FRENCH KIDS BAFFLED BY THE ENGLISH WORD “COPING.” “It’s obviously not a word in common usage,” said “Pupil Arthur,” 17, whose petition to cancel the notorious “Question M” has gone viral.

“BUT… TO FEEL THE INCREDIBLE CHARISMA and ease at which this guy handles himself. … I was a bit of a nervous wreck and he immediately put me at ease. I don’t know how, I’m not easy to put at ease. I’m a nutbag.” Marc Maron comes in for a landing after the uncanny experience of recording a podcast in his garage with the President of the United States.

WALMART IS REMOVING ALL CONFEDERATE FLAG MERCHANDISE FROM ITS STORES. “We never want to offend anyone with the products that we offer.”

NIKKI HALEY IS ABOUT TO CALL FOR THE REMOVAL OF THE CONFEDERATE BATTLE FLAG from the South Carolina capitol grounds, sources say. Watch the live feed here.

UPDATE: The speech has concluded. Haley gave recognition to the different “viewpoints” of the meaning of the flag, but, she said, “It’s time to move the flag from the capitol grounds.” That brought huge applause. She said — this is my transcription, done live — “Some people will see this as a sad moment… but this flag, while an integral part of our past, does not belong in our future…. By removing a symbol that divides us, we can move forward in harmony,” honoring the “9 souls… who are in Heaven.” Haley stressed that this was a decision for South Carolina to make and that many people outside of the state have been distorting the meaning of the flag. It doesn’t mean hate, she assures us, but it has caused “pain to so many,” and that is the reason for banishing it from the state house grounds.

This is not a “ban” of the flag, as I’ve heard some people say. Individuals remain free to to display the flag themselves, a freedom Haley mentioned in her speech. This is the speech of the government’s, for the people as a whole, as it decides what to display on the grounds, and government gets to choose how it will speak. Governor Haley is taking the best position, I think, and I know I’m saying that as an outsider to South Carolina.

JUSTICE KAGAN EMBRACES THE SPIDER-MAN SLOGAN. In today’s majority opinion in Kimble v. Marvel Entertainment:

What we can decide, we can undecide. But stare decisis teaches that we should exercise that authority sparingly. Cf. S. Lee and S. Ditko, Amazing Fantasy No. 15: “Spider-Man,” p. 13 (1962) (“[I]n this world, with great power there must also come—great responsibility”). Finding many reasons for staying the stare decisis course and no “special justification” for departing from it, we decline Kimble’s invitation to overrule Brulotte.

GIANT HOLE BURSTS THROUGH THE MAP.

That’s where I’m blogging from… I’d just like to say, as I reappear here at Instapundit. (A genuine, unretouched screenshot of the radar satellite map at Weather Underground.)

WELCOME BACK, GLENN. I’m happy to have sojourned at your place one more time, and happy to be ousted back to the comfy environs of Althouse. Thanks to all my fellow guest-bloggers for keeping up the flow of posts over the last week. And thanks to all the readers and commenters, including the ones I needed to push back, like that time BurkeanMama and Crawf — both of them — reacted to a post about abortion with the news that I voted for Obama twice. I voted for Obama once. Guest-blogging came with registration as a commenter, so I can (and will) continue to talk back to overstatements of my nefariousness like that. But as for front-page writing, I’m bringing it all back home to Althouse.

IS THIS THE POLITICAL THEATER YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR? They say Bill Clinton is going to do a public apology to Monica Lewinsky. I look forward to the scenery chewing.

ADDED: At my home blog — where I also blogged this rumor — a commenter named Biff said: “If true, we have clear confirmation of the genesis of Monica’s recent re-emergence.” That would be Theory #2 out of the 5 theories I posited 2 days ago. I took a poll, and 50% of the respondents chose Theory #2.

ALSO back at the home blog — sorry!! — I’m soliciting scripts for Bill’s (possibly) forthcoming apology. From a commenter I particularly like — the commenter I married, Meade — here’s a proposed apology script I particularly like:

I apologize for letting you, in my moment of weakness, seduce me. And I’m sorry that it led Hillary to calling you a “narcissistic loony toon.”

As you know, I had been brought low by the then recent deaths of my mother, Hillary’s father and our close friend Vince Foster, as well as by political attacks from Republicans. I’m sorry for Republicans being, you know, Republicans. I don’t know why there even has to be Republicans.

A psychologist Hillary talked to suggested that the roots of my infidelity lay in my childhood, particularly the struggle between my mother and my grandmother over who would have the privilege of raising me. Obviously, I won the struggle.

I regret that Rand Paul has accused me of using my position of authority to take advantage of young women in the workplace. None of them were that young.

You, I, and Hillary all know that my (consensual) affair with you was not a power relationship and was not sex within any real meaning (standup, liedown, oral, etc.) of the term. So, sorry — you’ll have to get over it.

Anyway, sorry. Or, you know, whatever.

