOMS HAVE BEEN A BETTER CHOICE?  Disney reportedly slashes targets for Disney+ subscribers after hiking prices.

IF THAT’S ALL THAT’S UPSETTING THEM…  NYC parents peeved by virtual COVID-era back-to-school conferences.

COMMUNISTS GO BLAH, GUN INDUSTRY GO BRRRRT:  NY ammo sales soar, shops close on eve of change in state gun law.

NEW JERSEY IS UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT OF PRIVATE PROPERTY:  NJ ramps up pressure on landowners’ group to allow beach access on Sundays.

HE WANTS HIS CUT:  Sharpton says powerful 1199 SEIU must do better investing in minority-owned funds.

SHOT: Socialists want to hit New Yorkers with new ‘Migrant Taxes’.

CHASER: NYC dumping more money into migrant crisis than any other US hotspot.

GOOD. NOW FIGURE OUT HOW GROW THEM:  Scientists discover how brain cells die in Alzheimer’s in breakthrough study.

GIGGLE:  Bud Light could lose retail shelf space as Dylan Mulvaney boycott persists: experts.

FEEL GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:  In act of divine retribution, equestrian statue of Angela Merkel collapses spontaneously under its own weight.

IT’S TIME TO STOP IT:  Dr. Robert Redfield Comes Clean on Government Censorship.

IT’S A GOOD START:  Ibram X. Kendi’s ‘Anti-Racism’ Think Tank at Boston University Firing a Third of its Employees.

PEOPLE HAVE HAD ENOUGH:  NYC Protestors Drown Out AOC, Democrats at Press Conference Over Migrant Crisis.

SHOCKED, SHOCKED, SHOCKED. BEHOLD MY SHOCKED FACE:  Racist Joe Biden Says Something Racist. Again.

BEACHES SOON TO RUN SHORT OF SAND!  Chicago Mayor Johnson Moves Toward City-Run Grocery Stores.

GOOD BECAUSE IT HAD ENTRAPMENT ALL OVER IT:  Jury clears 3 men in the last trial tied to the plot to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

THE CITIZENSHIP OATH HAS THE SAME PROMISE:  Foreign and Domestic.

WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH EURASIA:  School purges books published before 2008 in ‘illogical’ inclusivity push.