DEMS CAMPAIGN TO RE-ELECT TRUMP:  Dems Introduce ICE Abolition Bill With Few Real Details.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS METAPHORICAL? THE REPRESENTATIVE’S BRAIN:  Rep Steve Cohen’s Purple Heart Comment To Strzok Was “Metaphorical”.  Also any vestige of honor or respect for the Constitution he swore to uphold and defend.

MY FACE; THIS IS HOW IT LOOKS WHEN SHOCKED:  Kamala Harris, fabulist.

AMERICANS DON’T BOW. ACQUIRED STIFFNESS OF THE BACK.  WE ACQUIRED IT IN 1776:  The Telegraph asks: ‘Did Trump forget to bow to the Queen?’

NEW FROM PETER GRANT:  The Pride of the Damned (Cochrane’s Company Book 3).

The shadow war started as a simple contract to defend a system against asteroid thieves. The harder Andrew Cochrane and Hawkwood Security fought, the worse things became. Now they find themselves embroiled in an interstellar war with an entire mafia!

Worse yet, the proceedings are so profitable – not to mention bloody – that they’ve attracted the attention of some of the worst criminal organizations in the galaxy. If Hawkwood is to survive, it’ll need all the wits, cunning and ingenuity it can muster – and the unwavering courage and dedication of its people.

The galaxy’s not big enough for both sides. One or the other will go to the wall.

IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE:  We’re done, let’s divide up the nation. On the good side let’s remember Twitter is not the nation.  If Twitter were the nation, we’d have president Hillary.  Deep breaths, people. It’s bad, but not that bad.

BECAUSE THOSE IN POWER DRANK THEIR OWN INK:  Why the Border Crisis Is Global.

THEY’RE A UNIVERSITY, THEY SHOULD HAVE A DICTIONARY. LOOK UP THE OPPOSITE OF “MINORITY”:  Cal Poly San Luis Obispo Thinks It Has Too Many White Students: 55 Percent.

AND IF THEY WIN? WHAT GOOD WILL IT DO THEM IF PEOPLE STOP WATCHING?  NFL Players Association Files Grievance About National Anthem Policy.

IF YOU THINK OF THE PRESS AS DEMOCRAT OPERATIVES WITH BYLINES THIS STRANGE NEW CONCERN MAKES EMINENT SENSE:  The myth of ‘skyrocketing’ gas prices.

THE REST OF THE STORY:  Kavanaugh’s Obamacare ruling: Part II.

#METOO:  The NeverTrumper dividing line.

HAVE i MENTIONED I WANT HEADS ON PIKES:  More from the theater of the Strzok hearing.

HEADS ON PIKES:  Peter Strzok Gives Congress Arrogant Lecture About Bias.

FASTER PLEASE:  Neurologists Discover Mechanism That Helps Brain Cells Communicate.

WHY? SCIENCE IS NOT FAITH:  Elizabeth Warren: EPA Administrator Must Believe in Climate Change.

WELL! THEY JUST NEED MORE OF IT FORCE-FED TO THEM:  But do the Young Readers Want to Read It?

MY FACE, IT IS SHOCKED:  Clinton Charity Money Again Going to Clinton Foundation After Hiatus.

I THINK YOU JUST DID:  Caught on Camera: Tedra Cobb Tells Supporters She Wants ‘Assault Rifle’ Ban But ‘Cannot Say That’ in Public.

THE … ER… WHAT?   Michelle Wolf Does the Abortion Limbo.

FOR THE TIMES THEY ARE ACHANGING:  Teresa May’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Brexit Day.

INSANE PEOPLE GOT TO INSANE:  Dems: We Unearthed Evil Plot with Nomination of Kavanaugh!

READING TEA LEAVES:  Kavanaugh’s Obamacare ruling: Part I.

ONE CAN HOPE, BUT I WOULDN’T GO BACK TO SLEEP:  Did Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders Save America?

DERPY DIPPERY DIP:  Here it is: Your Douchery Roundup.