IT’S COME TO THIS: Chelsea Clinton: Men must ‘lead the way’ to gender equality.

During an interview with Fortune, Chelsea Clinton (daughter of Bill and Hillary, interviewer of computer-animated geckos) claimed that around the world men must be the ones to lead the way to gender equality.

“We’ve seen some real cultural normative shifts — and candidly it often has to be men who lead the way,” Clinton said when asked specifically about gender equality in Japan. “In countries where we’ve seen real declining rates in child marriage, of female genital mutilation, it has always been the result of a real cross-sector coalition [with men leading].”

Sorry ladies, it is not you who can bring about the change we need. It’s time for you to get out of the way and let the menfolk take over.

As always with the politics of the era of Hope & Change, The Onion got here first: Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement.

After decades spent battling gender discrimination and inequality in the workplace, the feminist movement underwent a high-level shake-up last month, when 53-year-old management consultant Peter “Buck” McGowan took over as new chief of the worldwide initiative for women’s rights. . . .

McGowan claimed that one of the main reasons the movement enjoyed so little success in the past was that the previous management was often too timid and passive and should have been much more results-focused.

“You can’t waste time pussyfooting around with protests and getting all emotional about a bunch of irrelevant details,” McGowan said. “If you want to enjoy equal rights, you have to have a real man-to-man chat with the people in charge until you can hammer out some more equitable custody laws.”

“And don’t get me started on how disorganized and scatterbrained their old fundraising methods were,” McGowan added. “Let’s just say the movement never really had a head for numbers.”

The Onion: Not actually parody, so much as prescience.