In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.
“We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people,” Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. “It will take some doing, but we’re in this for the long and pointless haul.” . . . “Don’t lose faithlessness, Democrats,” Kennedy said. “The next election is ours to lose. To those who say we can’t, I say: Remember Michael Dukakis. Remember Al Gore. Remember John Kerry.”
Kennedy said that, even if the Democrats were to regain the upper hand in the midterm elections, they would still need to agree on a platform and chart a legislative agenda—an obstacle he called “insurmountable.”
“Universal health care, the war in Iraq, civil liberties, a living wage, gun control—we’re not even close to a consensus within our own ranks,” Kennedy said. “And even if we were, we wouldn’t know how to implement that consensus.”
Sounds like The Onion has been reading Megan McArdle.
Of course, the Republicans’ problem is that they’ve got ideas — they just don’t use them.