ROBERT GRABOYES: Pandemic Amnesty, No. Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Yes.

Toward the end of National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978), Flounder, a gawky freshman pledge, cries inconsolably because the older members of his fraternity have destroyed the Lincoln Continental his older brother lent him for the weekend. Otter, an oleaginous charmer, pats Flounder on the back with mock compassion and says, “C’mon, Flounder. … You can’t spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes. … You f**ked up! You trusted us! … Hey, make the best of it!”

In an Atlantic article (Let’s Declare a Pandemic Amnesty), Brown University economics professor Emily Oster channels Otter; and Oster-as-Otter invites the American public to assume the position of Flounder. Oster’s solution to nearly three years of “totally misguided” (her words) COVID-19 policies is “Let’s declare a pandemic amnesty.” After an endless torrent of mandated mayhem—grandma dying alone, funerals by Zoom, businesses bankrupted, educations wrecked, social fabric shredded—Oster says, “I certainly don’t need to dissect and rehash that time for the rest of my days. … Moving on is crucial now.” In other words, “You can’t spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes. … Hey, make the best of it!”

Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who!