THE THEOLOGICAL OPINIONS OF IDIOT PROGRESSIVES: Praying for the president .

LET’S DO THE LEGISLATIVE WARP AGAIN: Back to the drawing board on health insurance reform. It’s just a step to the left… and then a step to the left.

WHAT IF THEY GAVE A DOOMSDAY AND NOBODY CAME? Climate Scientists Move Global Meltdown from 2018 to 2168. You’d think they’d have learned the trick from science fiction writers: make your predictions happen after you’re safely dead.  But at least they’re now catching up.

SO SINCE THE FORTIES THE GLACIER HAS GROWN, NOW IT’S RECEDED SOME… IT’S ALMOST LIKE THIS IS CYCLICAL OR SOMETHING: Bodies of couple missing since 1942 likely found in glacier.

FUNNY NAME FOR BARS:Mall installs ‘husband pods’ for men who don’t want to shop.

JUST A ROUNDING ERROR FOR THE FEDS: Missing paperwork could make $5B in student debt disappear.

WE SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER: The Difference Between Citizens And Subjects.

INDEED: The One Sentence That Explains Washington Dysfunction.

WHEN WE GET TO SPACE, THIS IS ALL WE’LL FIND: The last survivors on Earth.

SERIOUSLY, WAIT WHAT? Moonbeam Brown Unhinged: ‘Existence of humanity rests on extending California’s cap and tax law’.

IN THE EMAIL FROM STEPHANIE OSBORN: Division One: A Very UnCONventional Christmas.

WHAT THEY NEED IS A LANDING AND RETURN MODULE, AND IT AIN’T MONEY KEEPING THEM FROM THAT: NASA admits it’s too broke to go to Mars.

WAIT, HOW MUCH FOR A 12OZ CANDLE? Not unless it sings, dances and types my books. These hippie candles are blessed with tarot cards and crystals.

A RARE FIND: Mass. Historical Society acquires sword of Robert Gould Shaw.

OKAY, CAN WE JUST DECLARE THEM LEGALLY INSANE? Feminist Magazine Explains Why You Must Not Gender Your Pets.

MORE RED THAN AMERICAN: American Reds, Soviet Stooges.

I ONLY WANT AN ANSWER TO THE VERY LAST QUESTION: Five Questions to Ask About the Current Trump Kerfuffle.

SPEAKING OF SHIA LABOEUF:Bodycam Footage of Shia LaBeouf Arrest Shows Actor’s Racist Comments.  Someone should tell him that he shall not divide us…

WHAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS WHY ANYONE TRIES TO APPEASE THESE ABUSERS: “Spider-man: Homecoming” Not Woke Enough For SJW Critics. You know they’re just going to hit you and tell you that you brought it on yourself.  Stop it.  Keep your self-respect.

BEFORE OR AFTER 4CHAN IS DONE KEKING HIM? Will Shia LaBoeuf’s Trump Hate Save His Career?

NOBODY THOUGHT MARLENE DIETRICH WAS “GENDER FLUID”: Sorry Vogue, wearing your boyfriend’s jacket doesn’t make you ‘gender-fluid’.

EH:Say It Ain’t So, Joe: Legendary Vanity-Rock Sensation Joe Scarborough Quits the GOP on Steven Colbert, After Admitting He Buys Into Liberal Progressive Line 100%.

THE ENTIRE COUNTRY DOES: I Need a Vacation.

VICTIMS OF FEMINISM: Those poor kids.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: What it’s really like to get struck by lightning.