Author Archive: Sarah Hoyt

MICHELLE RISTUCCIA: Premeditations.

OR, AS WE CALL IT AROUND THE HOUSE: Generation Derp.  (Like my fish.) Generation Stupid.

AND AGAIN, LOOK HOW SHOCKED I AM: Oh, wait, I’m not.  After all I’ve moved all my life in liberal arts circles.  Emphasis on “liberal.” Because that’s what they are. Social Psychology is Ridiculously Left Wing.

THIS AUTHOR DOESN’T GET IT: She’s obviously never been one of the “needy.”  Right now, we can buy lottery or not, take it or leave it.  BUT when we were incredibly broke, we bought the lottery every weekend.  And we were never disappointed.  You see, we weren’t really buying a chance at millions.  We knew that was unlikely.  (My husband’s degree is Pure Math.) We were buying a chance to dream. Between whenever we bought the lottery and the drawing, we spent all that money a billion different ways, and forgot for a moment that we didn’t actually have enough spare money to buy new paperback books or, you know, buy a movie ticket, or meat for dinner. It was totally worth it. Why Big Powerball Jackpots are Bad For Us.

LOOKING FOR AN AUDIENCE NAIVE ENOUGH TO BELIEVE HER: Hillary’s new star turn: heroine of children’s books.  It’s good to see the literary/news/entertainment establishment prove themselves as meretricious for Hillary as they were for Obama.  I remember those comic books.  Of course, no Republican candidate ever deserves this type of thing.  And of course the establishment is Republican.  Or at least that’s what the narrative says, right? I wonder they can’t tell it stinks like week old fish.

ROMAN GANGS DEMANDED YOU BRING YOUR MOTHER’S HEART FOR INITIATION:  Or so my father told me.  What we are fighting.

WAIT, WORSE THAN THE CANADIAN CHICK WHO WANTS TO PUT ALL MEN IN CURFEW: The War on Fun: Canadian Edition. Are our neighbors to the North suffering from weather-related depression or something? Should we send them vitamin D?