I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM: What with work and family stuff, I don’t drink nearly enough these days. That’s why I’ve started using one of these gadgets, addressing a problem — spoilage — that I never used to face. I used to think that these things were for wimps, but now I realize that they’re not. Or that I am . . . .

UPDATE: Reader Jason Greenman says I need to be using nitrogen. Jeez, I’ve gone from nitrous-injectors to nitrogen-injectors. . . .