LIFE PERSISTS IN IMITATING THE ONION:  Stranger Than Fiction.

WELL, LEFTISM IS JUST NEUROTIC NONSENSE:  Leftist Writer Says Patriotic War Movies are Just “Masculine Nonsense.”

MUCH SHOCKED.  SO MY FACE:  Hillary Clinton Shielded Top Adviser In Spite Of Sexual Harassment Claims.

NO.  PROBABLY NOT EVEN THEN:  You Can Have my Meat When You Pry It from My Cold, Dead Hands.

THIS IS THE DAUGHTER OF A FRIEND:  And she sings beautifully.

MISANDRY EN PARADE:  Duke’s ‘Men’s Project’ Seeks to ‘Destabilize Masculine Privilege’.

NO ONE HERE GETS OUT ALIVE:  Scare-tistics.

IMPEACHMENT DREAMING:  Parallel media universes: the MSM is obsessed with Trump and Mueller .  And it’s blinding them.  Not that, you know, they hadn’t already carved their metaphorical eyes out with grapefruit spoons under Bush, then Obama, then…

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  It’s Official: Liberals Hate Constitutional Government.

THE DEVIL SHALL NOT BE MOCKED:  George Soros – Trump Will Disappear.

LET THEM EAT CRUMBS:  Shutdown Chow Down, Crumbs and Swiss Cheese.

IT WOULD EXPLAIN MUCH:  Could getting rid of dairy be making you dumb?

CHANNELING BILLY IDOL: WITH A REBEL YELL SHE CRIED MOO, MOO, MOO!  Rebel cow escapes her farm to run free with bison crew.

THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY I WAS TOLD TO EXPECT:  These next-generation weapons will blast asteroids out of the sky.

THEY’RE NOT LISTENING STILL:  The Parable of the Man of Many New Words.

A RAINBOW DINOSAUR, REALLY?  This Week’s Strangest Science News.

THIS, RIGHT HERE, GENTLEMEN, IS FEMINISM FLYING OVER AN ARRAY OF 100 MASSED SHARKS:  Amazon’s Alexa Will No Longer Tolerate Sexist Abuse.

OBVIOUSLY SOME OF THE RUSSIAN DEFENSE PEOPLE RETIRED IN HAWAII:  On This Day: The Black Brandt Rocket Scare.

THIS JUST DOESN’T END WELL:  The Sad Decline of the FBI: You Read It Here First.

CURIOSER AND CURIOSER SAID ALICE:  Hawaiian Who Sent False Missile Alert Won’t Cooperate With Investigation.

I KNOW WHOM I’D BET ON:  In Davos, Trump Versus The Snooty Globalists.

AND SPEAKING OF FIGHTING THE CULTURE WAR, SOME WEAPONS:   The State and Revolution Pt. 1 – by Amanda S. Green.

MEANWHILE, AT THE LESS REPUTABLE OSCARS:  A story in The Hollywood Reporter offers a stinging critique of Academy Award voters.

IT’S A HARD JOB BUT SOMEBODY’S GOT TO DO IT:  Inside the ‘XXX Oscars’: How a panel of judges picks porn’s biggest winners.

QUITTING DRINKING IS EASY, I’VE DONE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES:   Heavy drinkers can’t quit booze even if they want to, study says.  (Of course, I’m not a heavy drinker.  But I’ve had similar issues with writing.  The longest I stayed quit was two weeks, at the end of which I had cleaned everything that stood still long enough, including boys and cats, and the entire family begged me to resume writing… and leave them alone.)