“ISSUE ADVOCACY IS NOT A HEALTHY PART OF OUR POLITICAL PROCESS,” says a blogger in the aftermath of Judge Randa’s injunction stopping the John Doe investigation of the Wisconsin Club For Growth, and David Blaska reacts: “Is that not what he does on his blog… what I do on my blog, what The New York Times and MSNBC do daily? Advocate for issues?”

CLYDE, HARVEY, MABEL, MARJORIE… some old-timey names are moving up on the newly released “Change In Popularity From 2012 To 2013” chart.

4 PINOCCHIOS FOR OBAMA.

THIS, FROM A SCOTT WALKER HATER: “If unions want to reclaim their relevance, it would be a good thing to ban use of the word ‘solidarity’ as well as anything that rhymes with ‘hey, ho’ forever more.”

FEMINIST PORN. “If it’s possible to have sex in a feminist way, it’s possible to record it in a feminist way.” (Link is safe, by the way. It goes to BBC.com.)

“YOU’RE ON A GLUTEN-FREE DIET?”/”I am.”/”What’s gluten?”… silence… cough…

A “LIKE” ATTACK, on Nazis.

“LIKE THE IRS TARGETING OF CONSERVATIVE NONPROFITS, the Wisconsin John Doe shows how campaign-finance laws have become a liberal weapon to silence political opponents. Prosecutors claim to be fighting the risk of corruption from ‘dark money’ in politics. But their enforcement attempts, done in secret and unrestrained by Constitutional guardrails, have become far more politically corrupting.”

As Judge Randa put it, and very well, “the larger danger is giving government an expanded role in uprooting all forms of perceived corruption which may result in corruption of the First Amendment itself.” Let’s hope the Seventh Circuit is as wise.

FEDERAL JUDGE SMACKS DOWN JOHN DOE INVESTIGATION IN WISCONSIN. This was the secret investigation into conservative groups whose political speech in issue ads helped Governor Scott Walker in his recall campaign. The judge cited some crazy thing called “free speech.” Imagine! Just when the investigation was squelching the Club for Growth’s fundraising in an election year, intimidating the local conservatives, some busy-body federal judge waltzes in and says it’s “unconstitutional.” Have you ever heard of such a thing?

ADDED: From the district court opinion:

The current John Doe investigation has devastated [the ability of Eric O’Keefe, director of the Wisconsin Club for Growth] to undertake issue advocacy with WCFG. O’Keefe Dec., ¶ 40. O’Keefe lost most of his fundraising abilities for the Club immediately because: (1) it would be unethical to raise money without disclosing that he is a target in a criminal investigation; (2) it would be unwise for prospects to invest the time required for them to independently evaluate any risks; (3) the secrecy order purports to bar O’Keefe from disclosing the facts of the investigation and the reasons he believes that WCFG is not guilty of any crimes; and (4) O’Keefe cannot assure donors that their information will remain confidential as prosecutors have targeted that information directly. As a result, O’Keefe estimates that the Club has lost $2 million in fundraising that would have been committed to issue advocacy. Id., ¶ 49.

WHO LURED MONICA LEWINSKY OUT OF HER 10-YEAR SILENCE? I have 5 theories (and a poll).

THE COMEBACK OF “THE COMEBACK.” I’m thrilled to see that HBO is bringing back the cancelled-after-one-season show “The Comeback.” People not understanding why that show was great made me feel so alone back in 2005.

ADDED: I felt like I was the only person who loved Lisa Kudrow but never watched an episode of “Friends.” (Except that one time when Brad Pitt was on.) Anyway, supposedly people had trouble with the way the main character (played by Kudrow) was always getting into humiliating situations — as if we’d regressed from the days when everybody loved Lucy. Or had we progressed? Conceivably, we’d boringly gotten to the point where we couldn’t laugh at a female character who couldn’t understand the situation she got herself into.

AND: This is unrelated… but would you like to see what an Entlebucher Mountain Dog puppy looks like?

MONICA WILL ALWAYS LOVE BILL. “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship.” Shouldn’t we avert our eyes? But Drudge is calling attention to this new word from Lewinsky, perhaps because she mentions him: “thanks to the Drudge Report, I was… possibly the first person whose global humiliation was driven by the Internet.” Landmarks in humiliation… something to be proud of.

“A POSITIVE ABORTION STORY…. I remember breathing and humming through it like I was giving birth. I know that sounds weird, but to me, this was as birth-like as it could be.”

“NOBEL PRIZE WINNER GARY BECKER, one of the greatest economists of the last century, passed away today.”

KATHLEEN SEBELIUS IS A WALKING JOKE, LITERALLY. At the White House Correspondents Dinner, Obama exploits the woman for laughs, acting as if his slide show is broken and then calling someone out to fix it. Sebelius is the sight-joke punchline. Hey! War on Women… don’t you think?

ISN’T HE A BIT LIKE YOU AND ME?  “At a very basic level, all critters, including you and me, are on this planet to pass along their genes, even if it means an early demise. “

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL, and thanks once again to Glenn for letting me onto this big, well-lit stage. And thanks to all the co-guestbloggers for filling this stage with endless action. And now, it’s time once again to shrink back into the murky shadows of the Althouse blog.