IMAO.US NEEDS TO BE MORE LIKE THE BABYLON BEE, AMERICA’S PAPER OF RECORD, WHO REPORTS THIS ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE DEVELOPMENT:  In Controversial Conclusion To ‘Avengers’ Saga, Captain Marvel Slays Thanos With Incredibly Irritating Gender Inequality Lecture.  Having moved in literary circles, which are Hollywood for ugly people, I can tell you that this is very, very likely.  (No disparagement of IMAO implied or intended. They’re up there with the Babylon Bee, normally. I just doubt they really found a liberal who made it through an entire day un-offended.)

I DON’T KNOW.  DID THEY CHECK SOURCES? THIS SEEMS HIGHLY UNLIKELY:  Liberal Makes It Through Entire Day Without Being Offended.

THIS WILL END IN TEARS. AND BLOOD. AND TEARS:  The Great Othering.

LET’S SEND HER BACK TO SOMALIA. A GOFUND SHOULD GET HER A TICKET AND SOME START-UP MONEY FOR THE OTHER SIDE, AND I’D GLADLY DONATE.  IT WOULD BE ONE LESS ENEMY WITHIN, AND ENEMIES WITHOUT ARE FAR LESS TROUBLE:  Ilhan Omar Blames US Soldiers For Something People Did During ‘Black Hawk Down’.

WHEN YOU STEP OUT OF THE CHOIR:  Alan Dershowitz and the Mueller Report.

FROM THE “TOO STUPID TO LIVE” FILES:  Putting garlic in your vagina won’t cure your yeast infection.

SO WHAT? LET’S RETURN TO SEX-SEGREGATED SCHOOLS? I UNDERSTAND THAT THOSE ARE BETTER FOR TEEN BOYS CONCENTRATING ANYWAY.  I ACTUALLY DID BETTER IN A CLASS WITH A BOY WHO PERFORMED WELL AT MATH. I MADE HIM MY BOYFRIEND AND PROCEEDED TO COMPETE WITH HIM NECK AND NECK.  BAH. YOU CAN’T MAKE GIRLS PERFORM WELL IF THE DON’T WISH TO. AND WHAT’ THE POINT. ALL STUDENTS SHOULD BE PERFORMING WELL. THAT’S YOUR JOB, SCHOOLS. YOU HAD ONE JOB:  Girls do worse in math and science classes with ‘high-achieving’ boys: study.

HEADDESK HEADDESK HEADDESK:  Palestinian Jesus? Please.

HAVING (LIKE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT) READ ALL OF MY KIDS TEXTBOOKS, ALL I CAN SAY IS “THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE. SHOCKED, SHOCKED, SHOCKED.”:  The ideologue who wrote the textbook calling Trump and his supporters “racists”.

If you don’t read your kids’ textbooks, and don’t have other books and evidence ready to refute this sort of thing — and please note this stuff goes on in both public and private schools — you’re falling down on your job. You might have your reasons, but you should also be aware you’re failing your kids.

LIKE @#$&^%* IT DOES: Swearing is GOOD for you as it helps to ‘reduce pain’.

SING IT TO THE TUNE OF ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST:  Another Institution Caves to Woke Bullies.

AND DUPLICITOUS. YOU FORGOT DUPLICITOUS:  NYT: Not crazy, just two years late.

DON’T BOYCOTT THEM FOR MAKING A STUPID JOKE. IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID: Mary’s Newtown: A pub has been slammed after making a joke about Jesus.

YEAH, I’VE SUSPECTED THE SAME:  Ann Coulter Has Gone Do-Lally.

A STRANGELY PLAUSIBLE STRATEGY:  Democrats: Now That We’re Finished With the Mueller Probe, We Can Finally Tackle the Flat Earth Issue.

THE RESULT OF THIS IS ALWAYS A CURSE…  Truth and Hand Washing in the Mueller Report.

AND I CAN’T ACTUALLY LEAVE THE RIGHT GEEK BLOG TONIGHT WITHOUT ADDING THIS: Grumpy Thoughts, 7th Edition.

AND BECAUSE I SOMEHOW MISSED THIS ONE:  Misused Words.

(He’s not alone in this. Nowhere near alone.)

THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS: No Collusion!

AND ONE MORE FROM THE BABYLON BEE, AMERICA’S PAPER OF RECORD: Did Nick Cage Steal The Declaration? FALSE—Plus 5 More Shocking Snopes Reveals.  (I for one am shocked, shocked, shocked, face and all. Very face, very shocked.  And I fully expect to find Snopes at my door snapping a shot to prove I don’t have a shocked face, btw.)

Also, Dear Left, take note: you didn’t lose your sense of humor. It’s being held hostage by your self-righteousness.  Until you reclaim it, you’ll remain miserable, joyless scolds.

SOMETIMES ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUXTAPOSE:

Reporting on the Mueller Report.

CNN: ‘God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion’.

JUST LIKE STAY-AT-HOME-MOMS ROUTINELY FIND THE SAME. LIKE SEX, IT’S ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT EVERY GENERATION DISCOVERS ANEW: Stay-at-home dads are finding out parenting is hard.

TEACH WOMEN TO NOT TEST DRIVE THEIR DAUGHTERS’ BOYFRIENDS:  Mom allegedly had sex with both her daughters’ boyfriends.

GREAT – NOW I NEED TO LEARN SYRIAC?  Ancient Christian manuscripts digitized at Mount Sinai monastery.

BECAUSE IT IS:  AOC’s Green New Deal Movie Hailed As “Chilling, Dystopian Masterpiece”.