JULES CRITTENDEN: And the winner of the Democratic Iowa caucuses is … Donald Trump!
“Can’t gin up a decent impeachment even with the entire US govt working on it for them. Can’t even run a caucus in the cornfields. Great kickoff for the Dems in 2020! Yeah, we’re the ones you want running the country!”
I mean, seriously. Never mind the rush to hard left, all the socialism, race-baiting, pretending like the economy is bad, siding with Iran, etc.
Bored with the wait, I text again:
“We’ve only been having elections in this country for 240 years. Maybe those dingbats in Iowa should try it.”
Actually, my big thought was this was all on purpose. The party Democrats, who hate Bernie, fearing the prospect of a hard-left socialist running on what they actually intend to do, were trying to figure out how to put in the fix.
Their statement: “We found inconsistencies in the reporting of three sets of results. In addition to th tech systems being used to tabulate results, we are also using photos of results and a paper trail to validate that all results match … ” Blah blah blah. Then the punchline. “This is not a hack or an intrusion.”
Ha ha! Whatever happened to the Russians and Ukrainians? Have they finally used those ones up? I took that as Democratic shorthand for, “No, we’re really, really serious this time. We’re admitting it up front. We screwed it up.”
Great nationwide ad! For the Trump campaign. Part of our crazy orange president’s weird political genius. Get the other side to do your dirty work for you. That impeachment? He must have been loving every minute of it. That sad, expensive Russia investigation, which it is increasingly clear was not only cocked up, but probably criminally so. Another Trump win.
OK, finally @realDonaldTrump weighs in on Twitter.
“The Democratic Caucus is an unmitigated disaster. Nothing works, just like they ran the country. Remember the 5 Billion Dollar Obamacare Web … ”
Not bad, but mine were better.
Anyway, the Democrats managed to suck the life out of what is supposed to be a big national event energizing the voters into a run of primaries from which a challenger to Trump would emerge triumphant, with red, white and blue balloonfalls.
Instead, who won the Democratic Iowa caucuses?
Donald Trump.
I wonder if he’s tired of winning yet.
Related: Democrats Need to Declare the Iowa Caucuses Non-Viable and Abort Them.