THE BOX CAN’T BE CLOSED AGAIN:  Pandora’s Gun.

THOSE WHO WOULD TRADE FREEDOM FOR SAFETY LOSE BOTH:  Freedom or Safety.

MOLON LABE:  Yes, They Really Do Want to Take All Your Guns.

I HAD BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED THAT THE SCIENCE WAS SETTLED:  Scientists discover ‘new organ’ hiding in plain sight.

LAST BLUE MOON UNTIL 2019:  Blue moon will light up sky ahead of Easter.

HOW YOUR RUBBER DUCKIE IS PLOTTING YOUR DEATH:   Scientists uncover disgusting truth about rubber duckies.

NO KIDDING? THERE’S A DISEASE WITH A STIGMA? WHO KNEW!   Fear is keeping Alzheimer’s sufferers from getting treatment.

WITH PARENTS SHOPPING FOR DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW ANY GAL OVER 30 IS DAMAGED GOODS EVEN WITH SIX GUYS FOR EVERY FIVE GIRLS:  Dating in China is seriously brutal.

MORE EXPENSIVE, HARDER TO SCHEDULE BUT LESS LIKELY TO MAKE YOU A BORE:  Going to a concert is better for you than yoga: study.

OH, YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT:  My novel, Darkship Revenge is a finalist for the Prometheus Award.

(Bumped, by Glenn, because I’m proud of Sarah.)

OF MAKING NOVELS AND SAUSAGES:   Sausage.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT TIME IS IT?  YEP.  IT’S TIME FOR MY SHOCKED FACE AGAIN:  Bankruptcies caused by medical bills are not common.

THIS WILL END IN TEARS:  The Unbearable Gayness of Allah and Other British Tales.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE:  Who Runs March for Our Lives?

SPEAKING OF BLOWING, DIDN’T THE MEDIA AND THE DEMOCRATS TELL US THERE WAS NOTHING TO SEE AND SEX WAS A PRIVATE MATTER WHEN CLINTON SEXUALLY HARASSED HIS INTERN?  On 60 Minutes, Stormy Daniels blew her credibility.  Also, at least Trump never pretended to be a saint in sexual matters.  And there’s the reason he was elected, too, to wit, still not Hillary.

WHAT A FEW THOUSAND KIDS DEFINING A GENERATION?  CAN THE MEDIA STOP TRYING TO RECREATE 68?  THEY DON’T HAVE THAT POWER ANY MORE.  WE WON’T GIVE IT TO THEM:  No, The ‘March For Our Lives’ Isn’t Defining A Generation.

THE LAST TIME THE CHURCH MADE THIS KIND OF GLOBAL POLITICAL PLAY IT DIDN’T END WELL:   Photo Op: Stoneman Douglas Students + Palm Sunday + Homemade Signs.  Someone should tell the pope that people who attend mass aren’t hard left, regardless of what his advisors tell him. I read somewhere that those Catholics who disapprove of the pope are a tiny minority.  The problem is, faithful Catholics, as opposed to cultural Catholics, are by and large the same minority.

BUT, BUT, BUT THAT’S UN-POSSIBLE:  Opinion: School Gun Control Texas-Style.

CAN SHE GO ANY FURTHER LEFT?  Kirsten Gillibrand’s latest left turn.  Is this a turn left and die for her career?

WAIT, WHAT?  Connecticut governor’s new worry: state workers’ hurt feelings.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, AT LEAST IT WASN’T A METEOR THIS TIME:   You’re fired! Animatronic T-rex burns up in hellish scene.

THAT’S GREAT.  I MOONLIGHT AS AN AUTHOR FROM MY JOB AS AN AUTHOR.  IT’S SOMEWHAT LESS CREEPY:  This author moonlights as a professional cuddler.

TO SAY NOTHING OF THE FAILURES OF OBAMA:  How Obama’s Portrait Reveals the Failures of the Elitist Art World.

IT ACTS AS A GREAT MELT FOR SNOWFLAKES:  In Defense of Dark Humor.

AGAIN AND AGAIN I SAY ONTO THEE, DUH!  Report: March For Our Lives Crowd Count Well Below Expected And Initial Reports.  In all my years of watching leftist demonstrations and reading reports in the media, on two continents, I’ve never seen or heard of one whose numbers the press didn’t grossly exaggerate.