SECRETS OF STAYING MARRIED.

UPDATE: Reader Duane Oyen isn’t crazy about this article:

It is 100% from a female perspective, no matter who does the commentary. Almost no one out there will speak the real secrets, which are short and simple, and politically incorrect:

1) Advice for her: a) Laura Schlessinger said it- “If he’s not horny, give him a sandwich”- in other words, willingly screw his brains out several times a week, whether you are in the mood or not (most of the time you won’t be, so if you rely on your moods, you will be in trouble- he will be miserable but he won’t tell you why because that will make it worse); b) don’t become a *itch; c) don’t double in size

2) Advice for him: a) converse with her every day about subjects SHE wants to talk about, and that means YOU LISTEN; b) don’t become a jerk; c) don’t turn into a lazy slob with a beer belly.

3) For both: if you take the plunge, plan on staying married, don’t give yourself an easy out.

That won’t work for 100% of the couples- nothing can- but I bet it would, if meticulously followed, cut the divorce rate by 75%. BTW, we have been married for 36 years, and succeed at about 70% of the list.

Whatever works.