BIG BEAR TERRORIZING TOWNSEND WOMAN: “For about two months now a bear — one she estimates to be about 7 feet tall and at least 400 pounds — has been coming around her house, sometimes as many as three times a day. . . . Shibley is a little scared herself, so much so that she just about doesn’t go outside. She is even worried about cooking. She woke up one morning to bloody claw marks on a screen.”

I’m thinking it’s bearskin-rug time.