LARRY CORREIA: A LETTER TO EPIC FANTASY READERS: I KNOW ROTHFUSS AND MARTIN HURT YOU, BUT IT’S TIME TO GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON.

Listen, epic fantasy readers, real talk time. I know you had a good thing going with George. At the beginning of your relationship there seemed like there was so much potential there, like he really cared, and he’d provide a satisfactory end to your relationship. Only George is fat and lazy, and once he got that sweet sweet HBO money, he didn’t need you anymore. So then you turned to Pat, only he was even sleazier, gas lighting you, promising you a new chapter if you paid his rent, stringing you along for a decade.

So now you’re bitter because you’ve been burned by these two bums. No more abusive relationships for you! All men… er, I mean, epic fantasy authors, are untrustworthy scum, who’ll never seal the deal, and you’re never gonna date/read again! You’re only gonna read epic fantasy series once they’re complete! I ain’t reading nothing unless they put a ring on it! That’s right, epic fantasy authors, don’t come sniffing around here unless your epic 5 or 7 book series is already done!

You sit there with the salty tears leaving mascara trails down your cheeks, drinking your box wine, bitterly posting about how all fantasy authors are trash and you’ll never try their books, because you’ve been burned before! And then you act surprised when no new epic fantasy writers show up to court you…

Alright, enough of that tortured analogy crap. Let’s get down to business. . . .

Bragging about not trying new authors unless their series are finished has become stylish. It’s a fucking meme. The issue is if nobody buys book 1, then I can absolutely fucking guarantee that the series isn’t gonna get done, because no author is stupid enough to waste a decade of his life not making any money, in the off chance you fickle bastards *might* give it a shot when he’s done.

Yeah, I get the frustration — and I enjoy his slap at David Gerrold — but he’s 100% right.