JAMES LILEKS’ SYNDICATED COLUMN is on the Sandy Berger affair:

Hey, it’s happened to us all. You have an orange for lunch, your hands get sticky. Things happen, and besides, none of the memos could possibly have cast the Clinton team in a bad light, of course.

But let’s play everyone’s favorite game, “What If He Was a Republican?” Imagine Dick Cheney caught filling his socks with documents on pre-Sept. 11 security procedures. Imagine a hidden camera snapping shots of Condi Rice slipping secret memos into her foundation garments. We wouldn’t be hearing about impeachment, we’d be debating the probity of rolling a guillotine toward the White House, and whether the heads should be arranged alphabetically on the fence spikes, or by seniority.

So what do we do with a guy who not only treats his trousers as a diplomatic pouch but was national security adviser during the years when al-Qaida feasted on American laziness?

Blame Bush, if you listen to David Sanger and Eric Lichtblau.