THE INSTADAUGHTER AND I finished watching the latest Simpsons DVD collection yesterday. My favorite episode is Marge vs. the Monorail, which features this memorable Homer line: “Doughnuts! Is there anything they can’t do?”

What’s more, Marge’s steadfast belief that the city would be better off funding road repairs than mass transit turns out to be environmentally sound:

Encouraging travellers to switch from cars and airlines to inter-city trains brings no benefits for the environment, new research has concluded.

Challenging assumptions about railways’ green superiority, the study finds that the weight and fuel requirements of trains have increased to the point where rail could become the least energy-efficient form of transport. . . .

Assuming the continuing dominance of fossil fuel-based electricity, the study indicates that suitable French-style rolling-stock would require twice as much fuel per seat as a Volkswagen Passat, and more than a short-haul aircraft.

Monorails, however, are not specifically mentioned. Still, Marge seems to have been on to something. Or, in other words: “Save the planet. Jump into your car.”

Maybe I should print up a bumper sticker with that slogan, and put it on my Passat!