HALLELUJAH, IT’S RAINING SHOES: The shoes are raining down in Hillary’s e-mail mess.

WE’LL START OFF WITH MY SHOCKED FACE: The Obama State Department endorses Europe’s latest slap at Israel.

BEFORE SUNRISE: For the love of heaven, I’m a writer! Look Up Before Sunrise for the Next Month to See 5 Planets at Once.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT: Man stabbed and bitten after stirring someone else’s chili.

PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING: What Bernie Sanders misses about the rise in campaign cash.

IF IT WORKS YOU KEEP DOING IT: Why Iran’s thugs just took more hostages.

BIG ENOUGH: The issue so big it has religious voters cheering Trump. Now if we could trust anything Trump says…

THE ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO KILL THE ECONOMY IT TAKES CREDIT FOR IMPROVING: The Administration Is Ruling by Decree.

UNTIL SOMEONE EATS THE DOG: The dog keeps eating IRS hard drives.

EVEN STARS CAN’T ENDORSE REPUBLICANS WITHOUT PAYING THE PRICE: Why reality star Rick Harrison’s ad for Marco Rubio speaks volumes.

ON THE OTHER HAND, ELECTRONIC BOOKS DON’T COLLECT DUST: Why Books are the Best Furniture.

BUT BILL SAID THEY’D LOVE ME FOR STANDING BY HIM: Sorry, Hillary: Women care more about their president than his (or her) agenda.

THAT WORD DOESN’T MEAN WHAT THEY THINK IT MEANS: But it be honest, it also doesn’t mean what the Feds meant, mean or will mean. No food is healthy. Not even kale.

SO, THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE: Putin ‘Probably’ Approved Litvinenko Poisoning, U.K. Inquiry Says.

IT’S ONLY BORING IF YOU DON’T DO IT RIGHT: Elite Women Discover Parenthood Can Sometimes Be Boring.

EVERYONE LOVES THE BEAUTIFUL: So the Aristos must love the ugly, to be different. The Cult of Ugliness: America’s Celebrity Fashion Crisis.

ER… WHAT? New York women’s dirty little sex secret.

AH, THE REALLY IMPORTANT DEBATES: The Illegitimacy of Aragorn’s Claim to the Throne.

HE HAS REFUSED TO ASSENT TO LAWS: The Latest Immigration Scandal: Overstayed Visas.

GOOD ON HIM: Cruz Seeks to Block Joint U.S.-Cuba Security Exercises.

UM…. NO: The Foam Fins Covering This Wetsuit Let You Body Surf Without a Board.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, RIGHT: Drunk perv got trashed, then molested my husband mid-flight.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE: After how nice Obama has been to all our allies and everything. Lawmaker: Obama Admin Fueling ‘Campaign to Destroy Israel’.

SOCIALISM IS CORRUPTION: It sure pays to be Mayor de Blasio’s pal.

TOO BAD WE PULLED DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY: Battleships Pulled Off The Biggest Ruse Of Operation Desert Storm 25 Years Ago.