I’VE WRITTEN BEFORE about Jeff Zaslow’s reports of anti-male bigotry, but I have to say that this item in Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column takes the cake:
My younger, 13-year-old sister is having a slumber party for her birthday, and invited three or so of her 13- to 14-year-old girlfriends to our house. Shortly after, “Sara’s” mother suggested that my sister’s party should be held at “Tammy’s” house. Why? Because Tammy has a single mother. Sara’s mother is concerned that my father will be in his house during the festivities. There is no reason to be concerned about my father doing anything inappropriate to any of the girls (all the parents have met each other), but she is just uncomfortable about the idea of her daughter sleeping in the same house with another nonfamily man. She has also convinced the other parents that a change of venue would be a good idea. Although Tammy’s mother is willing to host the event, my family is offended that the situation has come to this. Since when is it a crime to have a happy two-parent household?
Only when one of the parents is a man. Prudence’s response is excellent, though I’m not sure that anyone should even explain that they’re “sensitive to such concerns.” If this were a matter of race — or of gender prejudice against women — no one would be advising sensitivity.
UPDATE: Donald Sensing emails:
Glenn, regarding your post about the woman who objected to sending her daughter to a friend’s home for a sleepover because the friend’s father would be present, it’s worth considering that at least 20 percent of child sexual abuse is committed by children against other children. In fact, reports StopItNow.com, “As much as half of all child sexual abuse is committed by children under the age of 18 (Hunter, J.A., Figueredo, A., Malamuth, N.M., & Becker, J.V. (2003). Juvenile sex offenders: Toward the Development of a Typology. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment, (2003) Volume 15, No. 1.).”
I think an appropriate response by the original hosting parents to that mother would be to say, “I am uncomfortable with the idea of sending my daughter to spend the night in another house where only one adult is present,” and put the shoe back on her foot.
Meanwhile, reader Richard Aubrey posits a PC meme-clash: “Suppose the husband/father in question were black. The SPIW (Self-Professed Incredibly Wonderful) would have a stroke trying to figure out which meme was stronger.”