JOURNALISM: “It’s as if somebody at WaPo decided to make the left-hand column as female-oriented as possible. All the authors are female. Story #1 alarms us about Trump’s ‘stance’ — which calls to mind that bane of female existence, manspreading. Story #2 calls to mind The 3 Stooges, who enact a style of male behavior that women find so off-putting. We all know women hate The 3 Stooges. And finally, there’s relief: 2 female lead characters. If we can’t love Hillary Clinton, surely we can warm up to these 2 solid standby females, Laura and Michelle. Gotta love at least one of them. First Ladies! Hillary was a First Lady, so… let’s love First Ladies. Maybe that will help.”

But whatever you do, don’t talk about the old ladies Hillary is ripping off via illegal, repeated credit card charges.