THIS PARAGRAPH CAPTURES THE ESSENCE OF THE ATLANTIC’S SAD PIECE ON THE WORLD’S BIGGEST CRUISE SHIP: “A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.”

Mocking cruise ships and cruisers is a long-established custom of the Gentry Class. But it’s hard to mock successfully when you yourself are pathetic.

Plus: “As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.”

But he misses the lesson there, of course.

UPDATE: A friend texts:

What a writer proudly and pompously ignorant of what “aft” means looks like.

Excuse me, I mean a travel journalist.  

Are you sure this isn’t some really hurtful Sacha Baron Cohen hit on the left?

Kinda reads like one.

I mean, the subtle attack on lefty douchebaggery via the clever lens of a lefty douchebag.

I wish. Plus:

This is not actually an article about cruise ships.

I for one salute The Atlantic for the petard hoistment. The unabashed mirror on itself, compliments of this wanker who seems to be more interested in himself than the alleged subject matter. It’s almost like a desperate cry for help. Like, this is the depth of masturbatory douchebaggery we have sunk to!

Well, for some values of “we.”