“Ralph Northam Joke Book”
Who was Governor Northam’s favorite actor?
John Wilkes Booth
What does Northam call a maternity ward?
A morgue
What’s Northam’s favorite movie?
Partial Birth of a Nation
What’s his second favorite movie?
13 Years a Slave
What’s his favorite Clint Eastwood movie?
Hang ‘Em High
What was Northam’s least favorite movie?
Gettysburg
What kind of maternity card does Northam send new mothers?
A sympathy card
What’s the Governor’s personal motto?
“If at first you don’t Secede, try try again”
What’s the average life expectancy in Northam’s state?
Nine months
What’s Northam’s favorite Virginia auto dealer?
Coon’s ford
Who will Northam pick to head Virginia’s infant services?
Dr. Jack Kevorkian
What’s the Governor’s least favorite car?
a Lincoln continental
What’s Northam’s favorite part of any city?
the Hood
How does Northam describe his welfare system, and a maternity ward?
“From cradle to grave”
What’s the Governor’s preferred method of public transportation?
The Underground Railroad
Who was Northam’s favorite President?
Jefferson Davis
What are Northam’s favorite books?
the Clan of the cave bear
Confederacy of Dunces
What is Gov. Northam’s favorite bird?
Jim Crow
Who are Northam’s favorite aristocrats?
The Dukes of Hazzard, and David Duke
Who are Northam’s least favorite aristocrats?
Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Prince
What was Northam voted as in his college yearbook?
Most likely to Secede
Who is Northam’s favorite general, and his usual response to an accusation?
Stonewall
What are Northam’s chances of remaining Governor?
Gone with the Wind
How does Ralph Northam describe the sides of an isosceles triangle?
Separate But Equal
Heh.