DOOOOOOMED, DOOOOOOOOOMED, I TELL YAH: Stephen Hawking and the Temple of Dooms.

PRECIOUS SNOW FLAKE MEDAL, WITH ENTITLEMENT CLUSTERS: Swedish Hiker Calls for Helicopter Rescue Because She Was … Tired.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH: Gun Control Fantasies. Reality based community.  Pfui.

YEP, YEP, YEP: Global Warming and Suckers.

BUT BUT BUT, THE GOVERNMENT SAID YOU COULD KEEP YOUR DOCTOR:1,332 Counties Will Only Have One Health Insurer on Obamacare Exchange in 2018.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE LEFT CONTINUES TO BE OUT OF IDEAS: “Suburbicon” Pummels Hollywood’s Favorite Punching Bag… again.

THERE IT IS, MY SHOCKED FACE:Elizabeth Warren Again Calls for ‘Equal Pay,’ Ignores Pay Gap in Own Office.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: The deadly reason why you shouldn’t let dogs lick your face.

WHY ARE LIBERAL-CONTROLLED INSTITUTIONS AND COMPANIES SUCH CESSPITS OF EXPLOITATION, HARASSMENT AND ABUSE? NBC only wants ‘good-looking’ employees: lawsuit.

NOT A PROBLEM FOR THE SELF EMPLOYED: Even if my boss is a b*tch.  When a colleague is laid off, it can send shockwaves throughout the workplace.

DESPITE…  DESPITE?  I DO NOT THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS: Barbie sales are bombing despite new body types.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE: Media Ignore Carolla, Shapiro Defending Free Speech.

ROFL:  Diversity in Dunkirk.

KEEP THIS IN MIND WHEN THEY TELL YOU THE CIA SECRETLY RULES THE WORLD:That time the CIA tried to train cats to be spies.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T OPEN THE ARC:$130 million of Nazi gold may be in a sunken cargo ship.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO YADA YADA YADA:Woman charged with posting revenge porn after break-up.

BUILD YOUR VOCABULARY:The Proper Names of 17 Bodily Functions.

YEAH, IN GENERAL, EXCEPT FOR SOME DISGUSTING INTERLUDES: Does History Move Upward?

ABOUT TIME SOMEONE DID: Indie Goes Where Hollywood Fears to Thread.

SOME GOOD NEWS:Scalise released from hospital .

LAYERS AND LAYERS OF FACT CHECKERS: Today Show Published An Eclipse Map That Skips Over Idaho. Wait, What?!

ME? I WANT OUTLOOK BACK.  IT SERVED MY SIMPLE NEEDS:MS Paint Is Dead — Errr, Wait A Minute.

IT’S A CANADIAN PLOT! Axe throwing is now one of the hottest competitive sports.

DOES THIS MEAN I GET TO BUY MORE AMMO? Solar Eclipse Day Craziness Could Resemble the Zombie Apocalypse — Are You Ready?

DO YOU MEAN OTHER THAN HIGH TAXES, EXCESSIVE REGULATIONS AND PERVASIVE SMIRKING LEFTISM? Why people are getting the hell out of the Northeast.